REAL STORIES
BY REAL PEOPLE Search
Sunday, November 19, 2017

DONQUICKOATS. riginal.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, March 25, 2015

Sir Don Lancelot of the never never desist- lands. He tilts the adjustable bull horns on his Aston Martin.

TILTING AT AD WINDMILLS. riginal.

Watched a dramatized serialized version of the best seller, 'Tilting at Ad Windmills' a two part trilogy starring the inimitable Don QuickOats.

The story is set in the 18th sanctuary in the small hamlet of AD. The opening scene is one of mayhem. A vicious swathe of ads mounted on weary laptops ride out armed to the teeth to do battle with little opposition.

The nearby villagers go about their daily routine aware the moronic ad plague could strike at any time...and it does. Terrifying. I.T. sweeps the world. "What are we to do?" wail the minority.

A forlorn hunched ragged figure collecting used pimple ads urges his weary horse on. "Bring out your dead ads so i can squeeze their pimples!" he cries. "Bring out your dead ads! a curse on this plague..."

He sighs. Points a gnarled nail skyward at the Hammer of Thaw. Hammer misses. Don sucks thaw hand. Pops a tugging insistent live limpet ad pimple from his tunic. You must remember in those early daze of home baked ad cookies/ electronic cast iron pots; Robin Hood, Batman, Ben Turpentine the English turps drinker-didn't exist. I guess one could say, no use adding fuel to the fire which could have spelt the end of ads.

The hero, DonQuickOats sits stirring his anti 'wild ad' oats. He turns to his wife Bro in a rage, gently admonishes; "my darling Bro my darling Bro, my anti ad porridge is ready to go. Please check the fuel tank straw in my Aston Martin. Spoon a goodly amount of anti ad porridge on my trusty lance. For i must wash. Anoint my body with anti ad my precious i haven't a moment to spare. According to my broken one handed replica watch lubricated with anti pimple cream."

Don washes, Bro barely has time to scurry to the local ATM to withdraw some Queens English. She spreads some broken English, ads anti ad. Don bids Bro farewell. A quick kiss on her cheeks. Lance at ready, loaded with anti AD pre paid anti pimple porridge the hero drives off into the bum set. Knocks several of the bums over.

The villagers of AD hear the charging Aston revving at the gates of Ad. Can Don rectify this ad rectum residue problem? Can Don persuade and doctor the ad plague; reduce it down to a respectable level whereupon ad proclaimers can be rendered harmless? Don raises his lance. Unfurls an unfurled proclamation.

"People of Ad land hear ye oh hear ye, take note. From this day fifth on orders of my wife Bro all ye adders will be struck dumb. I know i'm a bit late because 99.9% possess this ability prior may i add. Hear ye and hear ye good. From this day forward ad shingles on the internet will be banned. Bring out your dead ad pimples, bring out your live ads and place in the boot of my chariot to die of suffocation."

A nasty nasty UK essay villain, disguised as a nasty villain, lopes from his ad cage swinging his ad scythe. He foams at the mouth. In between shave offal. "Be off with yon lance Sir Don of anti ad oats! The people desire nothing of yore present or future to share with you...they are happy. Be off!"

Don steps out of his Aston into the rustic street. Lance at the ad lib. Most of the town were Liberals might i ad. Picks up a pebble of rustic. "Hear ye hear ye...Bro..."

Next episode tomorrow but i don't know whether i'll be home to watch it bro. Will Don get his oats? Even if the ads are placed in the boot of the Aston is it too late? Will the springs on his chariot snap under the burden? But wait! Doesn't hope spring eternal? Eternal Hope springs with pump up ad shockers deleted? The answer my friend is blowing in the spring? May take an eternity but when you think back to the olden days didn't Sir Tony Lance a lot...of bull?

Next exciting episode just around the corner bro...or will it be? Have a great weekend. Best to have them midweek. Less traffic. Hear ye hear ye! Oh sword of Dramatics don't spear me. It's a great life if you don't take the ad ons too seriously. &:>)#.




About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
Want to write articles too? Sign up & become a writer!

0 comments on DONQUICKOATS. riginal.



Add A Comment!

Click here to signup or login.


Rate This Article


Your vote matters to us



x


x