HOW MANY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL DUE TO MENOPAUSE: PERIOD? RIGINAL.
Just wondering. A guy i didn't know who looked worried a tad unloaded on me in the street the other day. I have that 'confiding' type of demeanor. Stray dogs lift their legs on me secure in the knowledge i will lift their spirits. Or maybe it's just a relief to find someone standing still long enough to piss on...sorry, list on?
Menopausal bees land on me all the time. I flick them off quickly because the sting in their tale once deposited renders them deceased...just like the sting goes out of relationships. The twin Peaks of exasperation. Wail and wane.
Poor guy, aussie; was lamenting the fact that basically his Asian wife he loved dearly for the betterment of descript, didn't, or wasn't, interested remotely in 'engaging.'
She was of menopausal age from what he was alluding so i let him talk himself out. I then mentioned she might be a candidate for the letter after L. "M mmm" he scratched his chin.
His daughter possessed the 'fifty shades of mental disturbance' my daught suffers from...same M.O. Knife wielding, plus his girl the extra drug dabbling "the world owes me a living and i'm going to be this way and you just try to stop me cause i'll even stuff your marriage if i want to...so there!" Been their, done that. His daughter too, believed taking meds was for people out of control. Whereas she thought she had a handle on everything...including the knife no doubt!
See, it was his daughter from a previous marriage and she used to threaten his Asian wife who one night had enough and threatened the daughter with a knife out of sheer desperation as a token, "how do you like being threatened?" The daughter off or on perhaps some substance rang and manipulated the attending police as they do. The police handcuffed the wife and took her away.
I said to the guy "yeah, they're great little actors and know the full gambit of lying...becomes second nature. Incidently, people i talk to in the street on occasion when i can get away from the dogs' "please stand still you're spoiling my aim" variety, seem to complement aimless bewildered persons, one out of four increasingly nonplussed with kids refusing to behave whatever the reason. Too much saturated sugar? Who knows? People who are supposed to, can't seem to fathom it?
One lady i spoke to lost three daughters who committed suicide with similar problems but that's another story. Tragic.
I said to the bewildered guy, "that episode in itself, the conflict would cause a rift perhaps, and maybe it built up resentment over a period of time and perhaps the missus is going through a belated menopause compounding the whole saga?"
He agreed. He then went on to say how much he loved her despite the current situation, her wanting a divorce...plus the usual, "i'll be left with little." That little dollar demon in the waiting room of 'failed relationship' in itself, a consternation the average working guy newly divorced and his missus contending with is the monetary straw that breaks the back of a 'no win' situation.
"Listen man take her out to dinner buy her a bunch of flowers, try to get some sort of understanding and perhaps take her to a doctor and or counseling which can or sometimes, doesn't work." Depending on the depth of the communication i guess. Though i'm no expert by any stretch of the imagination. "How was your bed relationship prior this latest consternation?"
I had to admire the guy. He said "really good." No probs. He grimaced and continued. "In fact one night the missus, although not a a drinker, got on the turps, (an expression of drink imbibe but you knew that!) got extremely piddled...(by the sound of it way past those dogs that annoy me) and i could have done anything with her i wanted to as she was 'wanting.' " Instead the well brought up guy put her to bed,tucked her in. In the morning she turned to him bleary- eyed, "thank you for not taking advantage of my state and respecting me." Some may disagree. With that mindset hope they can reconcile. The daughter? God knows?
Decent guy. We talked about cars as he said he'd have to get one and probably have to sleep in it. Told him to try his best to stay a 'couple.' He grinned. "Mate i'm so glad i unloaded on you i feel so much better." We shook hands, he hopped into his mate's car waved.
I'll never forget re menopause how my sister's daughter was in with my missus driving a long time back just diagnosed with same, how she screamed and demanded that my missus run a person that cut her off...off the road. Screaming and yelling. My missus just coasted through hers. My daughter made up for her though. Nuff sad said. I'm glad i'm not a woman, they have to put up with so much bodily change, emotion, pot belly stove hubs wearing 'past their change wear' smelly socks, unaware? Why is it called menopause? How bout woman...pause? And i have brought this up before also, why can't there be a 'male' box and a 'female' box in an effort to create a level 'box' playing field?
Have a reasonably good, if you can, menopausal day girls, there's some decent understanding husbands out there. What do you mean..."bring one round?" Take care, have a headache free day.:>)
PS: There's no moral? Ummm..."drink and be Mary? But at the end of the day 'be' Mary, try to think of what she could be worried about..plus listen and show a bit of respect. At least listen to her as long as you can keep your eyes open...she may just be satisified with a replica hug...or an U.K. essay on why you care for her and the kids so much? Save your money. Bunch of roses, short scribbled note. "Wish these petals were gold but if they were they would still not have the value i place upon the stem of my love for you. XXX" OUCH! not given in bed for God's sake! Are you mad! :>)
Let me know how you go. :>)