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Death on Wheels? That's a little dramatic, isn't it? Well, yes, I suppose it is... but if you'll bear with me, I will demonstrate how the very existence of the PT Cruiser has murdered taste and massacred better judgement, all the while asphyxiating our culture's collective memory.
So, let's start with the obvious facts. In terms of its appearance, the PT Cruiser is an abomination. It's a cartoonish, over-designed, ill-conceived, crapmobile that presents itself as a sleek, modern version of the classic American cars of yore. Its jaunty, yet sentimental, body-style is reminiscent of cars such as the "1936 Ford", the "Ford Sportsman" and the "Woody"
So what's the big deal? Those are all good looking cars - why not pay homage to them? Well, the problem is this: When those cars were designed, they were unique and modern (hard to believe, but its true)... and guess what - they were actually designed by designers. There was creativity involved, and artistry at work.
Sure, the PT Cruiser was also designed by designers, but before those designers could put the major elements of their prototype into production mode - they had to run it by a series of focus groups, as explained in this article from Salon.com And the questions these focus groups were asked went far beyond the typical "What do you think", "Would you drive this car?" line of investigation. Chrysler actually brought in a Jungian psychologist, Dr. Clotaire Rapaille, who applied his theories of consumerism and the reptillian brain to the inner and outer appearance of this godforsaken vehicle.
From creativityatwork.com
"To find that first imprint, a prototype car (like the blank from which a key is made) was set down in the midst of a roomful of people. The participants were asked to provide their first impressions of, for example, its size, and the feeling of being inside it. Rapaille then led them through a combination of dreamwork and regression therapy to get their deep responses.
"What he uncovered were codes for the way people experience cars and being on the road. These codes were used in the design of the car. Rapaille uses biology metaphors to explain human behaviour-- women are the gatekeepers; we control what's inside and the way things get in; men control the outside and getting out.
The code for the outside of the PT Cruiser is masculine: Mad Max road warrior, Al Capone gangster-it's a jungle out there. To create a mental connection to the car, it had to have a familiar structure, hence the retro-futuristic design."
Are you nauseous yet? Let's dissect what this means. Basically, this guy dug deep into the unconscious mind of the focus group participants to uncover the specific involuntary-synapse-firings that would drive (excuse the pun) Americans to the nearest Chrysler dealership, pen in hand, ready to sign the lease on their new "masculine retro-futuristic" lifestyle. Sick, right? Or brilliant?
I'm no fool. It's brilliant. It's a marketing method that preys upon the most instinctual, irrational, emotional parts of our psyches... and apparently, it's very effective. When Chrysler let this pre-fab monstrosity loose in January of 2000, they didn't expect it to go over like a pack of wild wolves in a schoolyard, they predicted to see sales at the level of a moderately popular, "niche" car.
If you think back to this time period ('98-'99), and you have a long-standing habit of watching as much late-night television as I do, you might remember the long-form infomercials that Chrysler produced in the ramp-up to the PT Cruiser's debut. Chrysler felt that their new venture needed a little extra nudge in the publicity department because they figured it wouldn't have the mass appeal that it did. When in fact, sales of the PT Cruiser in the first year (2000) exceeded expectations to such a degree that there were waiting lists at dealerships and people actually began "flipping" their PT Cruisers, and turning a considerable profit in the process.
From the San Jose Mercury News, June 19, 2000 Drive column:
"On eBay last week, no fewer than a dozen Cruisers were up for bid with prices ranging from $20,100 to $27,500. An additional 500-plus Cruiser items, ranging from toy models to mouse pads to press kits, were being offered, too."
It worked! Some PT Cruiser message board archives from this era read like bad diary entries written by lovelorn women waiting for their soldier-boys to come home.
From www.moparchat.com
Posted by vicious 04-05-2000, 05:14 PM
I'm curious about when people ordered their PTC's and at what stage they are at. Has anyone gotten their Cruisers yet? I ordered a Black 28G/ABS/CD on 4/1/00 and am wondering if the 6-8 week timeframe given to me by the dealer is realistic.
Posted by BobC 04-07-2000, 02:41 PM
I really don't know what to think, anymore. I guess I would say don't hold your breath believing the dates. Our vacation plans are pretty much "toast".
Posted by Gary G 04-08-2000, 02:55 AM
What have we learned? Visit two or three large dealers, deposit $500 at each, and pray.
Although some folks were able to build empires through shady deals made on rare Cruisers, others had questions. If these cars were so damn hip, and if they exemplified all that was exciting and young and fresh in the world... then why were the people driving them so dorky?
From forum.ebaumsworld.com
Posted by Dr. Dre 12-19-2002, 11:34 PM
I hate PT cruisers! Anyone have one? Tell me whats in em, cuz on the outside they look pretty fuckin stupid to me...
Posted by deermaster 12-20-2002, 12:07 AM
You can usually find a few dickheads in them.
That's a message board thread I can get behind.
Back to the problem. I promised I'd explain why the PT Cruiser is the mobile of death, and I intend to keep that solemn oath. So what do we have here? A car that was designed based on the subconscious desires of American rejects, that was marketed as a masterpiece of precision engineering, that was passed off as a retro-dreammachine by a naive past-its-prime automaker and that made a lot of people feel happy and young again. What's the big deal? Well I'd like to suggest that the big deal is the fact that the design of this car, and the level to which its target audience (intended or accidental) embraced its fantastically offensive appearance and ravenously gobbled up each and every one off of every lot in the first year after it was released, speaks to a general softening of our collective perception of aesthetics.
I'm not going to get into the whole "what is beauty?" debate. That's not going to go anywhere. What I am going to get into is the concept of mass appeal and acceptance, and how it is the most pervasive and singularly disappointing facet of current pop culture.
Why do people buy PT Cruisers? Well, why do most people by anything? First there must be need. Whether the transportation analysts, land-use planners and bicycle advocates of the world like it or not, in 99 out of 100 U.S. cities, you need a car to get around. And it's no surprise that for most Americans, their car is an extension of themselves. I'm not immune to this affliction - I used to own a 1968 Dodge Dart, a classic American muscle car that guzzles gas and is so old it doesn't even need to pass smog to be allowed on the road here in California. I loved how that car looked, and how I felt when I was driving it, and even how I looked when I was driving around in it. It allowed me to communicate my appreciation of 1960s culture and the aesthetics of mid-century design without having to actually say anything. When people saw me driving the car they knew that I hadn't just walked onto a dealership lot and said "Give me your most affordable, practical car" - it was clear that I'd searched high and low for the perfect old car to express my devotion to that era - and I was paying a hefty price, through extra gas and insurance and emissions, for the privilege to drive it on a daily basis. Cars are awesome. I get that. (For the record I now drive a nondescript, late model Honda Civic)
Cars are awesome, and, they are everywhere. In fact, cars and everything that comes along with them (such as roads, parking lots, driveways, garages, etc.) take up so much of the physical space we are surrounded with, we are thinking about them all the time - whether we realize it or not. And I would argue that as one of the few big-ticket items just about everyone in America owns, for a great deal of folks, cars serve as one of the main touchstones for design - good or bad. We feel things when we look at cars. Maybe it's frustration, or lust, or danger - but we feel something. Sure, some of those feelings stem from elements other than a car's design... I'm reminded of the opening scene in "Office Space" where the main character is sitting in traffic and watching an 80-year old man pass him by with his walker, or any clip from "An Inconvenient Truth" - I understand that much of what cars inspire in those who choose to point out how "evil" they are is just sheer anger at the futility and destruction of a country that's overcrowded with them. But, whether we realize it or not, many of those feelings stem from our aesthetic perceptions as well... we are affected by how cars look!
Think about it - architecture has been around since we first began constructing buildings that were beyond huts and shelters to protect us from the elements. First they were temples and pyramids and other gifts to our "gods", and over time they became tributes to the scientific achievements of mankind and our ability to defy gravity and physics and build towers into the sky. You won't find many to argue against the fact that the fantastic oddness of the Guggenheim, or the symmetry of the gardens at Versailles can create a transcendent feeling when you're standing in the middle of it all. You wouldn't compare the Sistine Chapel to a strip mall. So how can anyone argue that being forced to look at a thousand regurgitated deformities like the PT Cruiser, which possess all the beauty of a Wal-Mart Super Center (as do other clownish cars like the HHR, the Toyota Scion, the Honda Element and the Pontiac Aztec) every day isn't somehow damaging our sense of place and our peace with our surroundings?
OK, so we can agree that most people need cars, and many of those people need cars that say something about them, and that most people (even those immune to the need for a car that makes a statement) are surrounded by cars on a daily basis. Finally, I'd like to point out that people need to feel accepted, appreciated, and that they are part of something. Religion, support groups, underground sex clubs, obscure rock band fan clubs, furry conventions... there are a million subsets of culture that people get involved in so that they can be part of that thing that everyone accepts, or that no one understands. PT Cruisers are one of those subsets. It's safe to imagine that many PT Cruiser owners are aware of the polarizing effects of their vehicle. You either love it or hate it, right? And maybe to some people that's a mark of good design: something that really makes people feel something. The PT Cruiser has certainly inspired me to feel anger and disgust, and to think (and write, at great length) about it. But I think there are a larger number of PT Cruiser owners who are just so smitten with their cars they can't even understand how anyone could find them less than magnificent. These folks usually also have a sticker affixed to their Cruiser's rear window that says "Raider Nation" or that features the comic character Calvin peeing on something or other.
They aren't really thinking in terms of questionable marketing practices, nor do they care about the fact that they paid $3,000 over the asking price for their treasured PT. They just know that they have the car of their dreams and they are happy to be a part of something. Before you tell me that my next sentence should begin with "Bah Humbug", let me also point out that they aren't concerned with things like artistic vision, and pure aesthetic truth, and they have no desire to try and understand the concept that we are profoundly affected by our physical surroundings - whether we realize it or not.
The PT Cruiser wasn't created in the mind of a young, visionary designer who wanted to change the face of the auto industry and mobilize consumers with an innovative new vehicle that would continue to push the envelope of design and construction of one of the few things our culture still recognizes as even having a design, or a concept. Rather, this car is an nothing but an amalgamation of sentimental design elements. It's a caricature of cars that were originally designed to be beautiful (and to illicit a response because of their beauty). And it's a psychological trick played on a bunch of dumb, tacky fools.
It's my hope that they all evaporate someday. Until then, I have this:
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