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Friday, November 17, 2017

Stay in bed!! RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, March 22, 2015

Yep...it's a great life if you don't waken. Stay in bed and blog God. Or, stay in God and put blog to bed? 8>)

"DEAR GOD" BLOG. RIGINAL.

Dear God.

Yes, it's me again God. Have you got time to talk? Of course you have. Social media prayer demands it. Says so in your draft to the world via hand- me- down scriptures from days of yore, whether you're rich or poor. Just open the Bible and cry out "more?"

Was going to contact you via Social Media. What do you mean Social Media is for people with nothing better to do than arthritictize their pinkies in a desperate attempt to out media each other to the social point of blog extinction?

God what do you mean people should stop twiddling and toeing, waffling and woeing? It's a mandatorial 'God given'-right?

Shuffling and going out of their minds in a frenetic askance. No time for you? Not even a glance? I know God, i hear you when you say the eleventh commandment should be, "thou shalt not implore/chide each other for sly gain, nor purposefully engage in the act of 'write' -without reason. For unreasoning trite write...well...it just doesn't strike...the chord of appeasement."

I understand God, i shall endeavor to convey your commandment after i tell you MY problematic day...and i pray...you'll listen to my grievance. And you're right when you say...angels don't twitter, try to flog wings...that indeed, would encourage flight binge.

Okay, you can't be bothered listening to my problems, i know you're listening to everyone at once. Please just listen and i'll tell you the crunch. Woke up this morn, tried as i may, felt something wrong- encroaching dismay? Oh, but you beckoned and beamed with such shiny sun...thought i'd hop in my car...off road it did run! Why didn't you warn me to check water quick? When it quite over boiled i felt like a...well...hurt to the quick.

No money had i...but that didn't matter...i do have a card...numbered and flat. No one to call...no mutter mechanic thought..."this guy's a great target set for a rort! $200 it is sir, but more to the point...the head gasket's stuffed...a mate you should ring?"

What i'm saying God is the motor's not right...hey! i'll just buy another! In brief God i should have stayed in mine and let your little ray of sunshine warm the cockles of my wallet from the comfort of my bed. I drove my sick water glutton car home followed by my friend. Just prayed it wouldn't stop...end up on the bend. It made it...thank God it didn't die of thirst.

I know God you're busy listening...to a heap of much whinge...but no-one else will listen for i live on the fringe...of financial blizzard...the winds of bad luck? No matter God...i'll pretend i'm a rooster...who doesn't give a cluck.

Yep, can't wait for tomorrow God...last night i tripped...on a much loved cement pot...it broke clean in half...picked up the flowers...stuck 'em in sorta...originally went out to check the rad's water. Cleaned up the mess, cracked a quick beer, bought by my favorite sister...a special understanding dear. Thanks for the day God...brushing dirt from my daks...rang my best mate...simply said "thanks."

It's ok now God, i know what i'll do...tomorrow i'll draw the blinds...stay in bed...know your warmth will come through. Might buy a ticket to wealth we all dream. But then what gaineth a man if he misses sour cream? Then i turn on the tele and see all the stars...see i tripped on the rug...hit my head on the bars. No, i'm not in a prison...even if i were...God would look over me...did i hear him say "duh!" Life's a bit like that...but what can one do? Rub your head just a little and wait for God's cue? I'm waiting God! I'm not really that clumsy...inept or plain dumb. BUT God! i'm not waving...might trip on my thumb?

The moral is...it's a great life...if you don't waken! Lie there! Ring your boss and tell him you're taking the day off. For God's sake. Your employer will think the sun shines out of you. Honest...would i lie. Never! People trip over lies. You could accidently poke your eye out! Cheers. /:>)



About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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