STEW OVER THE WORLD'S SHORTEST EYE CONTACT LOVE STORY. riginal.
THE SCENE: A butcher's shop in Instantcowbull. Sawdust strewn floor. Enter two meat workers. Morning coffee. Table with a simmering pot.Though shy the both had the hots for each other. Their chops were close. Their lips pursed. He trembled. She trembled. He touched her flank, she flexed her hindquarters, spare ribs sighed. It was inevitable. He rolled his cow eyes at her. She rolled her cow eyes at him. Their eyes met across the floor. They quivered in anticipation. Their eyes entwined in sawdust. He couldn't take his eyes off hers. They were fixated. Impregnated with sawdust and unable to part. Stuck with a passion which made them inseparable.
They sighed and rolled together caring not who sawed them. Both spent, he lusted again, she closed her eye in disapproval. He opened her eye. Whispered softly. "i love you and i can tell from your frown... we may never cross the eyes and T's again. Will you marinate together, crumb join with me until eye do us part?" "She murmured back "i stew."
Such a sad way to meat but a sadder way to part. Suffice to say the eyes had had it. A boiling romance which prompted the female butcher to sigh, they touched cleavers. Back to work. She giggled, wiped gravy off her chin. "Next, a Fry day?" His blood boiled. "i...i, shall so sawdustly miss you til then." Of all the places to meat, Instantcowball is the place to get an eyeful Chopin' above board. Some peas and quiet please. Rest in pieces. Unless of course you're a vegetarian on a good celery and nuts about your partner. But that begs the question. How often do vegetarians share a passion...fruit? Does their blender cup runneth over? Do Cabbage Patch dolls embrace in the moonlight? Would a munch on a carrot be better for the eyes? :>)