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Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Brown Stick Zenda. RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, March 28, 2015

The new invention that will get you sticky depending on what you order.

'WORK FROM HOME' STICKS. riginal.

Ideal opportunity for students familiar with English. You may only have a 'not needing to know' casual intermittent friendship with English. No matter. Work from home. You may be thinking, "stick it from home!"

Congratulations, you have made the first step without me having to prompt you. Even if you don't have or need a home that's okay.

My company, www.@ 'Flogsticks' is as the name implies. If you are thinking i flog rubber sticks you are wrong. My sticks are real sticks of varying thickness and length for a myriad of reasons/purposes.

Say for example you want to jump a bar as opposed to leaning on it. I think they call them drunken high jumping hurdlers. Obviously you would be holding on to a very long stick. If you are selected to work in my stick call centre the conversation would probably go thus.

STICK SALES: "Could evening sir, how would you be now doing? No, i'm not trying to stick you with something you don't need sir. What i'm selling sir is sticks. Listen to me pleasantly sir. What's that you say? Ahhh! you are imprisoned in jail for hurdling a fence and robbing Robin Hood and his messy men whilst they were robbing an evil Sheriff's mansion after they hurdled using one of our competitor's longer sticks. What! Your stick broke? Well sir, you're talking to the right stick person because our sticks stand the test of time as opposed to cheap sticks that break when you want to 'hurdle stick' back over west of the wall. Instead of that you have been interned behind the wall-left or right behind on your diminished low grade quality stick.

Do you want to leave the sticky jail term behind sir and sensibly order one of our superior quality sticks to enable you to take a running jump over and above your term? A stick that won't leave you stuck on top of razor wire inducing cutting rear marks? Do you want to stick to the humdrum routine of pushups, free meals, swimming, playing lead guitar in an all boy merry hairy men band? Or do you want to tell the order of the guard you are changing it! Yes sir our sticks come unstuck and guaranteed to propel you over the wall of your confinement faster than a speeding bullet which will invariably be chasing your stick in an attempt to stop your leap of faith. Yes, Faith will get your banking details after you order your own personal genuine stick with bummy back guarantee not to hit it should you by some force of nature,(you can't beat the branch of nature) not stick it to the guards and hit the ground running.

I'm sorry sir there's only one to a prisoner. You can of course pre order a pair of shorter sticks we call 'crutch sticks' in the advent you decide mid air your planned trajectory according to our hurdle stick, will fall short. Pleased to be stop yelling at me sir, we can't possibly send plans of exact trajectory out with every stick as we are just starting up and the boss hasn't seen the inside of every prison, (yet) therefore a 'guesstimate trajectory' plan only will be affixed to long sticks. No sir we don't have different color sticks. Brown only. Thank you for ordering sir, hold on, Faith will get your stripe details and number. Yes, you can order a fox tail sir as an option. No, not a replica,it's off a real fox sir. When you are free and wandering Sherwood Forest you may want to visit our stick factory and watch our foxy fur tails growing. Goodnight sir. What's that sir? You want to order one of our very short sticks to do what!

I'm all ready stuck up sir but i will pass your short stick suggestion on and what to do with it if your long stick with optional fox tail doesn't live up to your requirements. Yes sir, there is a sticky beak money back return should your guards want to buy one of our 'chaser' sticks. No sir, the guards won't catch you because you ordered first so therefore that puts the guards on a sticky wicket. You see their brown sticks will be treated with 'slow stick' oil. Therefore they will be several branch lengths behind you.

There's an old saying sir, "he who has an earlybird longjump stick will always land on his feet in the running position allowing anyone chasing to be caught off guard." What's that? You ARE a guard posing undercover as a prisoner? Your name is Zenda! Simple adjustment Zenda. We will send YOU the faster stick with the foxtail. I'll hold the slowstick oil for the next caller otherwise confusion will reign. Why on earth Zenda,may i ask, do you want to get out of prison? Your full name in prison sir? Prisoner of Zenda! Ah huh!...I get your manacled clang sir. Great booking sir, well read. Have Faith sir, she's ordering as i stick my chocolate biscuit in my coffee. I love the sticky taste."

If you think you could sell genuine stick ring me for an interview at my branch, www.Flogsticks. com. :>)



About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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