How often can’t you sleep and you’re kept awake by thoughts of how great you are? I guess almost never. Do you? If you don’t torment yourself hardly ever about how great you are, you shouldn't do it when doing less great either.
Did you notice that your mind is filling the gaps? If something bad happens and you don’t know why, do you fill in the reasons, with things that you have done in the past and blame yourself for it? Most often, the reasons you find are not the real ones, and it is not your fault. However, your mind is searching desperately to find a reason. Therefore you rely on the facts that you have available namely, your actions.
“If ain’t something else, it must be me!”
How to heal yourself from self-doubt
1. Let people that you trust know your self-doubts
Keeping everything to yourself can become a secret for which you might feel ashamed. The more you hide things, the bigger the secret will feel, and the lower your self-esteem can get.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable sometimes and people around you will see you as one of them: you are human like the rest of us. Plus, when you let yourself vulnerable, unveiling your self-doubts to others, they will open up to you. Once the door is open, great things might happen to you.
You can discover that you are not the only one dealing with that issue; you have more information to sort out real friends; you have the opportunity to share ideas, experiences, what works and what doesn’t.
2. Change the way you are speaking to yourself
As you don’t use derogatory and mean words towards others, train your mind to treat you respectfully as well.
Use positive words to describe yourself and your abilities.
3. Get out of the loop
Self-doubt is a never ending circle that you go in around and around coming up to the same conclusion almost each time: ”I’m not good enough.” It is like going back tens of times to check if you locked the door.
Become assertive with yourself and step out of the loop. It is torture for your mind to stay in. Imagine being forced to watch over and over and over again a bad movie. It is almost the same thing but a bit worse because the actor is you and we tend to take things personally.
4. Surround yourself with positive people
What you see others doing, you are modeling on your behavior and attitude. Improve your interpersonal skills and gather around you those people that appreciate, respect and love you; those people that bring out the best in you; those people that allow you to be who you are with no fear and reservations.
5. Make peace with your past
Forgive yourself for whatever keeps you to be the greatest person that you can be. It is not fair to your former self to judge things with the understanding and knowledge you have today. Know that you have done the best you knew at that moment in your life.
6. Stand by your decisions
An average decision is better than no decision. Self-doubt has this nasty habit to stop you from making a commitment; takes away your ability to put things in balance and perspective; it creeps on you with every opportunity, forcing you to second-guess yourself in details.
Give yourself permission to be wrong sometimes; that is how you learn and grow in life.
Arm yourself with the courage to act and behave as your goals and dreams need you to do it. Assume the responsibility for your failures but your success as well, before even starting. Take a decision and learn to leave with and stand by it. Believe in yourself and believe that no matter what you choose to do, it is the best choice for that moment in time.
7. See yourself through the eyes of your loved ones
Does it happen to you to undervalue something that you own and consider throwing it away but then someone else wants it and tells you marvelous things about it, and suddenly you want to keep it?
Stop taking yourself for granted. When you feel down, and self-doubt creeps on you, see yourself through the eyes of your loved ones. What you might undervalue or don’t even notice about yourself, they love, appreciate and want. You are invaluable to them. See that, feel that and take their word for it.
You are invaluable.