Tuesday, August 14, 2018

The C word

by Stephanie Michele (writer), Venice, October 22, 2006

Credit: istock
Love me long time.

Thinking about the benefits of commitment.

Before I induce a Sesame Street flashback or a dirty dialog fantasy, I want everyone to know I am not going to talk about either one of those C words. My C word comes with this alert - Warning: Side effects from discussing this word are sweaty palms, dry mouth, nausea and withdrawal from general activities, may also lead to chronic avoidance syndrome.

My C word is commitment. I will be the first to admit, a little fear does creep in when I think about it. I even struggled committing to write this article. Commitment of any kind is not easy, it does not allow you to be lazy or selfish and it often pushes us into unknown territories where there are no guaranties the commitment will be worth it or not. It is a gamble. Or is it?

Have you heard this expression? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. How many habitual patterns do we all have? How many times have we started a relationship based on bar chemistry only to be disappointed and confused when it ends? Have we ended a friendship to start another that ends in the same way? Have we left a job in hopes that a new job will be the answer to all of our problems only to find out that the problems exist there too? We live in a culture that promotes greener pastures on the other side, how can we believe anything else? What is the reason to stick anything out?

Growth is the reason. It is extremely hard to learn, succeed and thrive past existing to keep up when we are stuck on our hamster wheel completely unaware of what is happening outside our cage. How do other people think? What makes someone successful? How do they overcome failure and their fears? Most of the time it takes more than just hearing someone speak about their experiences; you have to feel it through exposure. You have to see it in their actions. Both of these require depth, depth that comes through a committed relationship where conflict resolution is used to understand and not used to prove why spinning on a hamster wheel works. This type of relationship requires a lot of trust, trust that can only come from an investment of time and compassion. Expecting trust to come easy in a relationship is like trying to draw $100,000 out of a closed bank account, it doesn’t work unless you work to put money in the account in the first place.

Last week Del Taco announced that 27-year company veteran, Shirlene Lopez has been named president of the Mexican quick serve chain. Del Taco has over 400 locations; being president of such a large company is not too shabby for woman who started sweeping floors for the same company when she was fourteen years old, now at 41, Lopez is running the company. She also met her husband through her work with Del Taco. I can't imagine she knew at fourteen that her commitment would pay off but she worked hard, she continued to learn and master new positions until she earned the top spot. It is an impressive act of commitment in any measure but certainly one in today's culture of job and relationship hopping.

Can I assure anyone making a commitment is going to guaranty certain results? No, I can't but I do believe there are unbelievable amounts of rewards for doing so. There is gain through the pain. The greatest myth about commitment is it requires the loss of personal freedom; however the truth is trust allows you to be free. - Trust that comes from a personal commitment to grow and commit to long term relationships.

About the Writer

Stephanie Michele is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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1 comments on The C word

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By Eddy E on October 22, 2006 at 10:03 pm
The Japanese know this all too well--they are committed to their jobs, their spouses, their children, etc... They do have their fair share of problems, but for a country that 50 years ago was dust, I'm pretty sure that's a strong reason why they have grown and succeeded so well!
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