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$168 Million? No One Wants to Be Like Mike Right Now!

by Ed Attanasio (writer), San Frickin' Frisco, Baby!, November 15, 2007

Credit:

Michael Jordan Gets Slammed by Ex-Wife in Divorce Court

Michael Jordan got taken to the hoop and slammed on like never before this week when his ex-wife Juanita scored a $168 million dollar settlement. Jordan made history on the basketball court and has now done it again in a different court. A winner in life but obviously a loser in the game of love, MJ erred when he evidently didn’t make Juanita sign a pre-nuptial agreement back when the couple tied the knot in 1984.

What are these athletes and celebrities thinking about when they fail to get pre-nups? Are they crazy or just duped into thinking that their significant others won’t try to take them for everything they possibly can once the music stops? Haven’t they learned anything from the long list of victims?

And why on earth did this woman get so much? I never saw her playing for the Chicago Bulls, or doing all of the endorsements or making all the really bad animated films! I’m sorry – and I know a lot of women will disagree with me – but how is she in any way entitled to $168 million? To say that she helped him earn his money throughout the course of their marriage is laughable.

I’m not saying that Michael shouldn’t give her anything. Maybe $5 million and the house, that should be enough. But, $168 million? That’s ludicrous! And do you know who will be getting approximately 33% of that money? That’s right – the attorneys. What a joke.

Every man in the world is hurting for you right now, Michael. But, you brought this on yourself. Any chance of coming out of retirement or taking up baseball again, because I don’t think anyone is interested in making another Space Jam movie.

This appeared yesterday on Celebrity Stink at www.cinemablend.com:

Considered to be one of basketball’s greatest players ever, NBA legend Michael Jordan has agreed to pay his ex-wife Juanita, over $168 million as part of their divorce settlement, the costliest on record. It outsizes the former record-setting $156 million settlement singer Neil Diamond paid to his ex and puts the potential $64 million payoff in the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce stranded in the nosebleed seats.

Jordan and his ex are still friends since separating in September 2006. The couple married in 1984 and had three children together.

For such a potential financial bombshell, the couple kept their split relatively quiet. After attempting to reconcile, they finally agreed to divorce. She has custody of their children and continues to live on their estate outside Chicago. Even with this payoff, she is still only receiving about one third of Jordan’s entire wealth.

Jordan has held the NBA record with 10 all-time scoring records, six NBA MVP awards and six NBA championships. Even though he has not held a basketball in over four years, he continues to wow marketers with his remarkable staying power as a selling icon, catapulting him into the financial stratosphere.

Other astronomical divorce paydays have been Steven Speilberg’s divorce from actress Amy Irving with a $100 million settlement. Billionaire Revlon CEO Ron Perelman just keeps paying it out every time he changes wives: Wife No. 1 only got $8 million, but Wife No. 2, journalist Claudia Cohen $80 million, Wife No. 3 Patricia Duff $30 million and Wife No. 4, actress Ellen Barkin, $60 million. Actor Michael Douglas paid his –ex Diandra, $45 million and Titanic director James Cameron sunk Linda Hamilton with a $50 million settlement.


About the Writer

Ed Attanasio is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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1 comments on $168 Million? No One Wants to Be Like Mike Right Now!

Log In To Vote   Score: 3
By Aaron S. on November 15, 2007 at 06:22 pm
what's the problem? if she's asking for 168 million, we can assume he's got WAYYYY more cash in the bank. Definitely enough to run his basketball camp for fat kids.
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