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Sunday, October 22, 2017

Assault by the Seed

by C.V. Harris (writer), U.S.A., December 18, 2007

One writer's view point regarding having a child who hits a parent.

Dedicated to parent(s) everywhere who have been at the receiving end of being hit by their child.

I guess it’s safe for me to assume that since I have a blog, have written a book, been on the radio and give advice on my ASK C.V. column, that I can be considered a point-of-reference in the eyes of some. Although I am grateful for the blessings that I have received, one must remember that I am a single parent just as many of you are. I flail around to get answers at parenting and relationships as well as seeking sound solutions regarding everyday situations that my life presents just as I’m sure yours does. I offer to my readers’ mere suggestions to resolve overwhelming and/or negative circumstances that they share with me to hopefully gain resolve. I bring another slant in which to view a dilemma to possibly learn, thrive and flourish as a better individual. Because let’s face it, we are all in this thing called life TOGETHER! So let each one teach one.

The following is my attempt to open the eyes of some blinded by a fury strong enough to prompt a child to strike their parent(s): God help the chile, for they know not what they do!

In my journey through life people talk to me. Candidly. They speak to me about a variety of matters of the heart such as infidelity, drugs, rape, incest, divorce, school, separation, abandonment, adoption, loneliness, alcoholism, aging, dying, death, work, and assault. How many of us have been in a situation where your child, your spawn, your baby, your seed, has hit, scratched, punched, kicked at, and yes, assaulted Y-O-U?

No need to re-read because you read it right the first time. And I’m not talking about a full-grown person who is thoroughly experienced with the twists and turns of life, who may have battered their elder parent (although that’s a topic of another discussion). I’m speaking of the baby-gurlz and baby-boyz who are in their late teens and early twenties. The ones who naively believe that they’ve mastered the techniques in the bedroom and that illusioned mastery gives them a license to think that they know more then we do, or that they are/or will ever be as grown as we, the parents. These are the very ones who you opted to give life, instead of being the first one in the abortion line. These foreign beings, and I call them foreign because if they have the balls to hit a parent, then they certainly aren’t the children you have grown to know over the years, are they?

These outsiders actually had the audacity, the disrespect, the bravado, and the unadulterated gall, to strike you? Oh - it gets better - check this one out: They lash out at you and all the while you have your palms open and outstretched as you try unsuccessfully to avoid yet another foul kick from your offspring as they scream, scratch and hit you. Later, you find out through the vine of gossip, that they’ve lied on you (as they are now the one homeless because you’ve thrown them out) and they now falsely accuse you of say, breaking one of their arms, legs, or three of their ribs when you never striked them to begin with. You never got a blow in even if you wanted to, nor were your intentions to cause bodily injury to your loved one. You were busy trying to protect yourself from the passion that echoed each of the kicks you endured from your offspring as they were being dished out! That one certainly tops the list of betrayal doesn’t it? Being kicked by your kid I mean? Pfft.

What a difficult untruth to have to keep up with once you’ve lied on your parent wouldn’t you say? I guess once a child realizes that they’ve once and for all overstepped their boundaries with us, and have really blown it in terms of being able to live with us, who would view them in a sympathetic light of some sort if a tale wasn’t concocted explaining why we’ve thrown em out. They must create a tale so truth-seeking that it would appear to place the burden of culpability on the shoulders of the parent. Luckily, most parents have or should have broad shoulders coupled with wisdom to know not to sweat the lies being circulated about them from the mouths of their children. Life will most confidently “fix” the situation, just give it time. One day your child, hopefully, will see the ruins of his or her behavior, because hindsight has ALWAYS and continues to be 20/20, and thank Gawd for that!!!!

It shouldn’t matter what you as a parent said to your child, nor should it matter if what you said may have come out of your mouth with less than the utmost respect. The bottom line is you are the parent and they are the children living under your roof. We should never be put in a situation where we are forced to defend and protect ourselves from our very own children! N-E-V-E-R!

I swear sometimes I believe young adults today just don’t think sensibly. They make hasty decisions/actions today, forgetting that often times they must adhere to the commitments that they made or initiated yesterday. They burn valuable bridges by trying to impress a boyfriend or girlfriend, talking fast, sassy and loud. They verbally write checks their inexperienced butts can’t cash then their illogical pride kicks in. When all else fails, they lie on us. The parent. UN........REAL!!!

Guess they think they’re “showing us” by not calling, or coming home once we’ve had enough and told them to get the hell out!! Don’t they think once a parent is F-E-D up from the disrespect we’ve received for so long, that we no longer care with the same amount of hunger we once did? If you treat a dog like a dog, even he’ll get tired and run away. Or he’ll bite off the hand that fed him!!

Once you, dear child, have violated that unspeakable boundary of “hitting your parent”, we don’t care if you call, come back or even apologize to us for that matter. Some actions are just unforgivable!!! Now understand, it doesn’t mean that we don’t care entirely about your well-being, or have stopped loving you, it means that we are not tolerating anymore of your disrespect!! We have given up and are now letting the lessons of life take over as your teacher. Unbeknownst to you, you’ll respect life a helluva lot better than you respect the parent that you decided to lash out at.

Assault at the hands of your child is, in my eyes, UNFORGIVABLE!

And that my friend, should not be open for discussion............ by anyone.


About the Writer

C.V. Harris is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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