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Monday, October 23, 2017

Yep, I dig it all. RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, April 24, 2014

Mime along to the mind- shattering discovery of new and improved techniques in mining. Same old shovel load of energy hype but? But progress marshes on...got a sinking marsh mellow feeling?

THE GOOD OIL? riginal

Never ceases to amaze me. The amount of advertising and spiel gushing forth from the energetic energy giant blurbers espousing of shale oil, oil in general etc. Money for nothing,gush for fee? I live 20 minutes away from a huge conglomerate power complex which supplies 22% of the state's power needs for the state of Victoria, the size of England give or take a pom or two.

Coal fired. With enough reserves til the year 2032. After that you will probably have to harness your pets to a electronic ferris wheel and or get the kids to pedal enough power up to see what you're eating or maybe a bonus- eating in the dark?

Our power company has somewhat refined and cleaned up their act as many have done in the interests of health and forced to by regulations. On a clear day you can almost see the smog in China. Most homes here have 'early coal dust' residue in the roof. Making it extremely difficult for Santa to cough himself down ones chimney at xmas time wearing a soot suit and Chinese mask with optional filter.

I'm not so much a greenie as awe- struck by the verbosity of ads on tele these days telling us of regrowth forests, inovative stuff which will make our lives so much better, in fact the holes left behind from mining itself "will grow back"- gives the impression of.

My argument with the way we live is this. If car manufacturers can now paint cars with water- based paint but not perfected for the home handyman as yet, which deletes isocyanates etc then could a bit more effort be put in to rid other materials of carcinogenic ingestion?

Sawdust, silica etc bloody etc from everyday building materials plus the dust from cement and don't tell me YOU tradies all wear masks and observe fine print health warnings. Washing paint brushes down the drains? But worst is the bulldust emanating from my posts which is easy to be rid of. Turn off. But if you do you'll be missing out on one of my bestest ideas.................................I knew you'd read on.

Do we really really need power and light? Indeed may I argue and shed light. If we needed light at night -time then the God of light would have given us 25/7 hrs per daily week natural light. Plus a backup wind-up torch. Only the White-house and possibly the outhouse need light at night.Combine the poo...sorry... two... and it all makes relative sense.

France has a experimental 100% futuristic no smell sewerage system in the middle of a main city. Works a treat ment. Fantastic shit I say. What I'm saying is do we need to suffer the residue of frustrating superseded infrastructure propped up by expensive reinforced hyperbolic ads?

This is my latest brainstorming idea. A GIGGLE factory. Like going to the tip sort of. You load up the car or bike or work boots with nonsensical 99.9% discards. Drive down for example to the giggle gate recycle factory. A cheerful giggling man greets you.

G:" Hi! Top of the moaning to yer. What have y' got to declare any recyclable nonsense ad giggles we can recycle my friend?"

DRIVER:" Not much today G, just a can of 99.9% cleanser 'Piss Off' which restores the stinking rotten discolored grout between your bathroom tiles to original 'shoddy job' gleam. Granny scrubbed all day,cracked a wobbly. The ingredients overcame her, she wobbled,recovered, grabbed a can of offal- based dog food 99.9% gristle containing a pea,(the dog's) painted the gristle on the grout between. Stuck a bit of coarse sandpaper on Alfred's tongue. He licked the grout shiny white but scratched the shitter out of the tiles. Bit of a giggle. Actually three cans to be disposed of. Granny staggered into the oven with a can of 'Blasted Oven off' 99.9% guaranteed to contain no harmful additives except to humans.

Alfred rescued Granny after she lit a ciggie and burnt the blasted house down the when she sprayed with non-stick water based fire acid retardant that accidently mingled with fumes from 'Piss Off.' Granny placed a 100% 'never come off' band-aid on the cut on her recently denuded head. It can be immersed in water and never ever comes off.No, the band-aid...not her head.The cut healed. Can't get the bloody band-aid off! Gran had to have her band-aid sandblasted with non-abrasive alkaline beetroot juice. She now plays lead guitar as a band aid backup with 'Deep purple' headgear. How the hell were we to know a product actually did what it says?"

G:" Yees it's a bit of a giggle. So you have a left over 'Piss Off' can with offal lick marks. Few pieces of Granny blasted off and a purple band- aid. Acidic fume fire mixer retardant container somewhere over the rainbow.How's Granny."

DRIVER:"That's just it. We can no longer how's Granny...she blew the hows up!"

G:" Well look we'll put your load of left overs in the recycle bin...plus Granny, and turn it all into 99.9% giggle. Granny will come out mean green and lean. And the government will give you a box of band-aid solutions to stick your house black back together but there's only one problem."

DRIVER:" What's that?"

G:" The deep purple band-aid may be toxic, does Granny stagger when approached by the fans?"

DRIVER:"Only when the blast proof fans in the ceiling first touched her. The electrician next door disconnected Gran...well, at least 99.9%...she still dribbles currently...specially if it's a long gig.

G:"Must have been a bit of a shock when you got the electricity bill?"

DRIVER:" Bit of a giggle really...you see further investigation revealed that an 99.9% safe oil- drilling team drilling in the backyard was the cause of the explosion."

G:" Did they apologize?"

DRIVER:" In bits and pieces to the mob extracting gas in the lounge from the pocket of shale oil they were extracting from underneath Alfred's indoor kennel."

G:"Gosh it's a wonder Alfred didn't attack."

DRIVER:" Not much point really there was only a tack left which forensic took away as evidence. Their opinion was that Granny's heavy duty stockinged knees rubbing together when she was scrubbing frantically with 'Piss Off' in the shower transmitted friction waves interrupting the incoming nuclear solar signal tower being constructed on top of the microwave being the culprit."

G:" Enough to make one go purple with indignation...but I guess what will be has been."

DRIVER:" Granny will never be a hasbeen. She in a band you know."

G:" Thank God she has that up her sleeve, bit of a giggle for her?"

DRIVER:"Yes she likes to keep busy, breaks the monotony of her 99.9% average life. Staves off the ides boredom."



About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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