Friday, September 21, 2018

Symmetrical Companions


In a couple of my articles I made reference to dating models. Messages have been flying my way spanning the spectrum from insulted models accusing me of being a “model hater” to the jealous guy stating; “Dude, hook me up with one. No, two.” and everything in between. I do date models. Mostly because I can, but also because I like to have a date that makes sure we are color coordinated and I like to have a mirror available at all times. Models will usually make sure to ask “what are you wearing” so that we match, and to bring along some great mirrors, so that works for me. She will also throw in an adorable smile that she has practiced (in the aforementioned mirrors) and a few hair tosses. I like predictability so she is free to smile and hair toss all night long. She is guaranteed to have scored a “Q & A online interview” where she encourages guys to “just be yourself” and “come up and say ‘hi!’ I’d love to meet you!” and (my fav) “brains and a good sense of humor are so much more important than looks”, which is of course a bold faced lie.

Models date me mostly because they have developed a keen sense of smell for money, ( I have some) I am decent looking and have the required Armani suits. Plus, they don’t have to worry about conversation. I don’t say much and they talk a lot. About themselves.

There are men who write about models, claiming that true beauty is really about symmetry and grace, but those guys have never dated ANYONE so I’m not buying that theory. No, it’s pretty much of an agreement to have someone decent to see and be seen with and it works for us both of us, so that’s why we do it. That and, they almost always have sex with you even if it turns out to be the kind that Bill Clinton claims “doesn’t really count”.

During my model dating experiences I have discovered one peculiar thing, however. Models are NEVER where they want to be. They want a perfect body and if they think they are close enough then they start doing trade shows, after the trade shows they want to get into cyber and when they accomplish that they want runway, runway girls want publications, publications want covers, covers want to act. Actors on stage want a tv series, series women want movies and the 1/400th of 1 percent who get movies want to direct and be desired for more than their perfect body. Huh? NEVER have I heard a model say, “I’ve been in a fashion event, published in a catalog and acted in a play. I’m happy and I’m done.” Never. It’s kind of like the stripper who works the pole until she can get tuition for school, or plastic surgery or enough money to get custody of her kid. The motivation changes but is never obtained. Not that I’m comparing models to strippers..... no not really. Except that they both usually have symmetrically pleasing proportions which they get paid for displaying. That - and you never have to worry about having to make much conversation with either one.

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icanluvulongtime is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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2 comments on Symmetrical Companions

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By icanluvulongtime on October 17, 2007 at 05:37 pm
LOL that's awesome. and ur not a model either. Love it!
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By icanluvulongtime on October 18, 2007 at 05:15 pm
Hey anonymous.... You are cute as hell and I bet looking to get out of modeling by becoming a writer..... or mortage broker in bev hills or whatever else? Maybe the 30th bday is fast approaching? ;) Listen, I DON'T date models anymore cause I am engaged to a really great lady who cracked up at the line "I Can Love You Long Time" in a song. That's where the "handle" came from and it's a joke. The article about dating models is old.....and was published a while ago. I just copied and pasted here cause I thought there may be some people who got a kick out of it, and understood that it was funny. DO keep making comments sweetheart. They are a hoot!
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