Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Where is online education going? RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, October 18, 2014

Someone is raking it in...can anyone help me please, i feel so so a loan...that's it, i'll take out an educationary loan, with backup.


Was reading a recent comment alluding to online course education, "can someone do my assignment for me?"

Are you people for real? You young fresh idea people, masters of the education environment? future leaders of our nations?

Doctors, lawyers, financiers, "YOU can do it on line,we'll give you the answers, we'll write up your assignments, we'll well...we will. You can do it in your own sweet time. So! You are now a doctor! You can't find anyone to do your heart transplant...don't panic fool! We will take you through online step- by- step, we will hold your hand, first, let go your parent's hands. And wallet.

Now! You say you've removed the heart? Good,very good. Make sure you don't drop the slippery little blighter. Don't be anxious, don't worry we are online with you. Do not let the patient walk around...that would be heartless...guess you've guessed that. Put the heart on a flat surface, you did do our anti-bacterial swab course didn't you? You bloody well didn't! Great, just wonderful, stay on line we'll do it for you! Easy as. Put the heart in the ice box. WHAT! you didn't take up our refrigeration 'how to' ice box course? We'll do it for you! No probs.

Just wack the heart in the ice box for a month or two. Lock the cat out, or feed the cat if you are going to put it in the ice box.

WHAT! WWWWWHAT! You haven't done the 'feed the pussy in the ice box' course? Don't you worry young doc in despair. SIT down now...not on the bloody heart! Put the heart in the damn ice box. Leave the pussy alone. Chuck it outside,now! NO! not the heart...the pussy! You've done what! Are you students stir crazy? So, let's get this straight. You've transplanted the puss. You've chucked the heart in the ice box out in the rubbish bin.

WHAT! You haven't done the 'bring back the heart in the ice box retrieval ' course stage one? Don't panic. How is the patient? Oh good, she's purring along nicely. You've WHAT! You've put kitty litter in the intravenous drip! WHAT! you haven't done the dripping pussy litter course? You have? Great. Now, don't worry about the heart. WHAT? you pulled out a perfectly good heart because online we told you to take heart? Stop crying, you are not a failure, you are a fully untrained doc online, and you should be proud of that. Stop crying you are NOT an abject failure, sure, you didn't follow our online suggestions on a pussy heart transplant but don't get your whiskers in a knot. What do you mean the patient is chasing a ball of wool around?

Don't tell me you didn't sign up for an online ballsup chasing course...don't tell me...i don't want to know. Stop bawling. You what? You've sent Ms. Pussy Galore home? What's that? You're Sean Connery? This is all a joke? Thank God for that Sean.

And a bloody joke it is. I was going to take out an online course how to go online but puss kept getting in the road.

I mean give me a break. Use your own noggins girls and boys...not others. Or the teacher's. Sure, my mum helped me build a Saturn rocket that reached the moon. But i launched it...lit the wick. So, your kid's project wasn't that flash because the other kid's parents spent their long service leave and retirement money on a rebuild of the Eiffel tower to scale out of custard. Your rabbit meanwhile ran away, your ants died, dad 'accidently' stabbed your mum in the ear trying to fashion a hollowed out pumpkin head. Maybe it shouldn't have been ON her head at the time. In other words don't get others to shape or do your head work'll end up a run-of-the-mill production online groupified non- thinking flatliner. "Can anyone do my assignment?" Can anyone breathe for me please...i'm busy. Sure,i've over exaggerated. Help to a modicum is great, it's a fine line like life itself. There's no online course for life but try to do as much as you can yourself, become an individual and you'll grow into an upstanding freestanding independent student and person. Am i wrong,too harsh?

While i'm on the subject, is there an online course for straightening your life out....NUP? Thought so,increments of help?...where does the straight and narrow end up? Bit of a curly one i guess. But trying to straighten the curls yourself with minimum help,doesn't that build character, a better person within yourself that you and your parents AND a tad of help from your teachers on occasion so that all in all at the end of the day they can say, bravo, well done? that where the illumination of mankind lies...or does the education system float on grey drab non- inspirational areas of copy and easy out? Could be wrong, but i've got the distinct impression someone's raking in money for jam. Or am i out of line even suggesting that online sounds to me like a 'turkey shoot' in a very small educational barrel? Cheers. Ummm...can someone rewrite this for me? Offline, wink wink say no more of course. :>)

About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
Want to write articles too? Sign up & become a writer!

7 comments on Where is online education going? RIGINAL.

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By Barbara MacDonald on October 29, 2014 at 09:36 pm

Oh my...just plain scary thinking about this... and I am sure at some point in time this could be what our education system may come to. So many fly by night schools turning out doctors, plastic surgeons, teachers..who knows. Do we now have to ask to see their diplomas when we go to the hospital or doctors.

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 0
By riginal on October 30, 2014 at 01:00 am

Barb i'm hearing you. It is muted among people i talk to in town that if there's something mildy wrong with you like you're dying, best to see a city doc. Maybe for two reasons? 1. The city doc has a bigger jar of lollies? 2. The country doctor's morse code operators have inordinately long stuttering meal breaks plus tap dancing is a major part of their day. PLUS, the doctor's lucky enough to have country computors receive a weaker signal from the 'Wizard of Oz'. ie:"contact us online now and our solar panel staff will send you an Indian Summer to die for." Which you were trying to avoid. Serious, a relatively unqualified doctor was unearthed not because he was inept, but looking at his medical history was found to not possess the right stamps of approval acceptable in this country, even though he was a natural. I believe personally like the "do it online" studentry that if one can dissect a frog then you're "good to go" surgically,after all, we all have to croak sometime? Why not hop to it online? I'm ridgy didge! There's an online course to suit anybody.Jump to it.Take heart. :>)

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 0
By riginal on October 30, 2014 at 01:33 am

"What! you haven't got an online diploma? Don't move! Our online Dipstick Diplomat (DD) machine is printing out your online Diploma offline as i stir my latent latte. What was it you wanted to major in again? Monkey Grinder? Don't try to pull the monkey over my eyes! WHAT! you have enough money to drive us bananas! Monkey Grinder it is then...would you like to avail yourself of the optional plastic chain which breaks...or would you prefer the solid chain mesh type which will enable you to monkey round until you come to a grinding halt? Would you be wanting the chrome chain or the coffee colored one, one of our unsettled students sent back after he found his lesser diplomatic become the best politician in the world one day when we think he's ready to change the world online,offline, after he's finished hanging up his agenda on his clothesline...WHAT! you haven't done our clothesline diploma in brief! Just so happens we have brief diplomas...when would you be wanting to change...the world?

Sorry Barb, i'm being silly, who indeed would want to change this world for the batter?...a polluted fish? What! you haven't a fish to fry? You'd batter get in touch and we'll hook you up! Would you like that with pollution and fries. :>)

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 0
By Mary Fernando on November 26, 2014 at 12:06 am

Understudy Loan Solutions can help you comprehend your choices for dealing with your government understudy loans..many individuals get a credit and take Assignments Writing help

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 0
By riginal on November 26, 2014 at 02:20 am

alone again?...or a loan again? Give me a subject you're stuck on and i'll write you a thesis for free, no loan involved because primarily as a writer you ARE alone, to err on the side of individuality, isn't that the key to unlocking your own personal write of passage mongst the $ prompt and premeditated online loan shark infested "so! you want to be...?" want to be what? Sucked into debt for the sake of discarding self reliance on your ability to measure up to what you may well find you already possess if you search within Mary? Credit where credit's due?

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 0
By Mark Robson on February 24, 2015 at 08:19 am

A life experience degree accredited from globally renowned accreditation body has equal worth like a traditional degree and yields the equal benefits to candidate of it. A number of individuals all over the globe have benefited their selves with this degree by getting appraisals at their current organization and exposure to better opportunities as well.

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 0
By riginal on February 24, 2015 at 12:42 pm

Yes Mark but how many individuals does it take to screw in a globe or for that matter how many young individuals have had a life experience? Cart before the horse? It's all subjective. I can tell you roughly how many 'academics' of high standing currently in charge it takes to screw UP our globe and therefore if these people supposedly of the highest intellect,(remember they are the leaders of mankind,voted in by us trusting 'ordinary' folk) then God help us all and may they be "dumbed down" for their arrogance so as to garner some relativity of what is needed to make the world a far better place than their shortsightedness aspires to and that includes Australia's PM. Heart's in the right place i guess...sometimes. As human beings we all make mistakes Mark...but do we have to keep voting them in without respite? Hard not to because of rampant promises prior their election then abandoned once installed? Jesus didn't attend uni, nor did he have official accreditation by some, and for every person you can name who has achieved accreditation,exposure has discredited many. Yes, intelligence is a wonderful tool, but of late it seems to be used as a precursor to bludgeon its way through the narrow streets of commonsense. Far too narrow, where the 'fat cats' seem to get wedged, stuck with their own self importance. A good example being the proposed execution of persons. All the main so called 'intelligent' combatants are more interested in 'saving face' than saving faces. They dumb themselves down by their actions. Indeed, some seem hellbent on making a career out of it. I write tongue- in- cheek, and i quite often say it is only my absurd opinion but absurdity seems to flow through our media and our lives like a meandering river. In other words if we can't see the humor in our everyday lives and laugh at ourselves then i guess i'll just have to be appraised hell with love, kindness, humility, forgiveness? Though i must say in my opinion, you don't have to be over intelligent to succor on the aforesaid. Welcome to the site Mark. You don't have to defend anything to me. Tell me though as you seem to be an intelligent person. Would you recommend two intelligent leaders get together in a neutral meeting place and have a discussion on the world stage perhaps before the people they represent regarding the upcoming executions? And if so, should this meeting occur before the execution or after? Perhaps the Pope could have the final say as he dominates intelligence in my book and the book he promotes? I have no qualms at all what students aspire to in any field of's just that some seem to get lost in the idea of life experience in varying degrees as evidenced by the conflicting confusing plethora of essay rites being flogged to death ad nauseum. In effect if i were young again which aint likely to happen, i'd be a plumber. They earn the same as a doctor. There was a carpenter who is still heralded around the world and way before essay accreditation came into being, who wrote simply, "love your fellow man." Best life experience i've heard of and it doesn't cost a cent to join. Cheers Mark...laugh at yourself and the world thinks you're a nutter but then seriousness to the extreme rarely heals a wound or promotes feel good vibes. I may be wrong. /:>)

 Report abuse

Add A Comment!

Click here to signup or login.

Rate This Article

Your vote matters to us