Friday, January 18, 2019


by riginal (writer), moe australia, April 04, 2015

The country of Pain is there to let you know when you're ready to jump the fence in agony: your dentist is waiting to excavate your root canal.


Dr.Living Stone Chip here. I have been living in the remote area bordering Pain for nigh on ten years. I now have no vet dental care left due to the fact the nearest vet/dentist one hundred feet away suddenly withdrew his "i am withdrawing my shingle because i was bitten by a toothless Tiger. Rather, sucked, to be exact"-signage. Actually when i managed to pull the striped intruder off the poor man he had just dried his shingle 'removal' sign in preparation to unscrewing it.

Before i go any further, i'll just put a band aid on the Tiger, it cut its gum on a melted branch when it whirled around in an attempt to claw, or possibly, blow me a suck. Perhaps in afterthought, deliver a sucking blow? Tigers get very very angry when you come between their gum dentist, painful gums, or dry sock it! If you have a toothache and can't afford treatment please don't send an email to Pain's former- now de shingled-ruffled, one- and- only severely sucked limping upset dentist who has just lost his patience after treating his last patient... too impatient? Sucks when a Tiger has to sit in a waiting room reading stories in tattered worn out women's mags such as, 'if you are confronted in a vet waiting room and a Tiger is chewing gum don't talk to it or it could tear stripes or strips off you! By the year 2025 only one gumless Tiger will walk the melted forest. Specially if some disgruntled fool presses a button.

Let me tell you why i came to this fly- by- nuke first class remote area. Pain country is a paradise of weeping plastic trees, hydraulic impulse auto sun drip generated back up climbing vines as far as your eye teeth can see.. Purely because some chap from the year 2015 pressed a button which clearly said, 'don't press this button or the world as mankind knows it, will melt, but if you have because you are the sort of person that can't repress your desire to confront authority, then beforehand, please pour your cup of remnant coffee into a titanium mug for the simple reason your plastic cup with the words "don't press THE FINAL button because you'll start off a "i don't care about mankind and i'll press any damn button my President, supervisor, missus, says- i should not- so there, i'm poking my cute tongue at you all!" Obviously the chap couldn't get a mental handle on his cup which runneth over. Unfortunately heralded the ensuing press release,"latest PRESS wasn't released therefore the editor and staff have vacated the building or rather the building vacated us. We all now have a nukeache. Dr just Living Stone, now, stern Stone,who was just about to release a much lauded urgent government report on the "i'll press a button that clearly states "don't press strategic buttons finish your coffee. Talk to your President first and perhaps share a biscuit before reducing the planet to a morsel of melt. Or at least ring your missus and advise her you have a toothache bordering on a headache and you are going to outJong Jong just because! Perhaps a counselor's words-like your coffee cup...may melt in your mouth? This report can even be viewed if the aforesaid button has indeed been a priority. Melted media www. @ why the hell was that button pressed? did the guy have a toothache?.com.what next? Full melted page can be viewed on www.@ sticky mess ticked off why didn't someone finger the guy before his thumb hit the "DON'T" button?"

The very reason i wrote this ridic is because if you haven't already guessed and haven't read between the lines/lions and Tigers thus far, i have a raging nuke toothache. Apart from the acute pain nuke fallout of a divorce i can't think of anything worse. I suppose it could be worse. It could be that time of the month, or year, you may have a raging headache, toothache, monetary ache and your partner walks in or on his/ her way out-stops. Turns, "what's up your nose...what's wrong with you?" Don't you hate that! For goodness sake put your arms around each others teeth and bite down on your gums. That's if you're a Tiger! Otherwise cradle the painful partner in your arms. Press the right button and i can assure you she'll melt in your arms. Say things like,"you are my strength, my world, though i'm in pain when its over we'll coo like two loving doves. We'll sleep. At least you will. But don't concern yourself about my raging toothache, my clenched fists, snore on regardless, i'm sorry you took the last painkiller, but not as sorry as you'll be if you don't immediately get me some more.

See i live in a small town where if you don't moo or baa you are put on a register and acknowledged as a human. Just about when your tooth/teeth are hanging round your belly button the Lord of the Teeth rings. Or is it the Lord of the Rings who rings when you're out and leaves a message, "our dentist was attacked by a chewing gum Tiger, just keep blowing painful bubbles out your nose and we'll get back to spew which if you doing don't worry, serves yourself right for not taking out private toothy peg care. Mix up a paste of salt and pepper,apply to offending part." I wish they were more specific. I mean which offending part? Pick a box and hope you've chosen the right one? For all those in any sort of Pain, i hear have my sympathies.

The Indian lady shattered a couple of pieces of deep tooth fill. "I can see the nerve...if after i fill it it hurts at night time come back and we'll remove it!" The night time or the tooth? A sort of friend was left a large sum of money and is spending some $30,000 on his teeth. With the remark, "i haven't been afforded the opportunity to chew an apple for so long." I replied stupidly as i normally do, "shit! i'm getting that long way away i can't afford to buy an apple!" Now listen, please don't send me any apples i'm not bitching or feeling sorry for myself in the least. But if, and only if, you have a return ticket to the Big apple you are throwing out because it's the wrong time for you to travel, then yes, i'd like to get my teeth into it. PLUS if everything isn't apples i'll come round and sort it for you guys because it hurts me to the core to think you could be in pain. Perhaps if you stop reading what i scribble the pain will disappear? It's worth a try.

You know, some animals that lose their teeth automatically grow new ones. We DON'T as we grow older because the head of D 'WISDOM' money extraction got in early when neanderthal dentists used electric rocks to excavate painful teeth. He sent a toothy email via www.@ thank God for dentures and tooth extraction otherwise us Dentist's bank accounts would be in a state of decay similar to those whom we threaten to repossess their teeth if they don't cough up. Also an email to the www.@.lolly and fizzy drink God. "dear lolly and fizzy drink decay distributor,thanks God. A picture of Pain should you dwell there...speaks a thousand words. We are particularly fond of the short, "oh my God! yank it out before i die and send the bill preferably after!"

What's the bet someone will post a vinyl replica tooth ad from UK espousing their magnificent painless pulling service. Getting them off is rather like pulling teeth. No ad pain no ad gain? Before you people in the U.S.A. go to bed make sure your gum magazines are loaded with hollow point decay. Otherwise the dentists won't be able to blow a hole in your bank balance! Teeth! don't leave bone without them! Sucks doesn't it! can't take them with you...or can you :>)

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Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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1 comments on TEETH..................riginal.

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