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Bachelor ready to 'pull girls, with pimped out room'

by Aaron S. (writer), santa monica, November 28, 2007

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A Culver City resident is on the prowl, with a pimped out room serving as his new lair.

With a 'Pimp my room' strategy in place, Jeff Gunnery is confident he'll soon have the proper facilities to meet and bed hordes of women.

"You ever see a pimped out Gun room?" said the 23 year-old resident of Culver City. "This is where the bar is gonna be at, right here's where I'll put the Flat Screen, and the lamp might go here, so that the ladies think I'm sensitive and shit."

Gunnery is a 2007 graduate of Cal State Northridge, where he majored in Accounting. He has had no involvement in interior decorating till now, but is relishing every moment. "Sometimes you gotta man up, go to IKEA, and go fucking mad with the black card." Gunnery spent over nine hours and $207 dollars at the furniture store, with plans to go back after the 15th to wait for funds. Ironically, that's also when his security deposit for the Riviera is due, a brown stucco complex built in 1948. Most of the tenants are single parents living with five or more children.

"The Riv is pretty mellow, but my boys and I are gonna go throw some massive ragers in the next few weeks. One of my guys has a hookup with some girls at the Playboy mansion so we'll have them here too. If they don't show I know a girl who works for Powerade." He added a few minutes later, "She's really stacked. I'll probably hook up with her. Or her friend."

Neighbors, however, aren't so keen on Gunnery's party plans. "He said something about strippers, and poles. I don't know what that man is talking about, but if he brings that to this complex I'll just gonna kill the guy, I will." said Martin DeBrown, who resides in unit 9.

Gunnery remains unfazed.

"You like this mood lighting? Here. Check out this couch. Sit in it. It's the perfect couch. Everyone loves it. We found it in an alleyway in Venice. My boy Tiger already had sex in it. With a girl."

Explaining his strategy, Gunnery said he learned, through college, that women like clean, hygienic places. So, Gunnery has plans to employ a maid service once a month to "keep this shit under control."

"I'm a pimp, and this is my Pimpdom. Girls gotta know that this place is clean as ice. In three weeks they can eat cereal off the floor if they want to."

Gunnery is hosting a party this week at his house on Saturday Night, with beer pong starting around nine.


About the Writer

Aaron S. is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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9 comments on Bachelor ready to 'pull girls, with pimped out room'

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By Annonymous on November 28, 2007 at 11:18 am
hilarious.
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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on November 28, 2007 at 12:02 pm
This is some funny stuff here, champ! Where's that party gonna be at?
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By Aaron S. on November 28, 2007 at 03:43 pm
thanks mike! this is a comment in the review section. it made me laugh: I almost never give less than a 3, but I really hated this. What was the point? It wasnt even funny. That really made my day!!!
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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on November 28, 2007 at 06:39 pm
Hell, it was funny to me! And I still wanna go to that party! Those other people who give those bad reviews like that, they don't have a sense of humor! Keep punchin' champ!!!
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By Aaron S. on November 28, 2007 at 08:13 pm
Mike, I got another bashing. Sadly, I deleted. I think the negative comments are more satisfying than the positive ones.
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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on November 29, 2007 at 11:16 am
Jen and tonic, You like dirty rooms?? Well, come on over and I'll give ya a dirty deed done dirt cheap!
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By Alex Dezen on November 29, 2007 at 12:29 pm
Culver City is a cultural Mecca.
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By Aaron S. on November 29, 2007 at 05:37 pm
Like, Florence is a cultural Mecca? I like the word Mecca. It doesn't make enough appearances.
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By V on November 30, 2007 at 02:41 am
Funny. Never mind 'Beer-Pong.' I know that not everyone can have a pristine beach as a front yard, but this is how the bachalor lads do it back in my hometown. http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfmfuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1545711623
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