"Hello, Mr. Underbuddy. Sorry for keeping you waiting so long."
"Dr. Dubious, what's the news? Why do you look so worried?"
"It's quite interesting, actually - from a medical science standpoint, that is. Something we've never seen before."
"What? What's wrong with me?"
"I'm not quite sure how to say it... It seems that you have something living within you - an Eye."
"An Eye? Living inside me? What's it doing there?"
"It's doing what eyes do: watching."
"Watching you, everything you do. It's watching all your thoughts, feelings, emotions, words and actions."
"What, like it's judging me?"
"Not exactly. It doesn't seem to care about what you do. It doesn't congratulate you when you're good or chastise you when you're bad. It just calmly observes without getting involved in the drama of your life."
"Well whose Eye is it? Where did it come from?"
"I'm in no position to tell you whose Eye it is, but I can safely say that it doesn't belong to you."
"Well, can you take it out of me? Where exactly is it?"
"Believe me, I would love to slice you open and play around with your innards, but I can't pinpoint exactly where the Eye is. It's not in any one part of you - it's in every part of you. It's almost like the Eye is you. Quite mysterious, quite mysterious."
"But that doesn't make any sense."
"Yes, I know."
"So what am I supposed to do?"
"I'm afraid the medical industry is impotent in matters so bizarre. Sorry."
"That's it, that's all you have to say to me? Sorry?"
"Actually, I do have one more thing to say."
"Well, since you suffer from no known disease or impairment, your insurance will obviously not cover all these tests. You owe me $12,345."