I am sure that most everyone reading this knows what it feels like to have failed at something. To be in the pits, looking up, wondering if you have the courage and strength to pick yourself up and begin again. You may think what I am about to say is a bit " out there.".."off the wall."
Okay, I am going to say it anyway. What I am most grateful for in my life are the times I totally messed up. When I was in a place that felt like I was engulfed by darkness, and could not see any reason to push on. Yes, I have been there many times. Probably more than I can even count. But bear in mind I am older and have lived a lot of life.
It is interesting to me particularly because I worked as a life coach and people often assumed I should know it all, have all the answers, be able to tell them what they needed to do to fix everything that was wrong it their life. No, sorry, I can not do that for them. What I will try to do...(and yes I mean try)...is help you find the answers yourself. Because to assume what worked for me will work for you is arrogant. You are you, I am me, and we all are different. There are a few universal answers. A few , yes...and perhaps I will write on that sometime, but today my focus is not that.
What do you think failure is, and do you think it is totally a bad thing? Or is there even such a thing as failure.? Personally, I do not think failure exists. In any situation there is ALWAYS something positive that you can learn from it. Even if it is as simple as never do that again. Mother Nature, well that is a whole different subject, but I am not including that is my analogy here.
If I have been able to help others through sharing what I have lived through, felt, done, learned from, this is the most valuable thing I feel I can offer you. The honesty and vulnerability to open myself to you and allow you to see my flaws, or strengths, whichever way you choose to look at it. If you are going to say to me that you do not think you can go on, that life is so unfair, that you have nothing left to fight with, I will always tell you I understand, but you are much stronger than you may know. God never gives us more than we can deal with. The expression when you are at the end of your rope tie a knot in it and hold on comes to mind here.
To me giving up is not even an option. Letting go and moving on is. When you know you have given all you can, and no longer have the will to keep beating a dead horse, well, you have reached the limit of your tolerance and the reality is that you may not be able to do it on your own, if the other person is not also working towards the same goal.
Understanding this, and accepting this is the challenge. I think I have held on too long at times in my life. Maybe because I am stubborn. Or perhaps it is the idealist in me that always thinks whatever the issue is , there is a solution.
Sometimes though, there is no solution that you may be able to agree on, and you just have to face that reality.
Failures, if there is such a thing, ( I prefer to call them lessons ) are our greatest teachers , in my humble opinion. Perhaps what you think at the time is a loss, will take you in the direction of the road you are meant to pursue. Have faith, and never give up.
Copyright © 2012 Barbara MacDonald