Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Out of Touch or...

by freak4president (writer), Atlanta, GA, October 19, 2007

...maybe you're just a bad parent?

I was sitting, having a great meal and a couple that one of my peoples knew came over. They small talked and b.s'd for a while and then the female started complaining about her child wanting to play the latest video games (Medal of Honor, Grand Theft Auto series, etc.) and how she didn't want to expose him to that or certain movies for fear that he'd become some sort of sociopath. Anyone who knows me, knows that I was smiling and nodding and what have you, but had I been the ill-mannered cur that I wanted to be and had the capacity to break etiquette and say what was on my mind, I would have but since I that wasn't an option I'll tell you what I was thinking.... which was...

"Look, lady....while I can understand how you could be so very misinformed and/or ignorant to want to shelter your child, but, should you continue to coddle your kid, he is going to end up like a local politician, caught giving and/or receiving head in a bus station restroom stall.

Maybe, instead of perpetuating the tradition of sticking his head in the sand, passed down from ostrich to ostrich in your family, why don't you do something completely foreign and possibly quite novel and sit down and tell your kid what's real and what's not. It's called parenting. Grab a pen to take notes.....I'll wait.

Okay, time for Parenting 101. If your kid tries to cross a busy highway because he played a game of Frogger and thought that it'd be fun and dies, it's not an accident, it's not vehicular homicide....your kid will have died of stupidity and you'd be the direct cause....get ready for the electric chair in the State of NthROPY, there Mommie Dearest.

You are so beyond diluded if you think that hiding your kid from the world completely will help them not to be a psycho....I've met people who came from 'perfect families' and they ended up THE MOST fucked up people that I know, which is really saying something. The more dangerous thing is releasing a teenager or anyone else off into a society that they are not ready for. Look at preacher daughters....(goodness knows I used to) on the average they are freaks for absolutely no reason, except that they had it pounded into them (no pun intended, although, very funny) that sex is bad and not to party and to be virtuous and then, once they get out around people, they lose their minds. YOU try peeling a preachers daughter off of you at their first party or any other event where you end up 'making out''s easier to talk a Muslim into having a pork chop.

Then, there are the parents who whine and bitch and moan that movies and TV have too much sexuality and are too violent. You know what, Corky? The world is overtly sexual and very violent, have you ever walked around New York after can see sex and violence everywhere if you look close enough... shit, on the right night you may catch a glimpse of a junkie sodomizing a mugger, that's the extra value meal. What I was trying to say before going of on my bum-boned larcenist tangent, is that you absolutely have to get your children prepared for these things in life. Not saying that you sit with the kids at 3 and start telling him about S&M, but, when your kid asks questions answer them honestly and clinically, so they don't get, THAT would be awkward. Tell Little Sparky the facts and don't let him learn the birds and the bees from the morons who are just as uninformed as him as they regale him with tales that if you rub your nub against her thigh, that's where babies come from, or that if she hangs upside down after she won't get pregnant. That's how these naive children of ignorance end up at the abortion clinic, or, the kid is born and ends up in the endless cycle of orphanages and foster homes before they end up robbing an INconvience store for all the Spam and nudie mags.

I'm not saying to give your kids guns (anymore than they are already have) and/or porn or anything ,but to tell you honestly, I'd rather have 'the talk' that way with my son. 'Here you go kid, ' I'd say as I hand him some nice non-objectifying softcore porn. It'll teach him romance, give him a general idea of the mechanics AND if he hasn't already discovered masterbation it'll get that one out of the way too. I'll be just waiting on the couch, watching the game, like a disinterested tour guide at Disneyworld, I'll put the attraction in front of you and I'm not getting involved until you come to me with a question....and the question better be asked fully dressed or else your day at the park is over.

But, again, I digress (good at it, aren't I?)....What I'm really afraid of are these children whose parent let them have nothing but pong or brick attack or whatever the hell that's called. Imagine being in a situation where you're being shot at and you and him are pinned behind some cover and your assailants are shooting from behind a brick wall and this sloping forehead-having, slack-jawed moron says, 'I'll get us out of this, man', and pulls from his bag a bunch of tennis balls and throw them honestly expecting them to bust through. Now that.....THAT is truly scary, someone completely out of touch with what reality is and that is EXACTLY what we have walking among us everyday. You nervous yet?

Basically, all I'm saying is that, we can't depend on the television or the video games or anything else to instruct our children. We have to step up and stop being punk-ass parents and tell our kids what's real and what isn't. It's your job as a parent to have the uncomfortable conversations with your kids so that the cops, or the judge, or a doctor doesn't have to have an even more fucked up conversation with them when they get older.

Get YOUR mind right and your children will end up alright."


About the Writer

freak4president is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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