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Friday, November 24, 2017

Los Angeles, The City That Can Break You...Or Can It?

by Steven Blake (writer), Winnetka, November 25, 2007

The way women and men can be cold in L.A.

There was a time in my life where romance poured out of me, like a waterfall with an endless supply of water. I found the woman of my dreams at my neighbors’ wedding. It was a day of changing for me. I found myself going for a haircut in between the wedding and the dinner; just to impress this girl I had met and began what seemed to be an endless romantic tale. That was 14 years ago.

Today I am divorced and disheartened. I have not dated someone serious for any serious amount of time since my divorce ten years ago. In the beginning I thought it was me being blackened by a heart broke at such a young age. I found myself going out to the bars and flirting with anything that seemed interested. This continued on for a few years and then Columbine happened. Besides the state of me being saddened by my own problems, I lived on the street where the funerals took place for these people. I found it to be a very dark time in my life and I knew if I didn't do something, I would continue down a bad path, so I moved to Los Angeles.

Once in Los Angeles I realized that things were pretty cold here. People don't even say hi to people on the street like they do in Denver. They would look at you like what do you want and why are you bothering me. Trying to date out here? Its insane, or maybe I am insane. I am not here to bash on women or complain about my life. I am only realizing as I write this article that it takes all types to make the world go round. I sit here and I go what is wrong with these women in L.A. If they are interested in me, I find myself running away as fast as I possibly can the other direction. If I find myself interested in them, they do the same. Its a constant struggle of sorting out the "good" ones from the "bad" ones. The ones that stab their friends in the back, cheat on you, or have no set of moral values; seems to run out of control here, the unscrupulous type. Where to even begin to search for the "good" ones, who knows. Lord knows its not normally at the bar, not that it can't happen but usually does not.

Here is where it gets funny. When I moved out here the way I was lashing out didn't really change. In fact it digressed. I found myself becoming numb to it all. When people would come to me with tears and problems I would tell them they are over-dramatic. Distancing myself from feeling anything. Women were nothing more than something to satisfy my needs. My sarcasm seemed to know no boundaries. My buddy and I would walk around and laugh when someone said we were mean, we would respond with "yeah little black heart that beats like this" and then we would show a tightened fist not moving. The city had taken its toll on me and I was that guy.

I have begun to realize that people can change. I have accomplished what I set out to be...lonely and where no one could hurt me. Except I messed up, I hurt myself in the process. I find myself wanting other things now. Possibly to pick up where my heart was broken ten years ago. To begin fresh, new, and a hopeful romantic again with the courage to stand back up and fight. We must all start somewhere. I think everyone in L.A. has found themselves a little beat down at one time or another by the city and love. The goal is to keep trying and I charge you all with this: Tomorrow when you wake up and go out into the city, wish a complete stranger a good morning with a smile and hopefully they will do it also.

*This is a public service announcement brought to you by Steven Blake*


About the Writer

Steven Blake is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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11 comments on Los Angeles, The City That Can Break You...Or Can It?

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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on November 25, 2007 at 02:58 pm
Great article champ!!!!! This town blows!!!
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By Steven Blake on November 26, 2007 at 01:00 am
Thanks Mate! I think we all have to strive to make it better...Much better
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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on November 26, 2007 at 01:26 am
You punched it right on the chin, champ. All I ever do is fight, fight, and fight and I pay, pay, and pay. So where's the results?
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By Jen on November 26, 2007 at 11:37 am
I always smile and say hi to people. I care not if they look at me like Im crazy...its not really too far off the mark. But mostly they just smile and say hi back...believe it or not. All the rest? Thats why I spend so much time in my room.
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By shellbelle on November 26, 2007 at 08:13 pm
Take up Argentine Tango. Seriously. There's a lovely community of people in LA who gather every night at one place or another to dance, and to be social. Warm, genuine, open-hearted people who are exactly the sort who will say "Hello!" to a total stranger. And hug them. If you don't like the idea of dancing... well, then may you find connections in other contexts. I hope your "second wind" carries you to happier places.
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By V on November 27, 2007 at 01:19 am
I ALWAYS smile and say hello to people I pass on the street, always. When I'm not in a huge crowd that is anwyway, and I am a woman in Los Angeles. Don't give up on the kindness that exists in humanity just yet. Ron Sexsmith - Foolproof Lyrics Foolproof That's what my heart's become And I challenge anyone to break in I challenge anyone to make me open up the door Cos I've been fooled before And now I'm... Foolproof Older and wiser now And I'm never gonna fall for that old, Never gonna fall for that old Fairy tale anymore Cos I've been schooled before And cos I'm foolproof And I dare Anyone to try Not a care In the world have I As long as I am foolproof Oh no, they can't fool me Cos I've been around the block a few times Been around enough to know I'm ... Coming back for more Cos I believe that your heart is pure And cos I'm... Foolproof That's what my heart's become
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By Steven Blake on November 27, 2007 at 01:27 pm
Jen-yeah right you "always" smile-HAHAHAAHAHA-your not smiling right now Shellbelle-Thanks for well wishing and ideas, I do sometimes wonder what else there is to do. V-Thatsw an awesome song!
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By Sharlene Hardin on November 29, 2007 at 10:36 pm
Thank you for being bold enough to share your public service announcement. You know you can always count on me to say HI and smile at you. :)
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By Ivan Homeless on December 11, 2007 at 05:56 pm
It's holiday time, is your heart going to go Grinch and grow?!
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By L DeSilva-Johnson on January 24, 2008 at 01:11 pm

Hey. I know you wrote this a while back but I think it takes serious cohones to not only admit these things (ie, that we create and somehow seek our own misery, most of the time, even if it seems quite the other way around) but also to resolve to creating and finding a road out of those tendencies, temptations, etc...


Hope it's been successful thus far. I think many of us who smile at the scowling hoards can't help but waver on the line between keeping it up and saying "fuck it all" when the curve balls come our way. I commend you and squeeze your shoulder. That may sound odd but that gesture has supportive compassion locked up for me. Best to you, mate.

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By Steven Blake on January 25, 2008 at 03:55 pm

Thanks I appreciate that! Cheers Mate

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