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Monday, October 23, 2017

Gold-Diggers

by 'Mean' Mike Duffau (writer), I'm the boss!, November 12, 2007

Credit:

This is not about the gold rush of 1869 or the value of gold in the market. This is a subject matter which might be a taboo or it could be worse as a curse word. If you bring it to their attention and shine the truth on them like a spotlight you might get a dirty look or a slap. Since I'm no stranger to punches it doesn't really bother me, and a little slap isn't going to hurt me.

I don't understand why these girls get offended. It's like when you call them sluts, they get mad and tear up. If you are what you are be proud and own up to it. Plain and pure F'in simple! My testosterone level rises and the veins in my neck pop out when I see a beautiful woman strapped on to a wealthy guy whose pear shaped and balding. It's so obvious why she's with him when they pull up in a Rolls.


It's a disgrace to me when a woman has to use her looks to get what she wants rather than using her brains. Let me say to the defense of those that don't apply the methods of digging for gold. Not everybody is as lazy, but they are few.

Let me give you a prime example of a gold- digger. This gal here wrote an add to one of those dating sites. I give her balls for putting herself to the table out there. I printed this add and showed it to a few random people and got their opinion. Below is the article as follows:

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25-year-old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least [a] half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I dontt think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a businessman who makes average around 200 - 250K. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000K won't get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms.

What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings.

Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the Upper East Side so plain? I've seen really "plain Jane" boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I'v seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the East Village. What's the story there?

What jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows -- lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.

Please hold your insults -- I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them -- in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

(The response to the add was as follows:)

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party, and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub "your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity -- in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain: you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35, stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold - hence the rub -- marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following: if my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe, if you are as gorgeous as you say you are, that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout. By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Its unfortunate that so many years after the feminist movement women still see their looks as their best asset, even when they are -- "geniuses". This, it seems, is because it is STILL the asset that is best rewarded monetarily. Perhaps thats a theme for another day?
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I am also a 25 yr old woman, well educated, decently attractive and living in NYC. What I can say, from what I've seen around me and experienced is the following:


If a wealthy man is something she really wants, she has 1 of serveral options. Either marry young, before he becomes successful and when she might actually be in love, or marry an older, divorced man. Why, you ask? Because An older man who is already divorced will continue to see you as young and attractive (hence, she will not depreciate quickly), since she'll always be younger than him. It's not like he's going to do much better. The man she marries when he's young and unsuccessful -- there's a chance he might decide he wants a "younger version of you" in 20 yrs.
Of course, theres also the option of marrying a "trust fund" baby, but that comes with its own risks and challenges. Finally, the option of marrying one of the Hedge Fund millionaires. Too bad they are all coked out.


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I once had the option of money over love and chose love. Does that mean I never think about the porsche and the live in cook i could have had? No, but I know Im much happier living in my little apartment with my amore!
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This is really funny. It is more convenient to have an affair I guess than to just dump one's wife after a certain age because switching costs are high.
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What is amazing time and again, the amount of people who over value their looks. It's amazing how many people say they are better than average looking or better looking than so and so. She's overrating yourself, she needs to figure out who is the pinnacle of women and then look at the other end of some of the most hideous. So unless your name is Jessica Alba, or Rebecca Romijn, she is not as beautiful as she think she is.
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I'd rather have someone who is interesting and brings to the table something unexpected, than just the beauty quality. Who wants to wake up to a barbie doll who will need lipo, collagen injections, and face lifts when she realizes her looks are fading?
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I would probably choose a lower-maintenance wife. The potential gold digger obviously places a premium on her appearance and wonders how plainer women managed to attract wealthy men. She may spend a lot of time each day in primping, shopping for stunning clothes, exercising zealously, and eating like a bird. Those are habits annoying in a mate, and an eventual bone of contention.
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I don't hang out with the wealthy crowd, but I think most busy men like a mate who is unstressed and available, is low maintenance, and who isn't spending all of their hard-earned money on things of little lasting value.
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It all goes back to the song, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. To be happy in the things you do, get an ugly girl to marry you."
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It is nice when a guy has money, but I can make my own -- I feel it gives both the man who is with me and myself a greater ability to determine whether or not we are really a match, rather than a business deal. I fear a deal like hers would cost me my sanity.
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Gorgeous geniuses don't go around calling themselves gorgeous geniuses. She's arrogant and self centered.
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I suspect her unrealistic expectations come from the fact that her relationships are investments. The "plain" girls may not have married rich guys, they married guys with good prospects.
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No pre-nup, she gets a chunk of his assets.
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It's disappointing to see marriage offered without love. A business arrangement makes sense for the men who merely want a trophy, but a marriage should be more than fancy dining and glamorous parties.
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She is one reason divorce happens.
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Someone making 500k/year will be seeking someone that has a value/status that is at least near their own. The only person that assigns that value/status is the person making 500k/year.
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The real question she should be asking is how she can demonstrate that she has value/status equal to the dollar amount she seeks -- and the answer is she can't. The only way she can raise her status/value would be to have a college degree, have at least a decent job, and a wide social circle. Until she can match (or get near) the social, intellectual, economic (and possibly spiritual) status/value of someone making that kind of money, she will never get one.
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I am probably overstating things to call myself average attractiveness, but I have discovered that there is a world of male gold diggers out there. As a female doctor, I have experienced everything from the guy who told me on the second date that he would stop working and stay home with our kids to the guy who wanted to date me UNTIL he found out that I was a doctor and not the temp that I claimed to be (It was a social experiment gone horribly wrong- don't judge me too much).
The solution? I married a doctor.
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To the "Gold-Digger"

1) Good genes don't go bad over time, but ovaries do

Though GD's beauty might fade over time, if there is a reasonable amount of time to have children with her (she is only 25), those genes can be passed on and his genes' "economic" impulses will be satisfied. If fading beauty is the only criterion for mate selection, marriage would never occur (I've not yet met a woman whose beauty would never fade).

2) A man can be tricked into raising another man's children

The key aspect that the GD is forgetting is that men do not use good genes as the sole determinate of mate fitness. Because the female reproductive psychology/biology is geared toward the POTENTIAL for a woman to have her long-term partner raise her extramarital lover's baby, he must first figure out if she just wants his support, or his support AND his genes.

GD's mindset is just screaming "extramarital affair." Once she is in possession of a rich man's support, there is nothing to deter her from seeking the genes of another man and having her husband raise another man's child.
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If she's overestimating these qualities, why wouldn't she overestimate her looks? Either way, she's apparently looking for a mate in a class of people who don't consider her worth it; even if she snags one of them, he'd be overwhelmingly likely to trade her in for a newer model in a few years.
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What ever happened to "for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, until death do us part"?
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Did I want a woman who was only interested in my "success" appeal? What if for some reason I could no longer keep her in the style to which she had become accustomed? Would she leave me and take me for everything that I had? Or maybe trade up for a better model?
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My Dad taught me an important lesson early on. Most people who marry for money usually earn every penny of it.
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In any case, my suggestion for women who want to find and marry rich guys is to find them:
- at school
- at work
- through family and/or friends

I would suggest that the woman is not not in a position to do any of the above, and thus is starting two steps back in the competition for such guys as compared to the women who do get them, regardless of looks.
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I think if this woman is as hot as she says she is, she should just find a married man with a lot of money (but make sure that he is the "nice" guy who wouldn't want to destroy his family in ANY way), have a few romantic weekends and then threaten to tell his wife and kids if he doesn't pay her a certain amount of money. And then repeat!
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Any man who feels like he has to pay for it has got to have very low self esteem. The money is supposed to compensate for all of his flaws. He pays her to overlook the fact that he is old, short, fat, bald, divorced, alcoholic, etc.
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Want to know where all the rich guys hang out? Meet me at Gray's Papaya. If you have a problem with hotdogs, then maybe she's not the girl for me.
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Women don't want to be seen as gold diggers. Men don'™t want to be seen as only being attracted by appearances. This young lady just blew away all the silly pretenses we go through and got to the heart of the matter. She wants a man who can support her in the manner to which she would like to become accustomed. In exchange, she is willing to make him look good at parties.
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From my point of view, as a woman, she's grade A material. Even if she isn' the hottest young woman in town. She beats the rest by a mile for her frankness and honesty, both of which are traits this society undervalues dramatically.
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It reaffirms what I truly believe... ALL WOMEN ARE BASICALLY PROSTITUTES.
(Ouch!)

As far as myself... I don't know nothing about the easy way to make bread. I'm an honest worker and I trade in large amounts of sweat for my hard earned pay. No dame is going to dig in my pot of gold without me knowing about it!

I went out with this broad who reminded me of Blanche from the film 'A Streetcar Named Desire'. She wanted the finer things that money can buy. The only way she would go out with me is taking her to eat lobster and steak for dinner, and then end the night by going to the opera. I agreed... When I picked her up we ended up going to the nearest AMC flick, and went to Jack in the Box for dinner. Mind you she had a blast being with me so much that I was giving a special reward...

Lets face it we all have some sort of cash to spend. Some have more than others, but don't get greedy and dig for more. "I have a couple of bucks in my pocket, lets go out!"

I didn't need to fork out hundreds of dollars to have a good time with a hot babe. Pleasure is cheap!

You want to know my secret? It's because 'I can love you long time.'



About the Writer

'Mean' Mike Duffau is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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10 comments on Gold-Diggers

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By icanluvulongtime on November 12, 2007 at 09:44 am
Best line in the piece; "Most people who marry for money usually earn every penny of it" that is some wise father and some even wiser son. Funny, funny, funny but true sh*t! Thanks for the dedication.
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By Jen on November 12, 2007 at 02:45 pm
Some dames just dont get it. Then again...neither do the schmucks that keep rewarding beauty over substance. Not a huge fan of the cut and paste comments. Could have been summarized/condensed in your own words...probably lending greater humor to the piece. Otherwise...nice work on the parts that you wrote!
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By Sharlene Hardin on December 04, 2007 at 02:07 pm
I agree with Jen&Tonic about the male trend too. My ex-husband said he felt emasculated by the fact that I made significantly more money than he did, yet He was the one to joke with his buddies about me being his SUGAR MAMA. It's really disheartening to see the way certain members of society continue to support economic status as a primary marital objective.
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By Starbourne on December 06, 2007 at 11:38 pm
O' please..Dig on Ladies ! Get that money...
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By Lois on January 03, 2008 at 06:03 pm
I'm with Starbourne on this one.
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By Lucy Ong on January 05, 2009 at 05:36 pm
I hope this is only a tongue-in-cheek rip-off of The Economics of Gold-Digging, by Steven D. Levitt.

http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/09/the-economics-of-gold-digging/

That aside, there seems to be an increase in gold-digging men, although gold-digging men are not something new, look at Nathaniel Branden and Ayn Rand, 25 years his senior, “By feeding her grandiosity from the day we met.”

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By taking off the mask on January 05, 2011 at 01:15 am

wow she is honest, I find it sad that she only values herself as an investment. She not once mentioned she wanted him to be kind or gentle, just rich. I hope I never have that way of thinking.

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By MarriedToAnArtifact on October 01, 2011 at 10:52 pm

She may well fine her wealthy old man. I know I found mine or rather he found me. I am a big asset to my husbands company. I find and nego his contracts, without me he has zero business BUT. People like him are sly and savvy. They're expert liars (been at it a long time and had plenty of practise!) and know how to hide whatever money you make as a couple. Or even worse, put all the property you buy in his kids name from his first marriage. He has back to back contracts with them that they're holding it for him, but you'll never see these. On paper he looks penniless! What you will be told and what will be told about you is that you are a gold digger and hence it does not matter what you bring to the marriage, you are not entitled to it... (Of course its BS!). Then when you leave, you take all those business opportunities with you... Awwwwwwww... and Mr Artifact will have to find someone else to do our job. I really feel for the late Princess Diana. Ive been there, married to an old foegy because someone thought that you'd be a perfect match, only to find out he has a girlfriend that is not only old and wrinkled but also somebody's wife!!! Just laugh and forget the idea of marrying rich and old. Marry rich and young I SAY!

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By LMAO on January 07, 2013 at 04:35 pm

In times like this hold on to your money!! Travel.. enjoy many 25 year old girls... When you burn out on one move onto the other ... If she is looking for a business deal she had better bring something more than her 25 year old looks to the negotiation table. If you make 500 + a year I am sure you already know that... Good Luck GD

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By Credo on October 16, 2013 at 07:14 pm

It all goes back to the song, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. To be happy in the things you do, get an ugly girl to marry you."

You got many of the old quotes all together stuffed and shined.

Well done Champ...

:)Credo

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