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Wednesday, November 22, 2017

To L and back?.....RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, October 31, 2014

One woman's foray into a different embrace.......or the lack of it. "Kiss me quick because i love you so, but why i don't know?"

'INTANGIBLE LESBIANS?' RIGINAL.

Flicked on the box. Tornadoes. Bit blow the belt and do they with vigor! Petite blonde host interviewing a weather pattern guy here in Australia about our blow- by- blow, some sixty tornadoes- annually. Some even as intense in ferocity as the U.S. freaks.

Guy locks his goats up in a shipping container. Big T-Rex mother blow picks the container up like a fairy floss loaded cardboardic container, hurls it down the road. Ends up looking like an oblong square. Some goats killed, some had to be put down, if i were one of the remainder i'd just lay flat on the ground in future, spreadeagled, if a goat can do that? Beats getting beat up in an oblong formerly square, jam tin?

The only thing i know that could withstand a tornado is a mortgage...the roots take hold of your soul, slowly, imperceptibly, strangle the living life out of you don't they? Especially when you're trying to keep the maintenance up on a house you purchased, free of white ants. I mean what are you guys complaining about?...the white ants were of the 'free' variety! Enjoy,the inspector with his online white ant doctorate flashed quick. I mean all this after you made the guy a cup of coffee,and apportioned more than one portion to him of a large cream cake, end result, he couldn't get his fat ass up as far as the colony, who were wearing silencers on their dentures provided by the unreal real estate agent. Can't blame the guy for not noticing the sawdust stumps...he was too busy fighting off the lip cream lusting, licking, rat infestation- with your coffee cup! I firmly believe that cockroaches and mortgage repayments are very similar, they both have the propensity to spread disease. Difference being the Cockroach shows no interest in your plight of struggle. Come to think of it the bank is about par. Those who can borrow off pa well and good, more likely they live like ma and pa kettle. Happiness is an understanding Bank Manager, do you have that type of insect in the U.S.? Just kidding, Bank Manager's have to earn a crust through taking your crumbs. And without fail they show a lot of interest!

The fury of the storm abated, the program ended. I know i won't be round to see the end of the world, as i've mentioned before, my dad was incensed he missed out...didn't even get to meet an alien. Only when he went for a loan.

I placed the remote down, accidently clicked it on again. Program about a cute health fitness lady who thought although she predominately dated men...felt she could tending, or tender, toward differing strokes.The narrator said one out of three women have the urge at some stage in their lives. I don't think he was alluding to Cobb and Co stage. I was going to go to bed because i'm pretty sure i'm not a lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I think my budgie 'Pecker' was one. You can tell the sex of a budgie by looking at the color of their nostrils. Blue for boys, sandy color for girls. The budgie i bought cheaply, didn't have nostrils. It wore a face mask from the day it was sent over from China. Smogified. The budgie cost me $3. Because the mask was surgically implanted, the final cost was $3003. Even if it was lesbian, it would have to let out an early morning muffled chirp to fool me. I know a cheap beak 'no nostrils' bird bargain when i see one. For an extra $1000 bird flogger Chung threw in the oxygen bottles. Plus a freebie, a tiled bath. Never got to use the bath, neither did the budgie. You see, it had no nostrils,if water got up its delete nostrils obviously it would drown. An idiot would know that. Pecker got up one morning, as indeed i've heard some American ones do on occasion, and dropped dead when i asked it if it was a lesbian bird...not that it mattered to me.

Pecker forgot it had two oxygen bottles strapped to its shapely legs. In a rage it flew, hissed at me,"listen jerk are you bi sexual, a transvestite perchance?" Landed in a heap in the bath full of water, the bottles pulled it down before i could say,"no i'm not."

Pecker drowned. Sorry, i'm a bit choked up. Pecker only lived two days but it was happy. I buried that bird alongside its seller,Chung. I'm sorry, but i tend to get angry when i'm ripped off. You see when i checked the oxygen bottles they had been filled with helium so i guess you could say my Pecker had the last laugh...underwater.

Now where was i ? There was this cute maybe lesbian wanting to find out if she was a little bit rooted in lesbianism. Incidently the program was filmed in England. She goes round to a flat where three confirmed lesbians lived. They took her to nightclubs etc, she was ignored mostly, i think her reluctance and shyness was off putting to any prospective match ups. Seemed to me. But i'm no expert and to tell you the truth i missed my Pecker. I think maybe this was cutie's problem also. So amid the pash and dash there stood this lady. To cut a long one short, she visited several specialists in human behavioral patterns to learn that indeed for many reasons women preferred women. And the way some guys act quite frankly i don't blame them. Don't get me wrong...i'm only an observer.

So with nothing much gleaned the lady was about to depart the scene with not much ascertained, when on the last night before departure the blonde of the trio she was sharing the flat with, walked up and kissed her. The end scene was the two talking. Although they didn't mingle, the blonde said she felt no attraction sexually, but she felt nonetheless strongly attracted to the cute woman. Cutie in turn said she felt the same as if a man had kissed her, extremely jealous as she stood in nightclub like a shag on a rock, after the kisser walked off and started to mingle with the other girls. Said she couldn't fathom why she felt like that. Rather sad, and at the same time uplifting. I've always maintained that emotional, jealous, 'baggage' left over from a broken relationship can have the same effect on any type of relationship. Familiarity breeds?...and continues to impregnate the heart a tad?

Cute dolls up, heads for manpower, back into her old he man stomping ground but her vibes to me hadn't been completely sated or understood. Like something ventured, nothing really claimed? That night as i lay in bed thinking of how much turbulent emotion rules the hormone bent roost i couldn't stop thinking about Pecker. I could have bought a lesbian turtle and not shelled out half the money i wasted on that no nostril bird. I didn't bury Pecker alongside Chung the pecker ripoff man. He's still out there laughing to himself,alive, with two helium bottles stuck up his nose. When i get angry my emotions run riot.

Lesbians as a whole please don't be offended if you feel i have in any way, we all have a part to play on the stage of life. Which ever way life coaxes,beguiles, remonstrates, anguishes, pleads, despairs. It's the big E that you have to placate to garner some sort of inward peace however brief,before you settle or rush off in a frantic feverish search for Mr. or Mrs right, or a facsimile?

I must go now, my turtle calls...in fact she's screeching. She's a bargain really, hates men, but i shell talk to her and perhaps she'll come round to hand feeding. At the moment she's sitting on E-Bay...made her a nice little bay. She's a good dancer you know...very emotional E is. I might just bring her a couple of girlfriends to keep her company. r E s p E ct...ahhh you don't know what you do to me? Something intangible that you really hesitate to come to grips with is life. Complicated compilation of thoughtification askew, a new day on cue? :>)



About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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1 comments on To L and back?.....RIGINAL.

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By riginal on November 01, 2014 at 07:29 am

takes one mark to know one? Shame one or t other haven't the courage to make a comment but that's choice, i was commenting on something bandied about and 'ongoing' researched, i found the program interesting in its different connotations about how women feel not only toward men but toward each at certain or more to the point,uncertain times in their lives. As other programs about men also become discussed regularly. As i stated, my apologies if i offended anyone, no apologies for taking a lighthearted look at something that exists whether ONE acknowledges facts or not.I don't think i approved or disapproved in summation, just said it how it was and is and as time goes on will probably remain a much thought/talked over part of life. A FACT that therapists dealing with these issues on the program about Lesbian tendencies and why; gave their insights on the subject (men and women) also very interesting. Not perverts, qualified people giving an insight into the many facets of human social behaviour, and perhaps judged by some, a deviation of emotion they don't wish to think about, read about, or even acknowledge...bring on the smelling salts? Thanks for taking the time out to score.No pun intended. Hard to defend oneself against 'blank' but then should i have to for some reason? Perhaps Ed has an opinion? Have a nice day. :>)

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