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Petrino Elopes with Arkansas

by El_Che (writer), Milton, Georgia, December 18, 2007

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Coach Petrino abandons the Atlanta Falcons for the Arkansas Razorbacks.

The Atlanta Falcons have been hit with many scandals as of late and it has made me a fan of the team and their new unscripted reality TV drama. Besides the Michael Vick storyline and the usual hoodlum behavior of the team members, which I find greatly clichéd and trite, their ex-coach, Mr. Petrino, snuck out of town like a thief in the night leaving a “Dear John” letter in the team’s locker room. Shocked and dismayed the jilted team members replaced his signature with “coward” before going out to denounce their former coach and mentor as a lying scoundrel. Apparently, Petrino had been living a double life, lying to his team and owner about how dedicated he was to their relationship, while courting and secretly planning his elopement with his new fling, Arkansas.

In Atlanta, there is a lot of outrage from fans and sports columnist who are busy trying to find the reason why we were abandoned. Maybe we are not pretty or witty enough, or maybe we are too fat and the younger leaner college team was just too tempting. Most have concluded that it was not our fault at all but rather Petrino’s wandering eye and low moral character that lead him astray. While more philosophical minds endeavor to argue that it is the NFL culture that breeds unrepentant, lying cheaters. Either way the team was angry, disorganized and resentful as they lost their last game in a pitiful display of personal ego and lack of discipline. It was like watching a dysfunctional family of young men, 300 pounds and 7ft tall men, angrily lash out at their absent Father who in the end never cared enough to stand by their side when it counted most.

Like all good soap operas, I am hoping for a fairy tale ending, where a new coach comes in and becomes the foster parent whose passion for the game is only tempered by the love of his team. The team, inspired by their admiration of their long lost Father then demolishes all their opponents on the fairytale road to the Super Bowl. It could happen!?!


About the Writer

El_Che is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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1 comments on Petrino Elopes with Arkansas

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By GreatMinds on December 25, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Great insights! Good response, too!! As an Alabama fan who loves Nick Saban, it is ironic that I found him detestable when he was with the Dolphins. Why?? Because I'm a Miami Dolphins fan from childhood, back in the Bob Griese era, I thought Saban was not only out of place in the NFL, but sorely unfit to coach MY team!!! And, I was right. He's in his proper element now, no matter what the NFL players thought. The coach-hatred is usually media driven, frankly. Since they hounded Saban into his now infamous statement that, "I'm not going to be the Alabama coach", they've followed him into Tuscaloosa on a mission to discredit anything he says or does. They acted then, and still do now, as if they are owed answers at all, and 100% true answers. Well, here's the simple truth: News reporters are never owed the truth, and they are never owed answers or explanations. Period. Having said so, Petrino's lies were to someone whom he did owe the truth --- Arthur Blank. The confidence of Blank was misplaced, and Petrino's nature was revealed. Like Bill Parcells (whose move to the Dolphins I disapprove -- can you say "job hopper"?) and his flirtation with Blank, and the public humiliation of his acceptance of the Miami job, Blank is proving himself quite inept in choosing well who to trust. This is not a judgment of Blank as an owner and business person, but it is a judgment of Blank as a football executive who exercises power in the operations of his team. He is proving to be as poorly equipped to 'run' a team as Wayne Huizenga. That surprised me, to be frank.
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