DEATH BY LONELINESS OR ANGST? riginal.
A triplet in the womb remarked to the other two womb mates who were deriding it because it wanted to be a writer which wasn't supposed to be in its genes. "So you two!" said the would- be writer "get off my back,one wants to be a plumber and the other a Bank manager. I'm going to write!" The budding unformed writer sighed sadly as the ill-informed unformed pair scolded and jostled it, "you know, you can be LONELY in a crowded womb."
LONELINESS-according to a recent study by scientists of lonely people, as opposed to the marital 'norm' relationship which seems to be somewhat of a broken record in a lot of cases-can cause a 14% earlier cessation of breath simply by sheer virtue of the fact that one is single ( unless of course you have a split personality which i guess would place you 28% all up in deathly percentage to karking it before the married folk.
My question is this. Has there ever been a study of the effect ANGST in marriage (you have none?...never been there?) has on the marital persona which may if truth be known- equate to a similar percentage also?
When you think about it even though you're married but you dare write...isn't that,or could that be regarded as loneliness personified? Unless of course your partner is sitting on your knee hanging on to your every word! But you have just released the fretting stamping horse of imagination from the wordstained stable of literary rush, it needs to be fed and it only has ONE saddle. Does your partner dismount the knee in deference to your need or verbally kneecap you like mine used to as a "waste of time?"
I could never explain to my recent ex why i feel compelled to write but i know i don't have to explain to you guys. But i will anyway as i know there's an ad on your tele "you can eat what you like and still lose weight, Glenda will tell you how she was once horrendously fat...and it was LONELY fat! (there's that word again!). Glenda decided to do a turn-around with the help of her husband big Jim. This act destroyed most of the kitchen it was then that Glenda decided "i'm fat!"...let's leave Glenda there for a sec...and return to what this writer is writing, why he's writing i have no idea...neither has he but then again Glenda is busy rebuilding the squashed kitchen...fat chance Glenda!" Sporting fans have a need be it 'gladiator' impulse- or just big Jim not fitting in with Glenda in the kitchen-to let themselves go...a hobby...a release...a desire to imagine at the end of the day what it would be like to WIN! Desire.
When you write it's the same feeling. It doesn't matter how good, bad, ugly, or whether others like the subject...it's you riding that bucking bronco called 'delusions of grandeur' perhaps. Doesn't matter how many times you're thrown or discarded by the critique of the critics...it's you and your passion and you dust the critique off, climb back up on the snorting keypad. Do you know what the epitome of life is? Someone close to you who gives you all the encouragement and more like you would give to a child attempting to ride and seeking balance on a bike without the trainer wheels on for the first time.
And someone there whether you're a child or adult to brush you off and reassure even if they don't quite understand what you're trying to achieve in the writing genre. A dear friend of mine said that she'd rather cut a limb off than cease writing because when you're writing you'll never be alone. You and the steed. And if i die 14% earlier because writing is regarded as loneliness and selfish by some who don't understand and never will, then so be it!
An ordinary man called big Jim remarked as he was driving home with an overmustarded hotdog in his sweating hand after his team lost..."you can take the kitchen out of Glenda but you'll never take Glenda out of the kitchen!" And if she's a happy person why would you want to Jim? Love comes in all sizes...have a great weekend, God's taken the training wheels off, i guess finding a balance in life is hard but understanding and encouragement doesn't cost a dime.