REAL STORIES
BY REAL PEOPLE Search
Sunday, November 19, 2017

Teller it how it is.RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, October 13, 2014

Come missa teller man? Teller me banana...next please!

BAD BUSINESS? RIGINAL.

Band aid manufacturer 'stick-em-up' which has just opened a store next door to a bank, suffered a major setback today when overzealous German sales rep Ike Gotgunz entered the bank. Now...you're thinking that the rep strode in, reached into his sample briefcase ,turned to the teller with a brief intro. "Good morning my cute one, i'm Ike Gotgunz try 'stick- em- up' from next door."

No sirree...Ike pulled out a surgical knife, with a dramatic flourish cut two fake fingers off containing fake blood from fingers handy. Handed the bored gum chewing teller the fingers and a box of band-aids with 'stick-em-up from next door' written on it.

Ike leaned forward eagerly, "fair maiden please try 'stick em up from next door.' The bored male teller, a 'plays up member on weekends' of the finger food fetish society, sighed. Picked up the fingers disinterestedly, yawned, adjusted an 'equal opportunity' earring, wiped miscreant gloss off his ' naturally plumped?' lips. "Listen Ike," scratched where there once,or twice? was.

"Listen darling" quick pout. Adjusted his newly stimulated pips. "i can stick em up now...but if you want me to 'stick- em-up from next door' that's a fair stretch, but listen honey, i could try during my lunch break Ike baby!"

That's not the joke. The main thrust of this pertinent observation IS that you could cut your fingers off in front of some tellers and bleed to death before they'll give YOU a bloody hand. Notice how they say "knackers please." That's his surgeon i'm talking about. No reflection on his gloss. I'm not suggesting for one minute if one has the inclination to 'downsize' that this is wrong, right? If you disagree YOU tell 'er. She'll scratch your bloody eyes out with her bloody manicured fingers! Member that!

Also do you notice how the teller waits until it's YOUR turn then they thrust a 'next tell er please' sign in front of you? Then they vamp off, sticking imaginary gum in their ears so they don't have to acknowledge you because the fat ass bank manager wants to show the new recruit how to file...his nails. See BM was a she,that's how gloss got his job. It's not "what you glow...it's who you glow?" Do you notice the look of scorn from the other two hundred depositors, withdrawers, loan seekers, bankrobbers when you pull out that gigantic bag of small coinage for them to count...the specially perforated plastic bag bursts when you 'accidently' slam it on the counter? I love doing that! I just love it...turns me on something awful. But then i'm different. I call a bank robber's action with a water pistol full of custard, "just desserts." Got told off the other day by Robin red breasts. She rocks in the bank vault all day long? She said, "how may i help you?" I shrugged, made a 'pistol fist,' "show me the money." "We don't make jokes like that in here!" That's when i pull the perforated plastic bag of coinage out! I just love it. See they have to count it in front of you. Some tellers have absolutely no sense of humor...but then maybe that's their particular fetish? What's your ladies? Letting your kids tear round pulling the braided rope pins over? Tripping people up? They're only kids, be patient. They may become bank tellers or worse still, fat sweaty handed grimacing bank managers one day.

Just imagine them without their suits or knackers...sorry,knickers! Have a big fat one,whatever turns you on. Hate snobs and little old ladies that bail 'fixed smiles' tellers up. Kidding, we'll all be little old ladies one day if money hungry cosmetic surgeons have their way. Man! What a drag life can be when you can't make your mind up! Me! I just go in boots n' all, sometimes i put clothes on. See i bank at a nudist bank. That way you can avoid sum burn. Maybe strike up a conversation with Ms Robin Redbreast...she rocks...he rocks?...in the bank vault all day long...." Cheers. Some people are so rude they're not worth talking to. READ laugh! Don't be a 'stick it in your mug' Unless you're collecting for a retired bank manager. A penny for his tauts? :>)



About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
Want to write articles too? Sign up & become a writer!

0 comments on Teller it how it is.RIGINAL.



Add A Comment!

Click here to signup or login.


Rate This Article


Your vote matters to us



x


x