Monday, September 24, 2018

Take This Job and Shove it, Jobs that just plain suck!


The worst jobs available to Americans

It was a quiet, dark, little watering hole on the westside. Just past the tall red leather booths, in the dim light of the faux Tiffany lamp, two guys sat next to each other at the bar sipping their Jack and 7's. They were talking in a tone that would best be described as just above a whisper. One guy's face looked like it had gone though a meat grinder and the other's was made up like a clown with a cowboy hat, complete with a bulbous red nose. Neither seemed to notice anything abnormal, as they carried on their conversation.

Pushing my diet coke to the side, I found myself leaning forward, as I attempted to grab a sentence or two out of the air from these two very unusual bar buddies. It went a little like this:

Beat-up Cowboy Clown, (Rob Smets, professional bullfighter):
"I was going up a one-way street against traffic and that bull let me know which way traffic was coming. He beat the living' hell out of me."........."What the F**· happened to you", he might have asked his obviously injured friend.

Professional Pro Sparring Partner. (Jameel McCline, pro boxer):
"Aw nothing new, just like everyday, I got beat up."

I have seen just about every episode of Mike Rowe's, "Dirty Jobs." My favorite was when Mr Rowe took on the personal job of horse semem collector. Dirty jobs they are, but not necessarily the worst jobs in America. This is about the search for the "WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU DO IT" jobs.

The above two professions, rodeo bullfighter and boxing sparring partner, were voted in the "Top 10 Worst Sports Jobs," by USA TODAY. You would have to point a gun at me, then cock it, before I would jump over any wall to intentionally face an obviously pissed-off bull or climb into a ring knowing I was there to be Mike Tyson's punching bag.. The good news is Smits has been so successful as a bullfighter that he has garnered his own sponsors ranging from motor oil to archery equipment.
As to Mr. McCain's position as a sparring partner. Conceptually it's just wrong...Let me get this right, you climb into a boxing ring and let the other guy beat the crap out of you? BUT....You had better not hurt the fella, remember, he's the one getting the multi-million dollar purse and the fame that comes with it... I'll pass. (McCline (31-4-3, 19 KOs) has escaped the sparring business, he turned pro and became a top 10 heavyweight)

Here's a couple of samples from Popular Science Magazine's, "The Worst Jobs in Science."
Included in this club sandwich of jobs not recommended was "Human Lab Rat." Pharmaceutical companies and hard-up college kids, can it get better than that? For example, last year an industry-funded University of California (at San Diego) study was pumping up student bank balances at the rate of $15 an hour. All they had to do was have the root killer and WW1 nerve agent, chloropicrin, shot into their eyes and noses. Pretty simple gig, much easier than another not to often suggested career.....How about the lofty title of "Manure Inspector." We all have read about the recent spate of E.coli outbreaks and recalls of market veggies. The facts are that farmers fertilize their fields with manure, but when the crap is crawling with E.coli, then so are the veggies. Dah Daaa...To the rescue comes the researchers at the University of Georgia Center for Food Safety, they willingly get knee deep into their work, looking for the answer to how to assure everyone that the manure of the future is "good shit". "We have to wade though a lot of poop," conceded Michael Doyle, the centers director. "If you want to get the manure, you've got to grab it."

Zm Online gave a list of the worst jobs in Rock and Roll. Listed under "crap jobs", the first example would have a normal person running to the University of Georgia, waders at their sides. ACKKKKKKKKKK...."Britney Spears hairstylist", does that make the hairs on your arm stand up. An unnamed salon owner was quoted , "Being Britney Spears hairstylist adds an element of extreme unpredictability. Her attitude is, 'I want it blond today, brown tomorrow, shave it today, back on tomorrow' Probably a good paying gig and you will get your picture in People Magazine.

It takes four years to get your college degree, then you spend another four years in medical school. Should you choose to specialize, how about another three to six years of training and maybe a year or more as an intern. Finally you are a DOCTOR.

So, when in that process did you decide that you would be a proctologist? Were you laying on the beach at midnight, contaplating the fact that we are not alone, when suddenly thought and reason rushed though your head. "I shall be a proctologist, I am going to spend my life looking up and at very sick buttholes" There isn't enough money in the world, proctology should be a sentence, decreed by a judge, not a career choice. Paul Katcher said it best, "It's like being at the ballpark, you're surrounded by assholes. Plus, no one wants to shake your hand at parties."

This profession offers the ultimate "glass ceiling", advancement is severely limited, benefits are non-existent. There are no Ira's, or medical plans. There are no paid vacations. One might get cheated out of pay, beat up or even killed. The constant threat of arrest is on the menu along with jail. Life isn't easy for the Street Prostitute. There are two pluses, the hourly pay is great and the demand continues to run high.

Some the other general professions I found in other lists.

I have always thought being a "Hot Mop" roofer in Palm Springs when it's 120 degrees at 10 am has to be the worst job in America.

Do I even need to explain why this makes the list?

According to, "Recycling workers sift through garbage to pull out salvageable recyclables; paper, glass, aluminum, tin plastic bottles, etc." For minimum wage, these lucky workers get to go arm deep in dirty diapers, dead animals, used tampons and condoms, hypo needles and rotting meat. How very cool!

Making $2000 a month if they are lucky, with "company support" at such a low level that soliders had to buy thier own body armor. Job conditions that are obivously think? It can't get any worse than this.

So there's a list taken from multiple lists. This could be a never ending article, so if you have a job description that you think deserves to be on this list, let's hear it.

About the Writer

Steven Lane is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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4 comments on Take This Job and Shove it, Jobs that just plain suck!

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By Jen on November 15, 2007 at 03:17 pm
Anything in any slaughterhouse anywhere. Having said that...I'd rather be the dude with the cleaver than the one with the mop. Its alot like "Crime Scene Cleanup" without the excellent pay. And not to one up you here, but I'd rather be the guy on top of the hot mop roof in Palm springs while its 120 degrees outside than the guy in the attic fixing the A/C.
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By Aaron S. on November 15, 2007 at 06:19 pm
It might not be the worst job, but this dude puts himself in jeopardy daily. I'm talking about the poor guy who plants the rubber safety cones on the 405 freeway before the midnight workers perform some god-knows-what road repairs. [I don't get it. Does fixing the road fix traffic somehow?)
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By Chris Jones on November 16, 2007 at 07:10 pm
When you think about how much of your life is spent working, I can't imagine being stuck in a nightmare job.
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By V on November 25, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Thank you Steve, from about 6pm on Sunday until 6pm Monday, I usually get a bad case of the Monday blues. You've definitely negated any sorry-for-myselfs this week. I really didn't know the existence of the human punching bag job. And Joseph ... enquiring about CSI clean up? Jesus, that would have to pay ALOT. What a gruesome job.
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