ROCK OF SAGES. RIGINAL.
Don't know whether i ever told you bout the Village of Sage. I distinctly remember vaguely, telling yews the story bout the Sillage of Vage. Vage is the abbreviation of vague according to the dictionary of Sillage. There was only ever one copy of Sillage cooked up. An ancient He brew, or was it an ancient She brew? brewed, threw meaty word abbreviational shorts together, baked them in a pie so that the ancient He/shebrewians could get straight to the point of interpretation by chewsing their words very shortly after partaking thereof. However, the one off pie having thus cooled off on the sill, aged, was lost in the entrails however briefly, in a Sage's tum tum. Maybe you find this explanation hard to digest and you don't want to read on? Free country.
Thus it was a descendant Sage of the original abbreviated pie dic (short for dictionary) eater who regaled me with this story as we sat soaking up the sunshine in the Village of Sage. I could feel and see in my mind's eye, passion's rumble in the jungle.
Seems once upon a crime in Sage it was indeed a crime to age. The peoples, some 20,000 weak- plus a 400 year-old turtle virile and strong- were shunned by the young vibrant youth of Sage. As a result, the owner of the 400 year- old- turtle a wealthy chemist of stature, and Mayor of the passion V, turned his T upside down, extracted a serum from its bile ductialis zen organ, and secretly injected a subliminal message on Youoldtube, that only old people could read. The craze, 'Bonk on bile for a long or short while for ages' reared its head.Obviously, aged seasoning, (an old Man for all Seasons?) i'm sworn to secrecy about, was added to make a potent testosteronic mix that simply didn't just make the aged young again in vein, love and passion flowed like free beer at a free beer fest through their bodies which produced a plethora of rampant ram buck tious deers that would have made Casanova give his basic reason for living, were he alive in the V of S- his very sole for. But then Casanova spent so much time undoing his shoelaces it tied up too much love time therefore he wore disposable paper thongs. The dual purpose being that the love guru could use the thong to wipe his mouth between kisses as everyone knows great kissers dribble...so i've overheard but that's only lip service.
You'd think the Sage was making this up as we sat absorbing God's rays, well you're wrong! The old folks were going beserkers as the story unfolded. The young of course were disgusted,disgruntled, for the main street of Sage swelled,along with the sounds of love trumpeting from the rooftops. Indeed, looked up puzzled,shaded my eyes, i was astonished to see 105 year-old-Percy not pointing Percy at the porclain but hanging from the spouting whilst enthralling 90 year-old Edna who had her feet firmly jammed in the hot tin roof corrugations. I'm not a rude person, you make up your own minds...Percy and Edna were out of theirs. Joe the butcher had shut down his shop and was chasing not mutton dressed as lamb, but undressed mutton on the lamb down a side alley. a young virile hunk was knocked down as 120 year-old- widow Johnson skateboarded past in pursuit of the butcher, as apparently the butcher had received a double dose of passion, which upset more than one apple cart. Or, was Betty the owner of the apple cart, pushing forward with zeal, indeed, waiting for Joe Blow. I can tell you, i was feeling uncomfortable, then around the corner came the instigator turned turtle, two turtles taking up the whole footpath. The female turtle, Ash palt such a tremor, her shell ejected. Just as the Sage finished telling me the story amid this torrid scene a senora wedged her electric chair tween me and the shocked Sage. She undid her helmet, his, (Sages wear helmets in the sun) thrust herself upon the hapless (happy?) man. I said goodbye, tried to shake the Sage's hand, someone was already shaking it, i walked off, rounded the corner, 100 metres away i could still hear the moaning and groaning, the sloppy kissing, simply disgusting if you were a youngster in the Village of Sage. For once or a few dozens of times the sneering of the jealous youth turned to admiration...some i heard, were even thinking of upping their age limit and turning turtle so to speak. :>)
But then passion with the right person,it's ageless isn't it? That was my ear's view from one hundred metres away! I lie,it may have been 200 metres...give or take a kiss.