THE LUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME.
Once upon a Dame atop a high rise cafe Cathedral lived a Lunchback. So delicious was the cuisine Parisians flocked to the sound of the bell which was a recording. "Lunch is served. Get it before the cars that ate Paris." That's what disturbs me about this post even before i continue?
You may say and i have no answer, "if the cars that ate Paris REALLY ate Paris as in digestible 'chomp' then the high rise cafe by law- of- nature and metallic ingestionary succumb, with nary no left over dusty crumb, would not exist to be eaten.
Supposing the cars ate around the base of the Cathedral. I guess then you could say,and rightly so, how did the Dame procure vegies, condiments etc, when indeed the outskirts, inner skirts, of Paris, were non existent?
Simple, As the name implies, Alfresco Lunchback the lead player in the Cafe Cathedral was thus free of his duties allowing him the luxury of becoming the procurer of produce by sheer fact he no longer had to pull his ding dong with a pre corded bell rope due to the fact a pre recorded bell recording simile just needed a flick of the wrist. Alfresco Lunchback didn't actually have a hunchback. Or should i say he did, but it was a refrigerated lightweight inflatable hump.
Why inflatable i hear you ask? Simply because L, deflated his hump to move quickly across the barren countryside unnoticed,no wind resistance, to fill upon arriving at a secret location, fresh vegies from a place unknown, then scurry back with his back laden with procurement in time for the cook to prepare a dish fit for a King...indeed if the King didn't eat he couldn't stay fit and word travels of lousy eateries.
Now you're going to ask, "where is the secret location from whence L filled his backpack?" It's secret! Okay okay please don't leave! The location is a stone's throw from China. The great Wall no less. Third stone down three across is a slightly off color stone which actually is a fridge door some one hundred metres long. At the back of which is a key that fits an underground non edible refrigerated store house tunnel leading back to the Cafe Cathedral. Chung Chang Harold,a Chinese veg grower tends the garden. There is an inbuilt warning system which warns of incoming cars of Paris which eat. But the warning system is just a front to fool snoopers.
Now you ask, where's the story? What's the point? An underground tunnel wouldn't and couldn't run from China to Paris. Okay i'll go fill it in on the weekend. Gosh,talk about nit pickers! Alright then.
Once upon a time a Dame,quite good looking, this is just a hunch, loved a hump. Hump Lunchback loved her back, her front, and her sides. Together they ran a top notch Cafe with no opposition because they owned, with the proceeds of their amazing food fare business,a car yard full of the cars that ate Paris...so you could say in conclusion that they had one hell of a niche business.
NOW! i hear you say cars DON'T eat. Buy yourself a V8 and if it doesn't eat it certainly will guzzle. And that's a prelude to eating in my book. An Eiffel. How come the cars didn't get an Eiffel? V8's imported from Cuba. They ran out of petrol before they got there.
That's how the Cuban Crisis started. I'm going to cook up a 2 minute noodle soup.
Serious, my heart goes out to the Hunchback. What a tragic story. Hope my distorted hunch hasn't got your backs up.