WHAT IS THIS THING CALLED LOVE? RIGINAL.
Mate of mine...actually not a mate, more of a foot constantly in mouth, is wrapped in a person. Someone special. Someone sensitive, It's true,you can't take back what you say or do whether in jest or serious.
Whether administered by a feather like comment of passion or a jealous type sledge hammer blow of anger that makes you want to use that sledge hammer on yourself at the end of the day...or night, when doubts and fears lurk free in the subconscious,real or imagined. Unchained.
One thing in a guy's favor whether drunk or not (children and drunks tell the truth remember) he usually if he really loves that person he has hurt, he may have administered the blow initially out of frustration, but usually more often than not he's left holding the baby of regret. Howling not with rage, but the pain of trying to apologize. We've all been there and continue to do so.
This mate of circumstance hoof hides somewhat behind humor, like some women hide their grief about a broken relationship, personal, one shouldn't tread there. But my hefty clod hopping mate did. Excuse? Sheer frustration. How do you start with a relationship which doesn't exist by phone, LP visual, just cold unresponsive email that really doesn't convey anything but flat cold rhetoric and that's why i don't communicate on 'match up' bullshit on mostly scam dating "wham bam thank you maam" dating sites. Not always...correct me if i'm wrong...your 'maam' might be like the one i'm chasing. So cute...highly sensitive and intelligent. Smart beyond my cognitive. She could have anyone she desired. Some women have that persona. That goodness.
Some just like to stuff guys around and vice versa with the emphasis on vice. Whatever turns two or more people on i guess.In today's flighty love/quick flit sexual paradise? I'm just an ordinary guy, bit crazy i guess, but who would like to step forward and judge me by their own personal "i'm sane" criteria? See, ummm, i hurt this person purely because i don't really know how she feels about me. I don't want her as a friend...i want her. It's not sex related as such. It's not a con job, con jobs are for gutless thieves of human emotion and no matter how beautiful or good looking the scenario of a relationship is, the money involved... compatibility/respect long term is the key to a successful union. PLUS the availability of the in- laws looking after the kids for the night? To reaffirm caring. Am i wrong? :>)
Anyway, i went to this club to try and alleviate my feelings for her. Con on perhaps to a one night stand. There was/whirr a few women half wacked. Put whatever connotation on it you like. We're adults aren't we? Or grown up kids with childish imprint which comes to the fore when 'social' comes to play emotional wise. Don't know many in town here, diabetic girl all over me cos we talk insulin and sugar levels. No emotional level. I got pissed, stood straight against the bar because that's what bars are for.
Support. This security lady comes up. I wasn't staggering. The only thing staggering these days in clubs and bars is the price of drinks. Therefore impossible to stagger if you're a working man or such. Best to put a small bottle of spirit in your handbag if you're a male...or if you're female ask for a sip? The security lady smiled at me, about 4 teeth missing. She would have been 50 i guess. A good figure if a little plump, but obviously her husband loved her...nine kids in total. Through two marriages. We had a great conversation...i love people, they are the best things to converse with. We got on like a house on fire. She was in the midst of telling me how much she loved her husband.
All of a sudden tears started rolling down my cheeks. Jesus! I'm a man for Christ's sake! Things happened as a kid that perpetuated this teary thing but mostly i can contain it. It was dark and i turned away. Hoping she wouldn't notice...see grown men don't cry...they can't , not allowed...society demands it. Love? Jury's out? "Why are you crying?" Shit! "i love a woman and i don't think she cares and i hurt her feelings..." "That's a great recipe for disaster!" She reached over and brushed my face. "Shit! aren't you the emotional type! Why don't you go see her and apologize?" "Canada is a bit far by foot but i offered her a return ticket." "What's the problem?" " I can't even talk to her or talk her into ringing me...what to do?"
"Do you love her?" " "Does a duck love water?" "Shit, you've got it bad...maybe she'll forgive you intruding on her private zone" "Hope so. I don't know. First woman who has ever made me jealous this Canadian girl. Prepared to give her everything i've got which aint much...what's a heart worth these days?" My idea of a great night out? Sitting with someone i love. Watching a movie she likes. Holding her so tight she gasps...i don't want much out of life. What do you want? And if some bastard says "a cheap essay service" what hope is there? Forgive me B, Mel can you contact her and tell her how i feel ...like the security lady with missing teeth, heart of gold...nine kids...you know how i feel. Yeah...grown men cry. In private. Some fool themselves...but then they haven't met a lady heart breaker. Then the cynical sneer will relinquish and maybe you'll get a phone call from a lady saying,"how much do you love me...can you mend my heart...are you willing to try?" "Yeah...i'm up for it...try me!" Some guys don't give up. And don't bullshit me fellas someone hasn't wrenched you emotionally. Forget about physical. That's short term crap. :>) What's in your heart of hearts? Afraid? Rang a tearful friend's missus. She was pissed that her partner,likes port and can't let his soft side out of the cage unless pissed likewise. "He rang up crying drunk,,,telling me how much he loves me..." what does it take to motive,engage your inner self? Sex, money, new car, face lift, CEO of an essay site, President of the U.S.A. ? Highly paid bullshit artist with a big boobed glamorous societal missus leaning with her new tits all over an ice man?
Bullshit. Give me a highly intelligent sensitive woman who has forgiven me for treading on her emotional private. Waiting for a phone call girl. Yeah...i'm crazy...crazy enough to think i can one day sit with my arm around you and protect you from the bullshit an intelligent sensitive lady shouldn't have to put up with. And i won't break your heart. Got a phone call. Bloody solar panel guy. Anyone want to sit watching a 'b' grade movie with a solar panel guy? Don't answer...your missus might kick you where the sun don't shine. And stuff you stinking essay services...parasites according to a friend of mine Shane Joseph who could write you guys into oblivion. Might have to ask him how to write an apology note and a 'how to' marry a woman elusive? Butterflies can do that to a guy. Specially on the net? Cheers...is that a tear inside emotional...:>)