HOW DID ONLINE EDUCATION GET SO CRASS? RIGINAL.
Was reading a recent comment alluding to online course education, "can someone do my assignment for me?"
Are you people for real? You young fresh idea people, masters of the education environment? future leaders of our nations?
Doctors, lawyers, financiers, "YOU can do it on line,we'll give you the answers, we'll write up your assignments, we'll well...we will. You can do it in your own sweet time. So! You are now a doctor! You can't find anyone to do your heart transplant...don't panic fool! We will take you through online step- by- step, we will hold your hand, first, let go your parent's hands. And wallet.
Now! You say you've removed the heart? Good,very good. Make sure you don't drop the slippery little blighter. Don't be anxious, don't worry we are online with you. Do not let the patient walk around...that would be heartless...guess you've guessed that. Put the heart on a flat surface, you did do our anti-bacterial swab course didn't you? You bloody well didn't! Great, just wonderful, stay on line we'll do it for you! Easy as. Put the heart in the ice box. WHAT! you didn't take up our refrigeration 'how to' ice box course? We'll do it for you! No probs.
Just wack the heart in the ice box for a month or two. Lock the cat out, or feed the cat if you are going to put it in the ice box.
WHAT! WWWWWHAT! You haven't done the 'feed the pussy in the ice box' course? Don't you worry young doc in despair. SIT down now...not on the bloody heart! Put the heart in the damn ice box. Leave the pussy alone. Chuck it outside,now! NO! not the heart...the pussy! You've done what! Are you students stir crazy? So, let's get this straight. You've transplanted the puss. You've chucked the heart in the ice box out in the rubbish bin.
WHAT! You haven't done the 'bring back the heart in the ice box retrieval ' course stage one? Don't panic. How is the patient? Oh good, she's purring along nicely. You've WHAT! You've put kitty litter in the intravenous drip! WHAT! you haven't done the dripping pussy litter course? You have? Great. Now, don't worry about the heart. WHAT? you pulled out a perfectly good heart because online we told you to take heart? Stop crying, you are not a failure, you are a fully untrained doc online, and you should be proud of that. Stop crying you are NOT an abject failure, sure, you didn't follow our online suggestions on a pussy heart transplant but don't get your whiskers in a knot. What do you mean the patient is chasing a ball of wool around?
Don't tell me you didn't sign up for an online ballsup chasing course...don't tell me...i don't want to know. Stop bawling. You what? You've sent Ms. Pussy Galore home? What's that? You're Sean Connery? This is all a joke? Thank God for that Sean.
And a bloody joke it is. I was going to take out an online course how to go online but puss kept getting in the road.
I mean give me a break. Use your own noggins girls and boys...not others. Or the teacher's. Sure, my mum helped me build a Saturn rocket that reached the moon. But i launched it...lit the wick. So, your kid's project wasn't that flash because the other kid's parents spent their long service leave and retirement money on a rebuild of the Eiffel tower to scale out of custard. Your rabbit meanwhile ran away, your ants died, dad 'accidently' stabbed your mum in the ear trying to fashion a hollowed out pumpkin head. Maybe it shouldn't have been ON her head at the time. In other words don't get others to shape or do your head work assignments...you'll end up a run-of-the-mill production online groupified non- thinking flatliner. "Can anyone do my assignment?" Can anyone breathe for me please...i'm busy. Sure,i've over exaggerated. Help to a modicum is great, it's a fine line like life itself. There's no online course for life but try to do as much as you can yourself, become an individual and you'll grow into an upstanding freestanding independent student and person. Am i wrong,too harsh?
While i'm on the subject, is there an online course for straightening your life out....NUP? Thought so,increments of help?...where does the straight and narrow end up? Bit of a curly one i guess. But trying to straighten the curls yourself with minimum help,doesn't that build character, a better person within yourself that you and your parents AND a tad of help from your teachers on occasion so that all in all at the end of the day they can say, bravo, well done?...is that where the illumination of mankind lies...or does the education system float on grey drab non- inspirational areas of copy and easy out? Could be wrong, but i've got the distinct impression someone's raking in money for jam. Or am i out of line even suggesting that online sounds to me like a 'turkey shoot' in a very small educational barrel? Cheers. Ummm...can someone rewrite this for me? Offline, wink wink say no more of course. :>)