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Monday, November 20, 2017

Q AND A...........................RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, December 06, 2014

let's pretend the elephant in the online comments room has been taken to tusk. Essays to Essays bulldust to dust.

CORRECTIVE PUNCHUATION. RIGINAL.

Hi, me name's Jim Bowie. Knife to meet you. I recently retired as a bantam weight boxer. The bantam couldn't stand the wait til the fight was over so it flew away. Bantam is a small chook. Fowl play.

I decided to give up boxing and knife throwing because it is dangerous. Besides, i only took a stab at boxing because blow me down (last fight a blow downed me!) i decided to throw my literary glove in and ring an online course regarding punctuation.

As Dirty Harry once said, "are you feeling English pronunciation punk...well are you?"

I didn't think i would be accepted, for one reason i am not real smart but by small fortune, (paid as par for the course) i was accepted on the basis that if i really really concentrated i would eventually be able to write my name, address, date of $ girth, and my phone number. I told them i didn't have a phone number so they said they'd give me a ring on my non existent number.

I'm waiting by my non existent phone.

My course inquiry saw fruition.The teacher said "i am going to ask you a few simple questions."

T:" If i hold five fingers up how many am i holding up as a rule of thumb?"

ME:" This is a trick question, the thrust of it centers not on how many fingers are up, more importantly, fingers are up WHAT?" T:" Correct! they're up your wallet. And we are thumbing through your money. Using five fingers. If one used a vowel what would be a good start?"

ME:"A?"

T:" Correct! what is a pro noun?"

ME:"A pro noun is a street walking noun soliciting wealthy words, and usually ends up in or with a sentence some sidewalk distance down the road."

T:" Correct. When would you not sight a conjunctive adverb?"

ME:"When the adverb has conjunctivitis."

T:"Correct. What is herd but not seen?"

ME:"The invisible man's one invisible cow."

T:"Wrong, a cow is not herd."

ME:"But you just said it's herd?"

T:"Correct, just thought i'd milk it."

ME:"How do you milk an invisible cow?"

T:" Yet to be seen. Put an adjective in this sentence. "Where is invisible Mr Brown's brown invisible cow now?"

.ME:"Wait a minute, if the owner of the brown invisible cow now is invisible how do you know it's Mr. Brown? and furthermore if said cow is invisible how do you know it's brown?"

T:"Correct. We'll milk the online cash cow for you."

ME:"And here i was worrying about shysters online when all the dime you were taking from me is enriching my knowledge, all above board with not a trace of invisible bull. There's an old saying. "Trust only becomes a four letter word after you check your savings account. So many courses,so little dime. So many Ed ad spruikers filtering in- why? Have a great day. :>)




About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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