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Monday, December 11, 2017

Is meat a must in our diet? RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, June 16, 2014

Is meat a definite for a body or can a body abstain and still walk upright?

TO MEAT OR NOT TO MEAT: THAT IS THE VEX i'M IN? RIGINAL.

Serious is i. Do we humans NEED to consume meat? What is the minimum meat requirement needed to enable me to stay a while longer next to a four legged cow or such as opposed to underneath the crust of mother earth? Incidently why do they say MOTHER earth?

Are men or were men incapable of mothering mother earth or did she erupt and scoff as man tried in vain,still tries in vain, to change her dirty nappies of meddlesome past and present diminished responsibility that man basically impregnated and underpinned her with in the first place? As men we must take responsibility for her upbringing and decimation and man up.Single file with looks of severe repentance. Please take note God,i was away that day.

Maybe i just answered my own question of why Mother Earth has garnered not...or, much, of a Father figure?

Sorry i'm deviating. I ask my follower, and or her/hearse? before it comes to claim me. Do i have to eat meat and if so how much do i have to eat to stay alive for a while until God possibly gives me a heart attack because i hadn't the heart to consume protein basically because i cook for myself and basically i can't cook and i don't want grease all over the ceiling because it is hard to get off specially when smoke gets in your eyes cos i left the stir fry on too long because i was mowing the lawn and meat takes so long to cook and i have no patience but if i cook like i do much longer i'll end up a patient.

Some sites say eat minimum meat. Some infer that you should eat a cow a week. Some weak cows as you can imagine don't really want to be digested. Would you if you could hoof out of it? Or come away with your ides of March intact?

DO WE REALLY NEED TO EAT MEAT? Would a protein pill suffice, bearing in mind if i had to cook a pill i would probably be mowing the confounded lawn that just keeps growing though i told it in no uncertain terms to stop growing and in the meantime i would probably burn the crap out of the protein pill anyway!

I would eat vegetarian but the last one jumped out of the pan before i could prick him with a fork. Don't get me wrong i am not a cannibal nor do i want to become one because we must, if we have to,eat sensible meat. My mother used to prick everything with a fork...do you have to? Because i only have a spoon. I'm saving up for a good fork. I had a couple of beers down the pub and came home to find i had only bristle sprouts (they were bristling and angry so turned from brussel sprouts into bristle cos they were old) and onions. I flailed them both with my spoon, threw them gently into a pan. Went out to finish the lawn edges...burnt the crap out of them. Up sick all night. Smoke inhalation.

If i must eat meat assuming i get a good fork to practice my pricking what do i buy? What sort of a prick should i buy indeed? Most of them are rich pricks in government positions. Anyone have a spare one in the shed i could have cheap? If it's a used silly one all the better.

What is a good substitute for meat? Sausages? I'm not really into rump steak because 'rump' for some reason conjures up visions of a former girlfriend i accidently stabbed with a blunt spoon (couldn't afford a fork) when i was in the scouts. It was all her fault. Her rump got in the way when i lunged at the pot of boy sprouts stew with my spoon as there was only one spud left because i was seconded whilst the others ate; to mow round the tents...which caught fire because i thought to save time to get that last spud quicker i could burn round the tents with a little mower fuel.

Needless to say i did not get my boy scout 2nd division award nor did any one of the other scouts offer me a bit of rump steak and i wouldn't have accepted it anyway because i have aversion to rump of any kind. I may have mentioned why.

I do like spuds butt. But it's best to eat them separate. I don't take the skin off because dirt is good for you.

I can cook eggs. I eat them shell and all because you have to have fibre in your diet. I ate part of the old dear's rug next door when she asked me to come over and feast on fibre. She got really cross, she went to all the trouble of cooking up some old velvet curtains. Lucky i only ate half the rug. It didn't taste that good anyway. Then she asked me had i seen her miniature che wow wow that had been scratching itself about midway on the rug. Found it under the curtains...we both thought it was curtains for the dog so i guess that was a reasonable assumption. Hate to pull the rug from underneath it.

I ask again. Do i have to consume meat and how much? Or should i go to the butcher and get the chop? I don't want to grizzle but i don't like gristle. Should i consult a pro tein expert or can i rely on you women cooks for your advice as you are the experts in what a guy can or can't digest. Tried to make a meat bawl the other night...not one tear did it shed? I know you can make a moth bawl but that's an old one isn't it? Must go, my sister was down last year and she made me up a large pot of rice n stuff. Should be just about ripe by now. I thought i saw it move! Naah...just my imagination. Eat and be merry. If you are what you eat then i guess it's curtains for me. Or at a pinch...half a doggone rug?



About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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