It’s been fun drifting through the uncharted terrains of life even if it was for a short while. This might be my last note to this beautiful world, the last trace of my existence that I wish may last long enough for someone to read and realize that I did exist. The devil that's been behind me from the very moment life touched the shapeless lump of me in my mother’s womb has caught up to me now. I can feel its frozen breath over my shoulders and its long fingers around my neck; it chokes me by sucking out the last ounce of hope.
The road in front has shrunk into a fine thread, so fine that I can't see it anymore; I feel its pressure under my foot threatening to break on each step. Hopelessness is something that I am used to enjoying these days, especially the severe pain in my stomach; in fact I am addicted to it now. The poking, pinching, stretching and occasional shower of molten metal inside is keeping me awake and clear, the morphine is an enemy; it drowses and prevents from screaming out loud to the heart’s desire. Pain, pain, the only thing that is keeping me sane, I want to take more and more of it so that the darkness of fear won't engulf me alive. The moaning and crying of my dear ones will pass as I rest my head and spread onto earth as ash, washed away by the rain, carried around by the river, bathed, refined and finally resting gently at a river bed to be brought back to life again, by a tiny seed. Back to this beautiful world but now to spread hope and green.