Thursday, November 15, 2018

Nipple Slip ... of the Knife

by Hassassin (writer), Los Angeles, October 13, 2006


When it comes to plastic surgery, the saying “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” takes a back seat to an excess-for-access tradeoff in Hollywood. And then there’s Tara Reid. She takes it one step further, altering—befittingly enough—the saying to “if it ain’t broke, break it”.

Gone are the days when the cute blonde with the raspy voice graced Maxim covers, and enjoyed sultry moments with the Rookie of the Year kid eating her America pie; now the only cover Tara Reid is gracing is the charge at the Standard’s club entrance.

So what happened? Well, in the latest issue of Us Weekly Tara Reid talks about one of the most publicized breast augmentations gone wrong, getting them fixed, and the other problems she faced with plastic surgery.

The first question of course, is why any cosmetic surgery in the first place?

"I got my breasts done for the first time because my breasts were uneven. I was a 34-B, but the right one was always bigger than the left. I weigh 110 pounds now, but I always used to fluctuate by 10 pounds, so my skin was kind of saggy. I figured, I'm in Hollywood, I'm getting older, I'm going to fix them."

And that’s when things started going wrong:

"First of all, I asked for big Bs, and he did not give me big Bs. He gave me Cs, and I didn't want them. At all. Right after the surgery, I had some bumps along the edges of my nipples, but the doctor said, 'Don't worry, it's going to be better.' But after six months of 'it's going to get better,' it started to get worse and worse."

Combine that with a lifestyle that leaves the Van Wilder star on more pavements than A-lists, and you can start to imagine where her body took a turn (also, you can probably guess where her self-proclaimed ‘fluctuation’ stems from). Reid even goes on to talk about the impact on her sex life, saying:

"Guys I was dating would be like, 'What's wrong with them? They look really bad. You know, you should really get them fixed.' So embarrassing. I mean, you definitely need to turn off the lights, that's for sure."

Just when you thought you couldn’t fit any more bad decisions in 110 lbs.(plus or minus 10), Reid decided to get liposuction, claiming:

"I got lipo because even though I was skinny, I wanted - I'm not going to lie - a six-pack. I had body contouring, but it all went wrong. My stomach became the most ripply, bulgy thing."

To say the procedure wasn’t a success would be an understatement. Her ‘contouring’ procedure was a bigger disaster than her brother Patrick’s failed clothing store. In fact, combined with the breast augmentation—which she’s now got back under control thank God—she continues to bring new meaning to the term ‘nipple slip’. Hopefully she’ll figure out a way to get her body back to normal, but until then, the next time a barely clothed, barely coherent woman with a bratwurst sewn into her stomach asks you for a menthol cigarette on the Hermosa Beach strand, try to be nice, it might be Tara Reid.

About the Writer

Hassassin is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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2 comments on Nipple Slip ... of the Knife

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By Gur on April 28, 2008 at 05:46 pm

Her last scary pictures:

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By Kirsten on December 11, 2008 at 05:08 am

That's when plastic surgery goes really, really wrong. And I assumed she didn't take heed on the mantra, "don't fix it if it's not broken".

Oh well, she could wear the best nipple covers available to conceal the damage brought by her breast augmentation surgery. And she could also hide those not-so-pleasant ripples in her stomach by not actually exposing it.

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