INTERVIEW WITH A flame: Author of best selling 'A MATCH'. RIGINAL.
It was with bated breathe i interviewed best selling: Another Flame, author of- 'A MATCH'. This novel has been compared to the 'Unlit Candle,' a seamy transgression into the symbolic regression of a woman who lusts after a A MATCH. However, A MATCH outdoes the aforesaid by its sheer descriptive melting brilliance, a breathtaking foray into the sordid world of a bunch of rejected misfits living in a self- contained explosive matchbox. The ending will astonish. 'Fifty Shades of Grey Burnt Ash' fans will love this thriller. The exquisite pain. James Bond,eat your gadget heart out. A MATCH has been sold to Warmer Bros in lieu of a four part trilogy from a series of film matches to explode in Cinematic tawdry cinder culminating in a breathtaking five hour 'no pee stop no flatulence' full on battle of the bulge and hold, seated positions upon wooden crates with viral splinters designed to strike fear into the strongest and bravest- of- the- brave theater goer.
ME:" A Flame thank you for taking time out from your whirlwind book tour to come down under...why?"
AF:" No,no no, thank you Me for inviting me here to your wonderful country. Why indeed does one not go overboard instead of down under which in a sense is one and the same as long as one wears a life jacket. One can drown in the literal sense of gagging under or over and go under if one doesn't hold ones breath over and over...again. It's a long swim here from the Yukon. You can bet on it but i don't bet so that left me, Me, with both me arms free to swim. With an intermittent dog paddle as back up. But i made it. I'm here to flick A MATCH to-as they say in the classics-the fiery beast burning in the breast burns brighter than a lighter because A MATCH is a story of a one-off match that lusts after an old flame."
ME:" My God! that's descriptive. What you are saying in effect is that a single match is more than just a match when it's matched up against a lighter who turns out to be be a blighter rich in butane but poor in retrospective heated love; in that A MATCH is more than just a match, it's a lonely mismatched match seeking and indeed finding a splintered relationship."
AF:" Correct...so so correct!"
ME:" I loved the main character when he jumps out of the Les Miserable type of crowd in the mixed matchbox, throws his flamin' hands in the air and points his red head at the old flame and in doing so strikes up a discordant conversation with her. Why did you use such an old flame, was it because A MATCH wanted an old charred spent red head woman who had been burnt around the box of life? A sort of smutty sooty relationship perchance? Was the young virile hero redhead therefore goading the lighter blighter by saying in effect," i'm brighter though shorter and lighter,you have more gas but the old flame i throw in your face and if jealous you are then lighter strike er but if you do i'll blow your plastic cover if you dare smite er."
AF:"Correct...so so correct!"
ME" How many copies have you sold thus far AF."
AF:" Give or take a few match heads Me...none."
ME:" How could that be possible? You say you left the launching post at the Yukon publisher's factory with a boatload of some three million copies of A MATCH...the boat sunk. You swam on, a Herculean effort. Three million soggy copies later you washed up on the shores of Australia. Exhausted. You gathered the soggy pages together, dried them out. Re sorted them. The eternal story of a band of misfit matches led by the hero A MATCH who conquers all, flaunts an old flame in front of the evil lighter blighter to show his superiority and the evergreen-"never give up"- attitude. How could this novel not hold a candle to the expose on the lighter side of rife? Where did our hero lose it?"
AF:(sighs) " It all blew up in A MATCH'S face. Three million sorted copies were sitting tinder dry in front of the Warmer Bros executives. A MATCH, the LIGHTER BLIGHTER, plus the OLD FLAME- actors three- sat in heated argument over pay rates. A Warmer Bros exec leaned over and asked for a light. Became a whole lot warmer! Lighter Blighter, A MATCH and the Old flame, all struck up simultaneously, proffering a light, jostling for position. Plus a part acting lit candle in the wind wafted by. Everyone was so fired up with spontaneous combustion they set fire to the Warmer Bros set...burnt the set to the ground. Three million copies up in smoke. No injuries except for the disco player 'entertainment' who burnt his rapping finger on the cd,"c'mon Baby light my Fire!"
ME:"What an incredible story. Is there a moral behind all this misfortune befalling you?"
AF:" Ummm...yeah, don't hatch your actor matches before they're scratched? Or, maybe, don't scratch your matches before the actors are hatched? Lighter side would be a candle in the wind minus an old flame?
ME:" Are you a bit browned off?"
AF:" There's an old saying, "life isn't all about Me...it's the thwart that counts. On paper i was hoping to set the literary world on fire. Guess you can't judge whether a book is going to be hot or not by its cover?" :>)