The Cannibal Song
(to Row, Row, Row Your Boat)
Stir, stir, stir the soup
Taste it with a spoon
Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy
Hope she'll be done soon.
Shame on me for criticizing the construction of Mr. Bush's bazillion dollar border wall along the Mexican border. I publicly apologize, how was I to know that we faced the danger of being overrun with Cannibalistic Mexican Writers. Ack, shades of 28 days later!
For the uninformed, on October 5, 2007, an aspiring Mexican horror novelist, Jose Luis Calva, was arrested after the cops found his girlfriend's torso in his closet, a leg in the refrigerator and bones in a cereal box. Calva has admitted killing Alejandra Galeana while trying to control the girl during a violent argument. You gotta believe me, it was an accident! Police also believe that he killed and dismembered two previous girlfriends but have not charged him for those crimes. Calva told police he was a writer and a poet. Police found a draft of a novel titled "Cannibalistic Instincts" in his apartment.
Sniff, sniff sniff the meat
Salt it like you should
Tasty, tasty, tasty, tasty
Humans taste so good
"He killed her because he was high on cocaine," said defence lawyer Humberto Guerrero Plata. "He didn't eat her, he just cut her body up." Hey, I was willing to accept that explanation, where's the love, we all make mistakes. But..............
Slurp, slurp, slurp it down
Never get enough
Hope we trap more humans soon
We're crazy 'bout this stuff.
Calva, 38, told police that he cooked the flesh in order to feed it to neighborhood dogs. Problem is, that the city coroner Rodolfo Rojo has described how Calva carefully separated and deboned Galeana's arm. Chunks of flesh seasoned with lime juice were found in a frying pan in the man's apartment. Oh, those are some lucky dogs. The picture of Anthony Hopkins hanging on Calva's living room wall might have been a tip off.
Whew, phew, burp, I'm full
Think I'm going to pop
Phooey, phooey, phooey, phooey
Guess I'll have to stop.
Looking to see if this was a trend, I did some research and found another story. Dated December 16, 2004, the headline screams, "GAY MEXICAN CANNIBALS." (Reuters) Seems that a Mexican man killed his lover in a drunken, drugged fight then cooked the man's body in tomato and onion sauce and ate it over three days.
Gosh, darn, golly gee
Wish it wasn't so
Oh, well, what the heck
Pass me one more toe.
Other than the story itself, I found the headlines from major news sources very interesting, a few examples.
"Mexican Cannibal Suspect: Girlfriends Death an Accident."
"Mexican 'cannibal" refuses to make a plea."
"Gay Mexican Cannibals."
"Mexico, "The Cannibal Poet."
"Mexican Author Killed, Then Ate Girlfriend."
There were many others that just heralded the story without the "Mexican" angle so profoundly pronounced.
Two cannibals were leaning against the outhouse, when one said to the other, "HEY, I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD, I JUST DUMPED MY GIRLFRIEND." ....... Ouch!
Newsweek, MSNBC, NINE MSN, Reuters
The Cannibal Song (Uncredited)
LEISURE - CELEBRITIES
Copyright © 2010 Steven Lane
Mexican Horror Writer eats Girlfriend
Copyright © 2010 Steven Lane
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