Monday, July 16, 2018

Life's A Gamble. RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, March 10, 2014

There's nothing wrong with a little flutter at the Casino...if you're the owner!

FINGERING THE SLOTS.RIGINAL. When boredom knocks on the temporal lobe and or surrounding areas of your grey brainscape who you gonna call?Ghostbusters? Nup, you wack on some make-up, perfume, slinky dress and you tear out to your local slot machine vacuum cleaner looking like a million dollars. I suspect some women do that too. Kidding, i was just watching the gay lesbian Mardi Gra an Australian event possibly visited by some of you guys/ gals from America? Rich and vibrant outfits bells and whistles all having the time of their lives and doing their 'thing'. Same could be said about the pokies or slots i guess. All the bells and whistles bright lights and If you're rich you come home looking a bit bedraggled pon spending an inordinate amount.

Like all addictions "enough" is never enough. We've all had a go, but some just go and go and go...caught up in the fever of the 'big win'. The all pervading euphoric ether of "one more push" and "did you see that!...if i had of had that and that coupled with THAT i would have won (bout enough to get a taxi home or redeem stuff pawned to enable one to hit those cheeky machines and deal out a finger licking banging bout culminating in a cheque to end all cheques). Countless stories of marriages lost (mine included} because some people cannot be de-programmed/wrenched away, short of tying a rope round their silly necks Western style, hooking them up to hi-ho Silver (horse of bygone days) and dragging them out the door. Or better still.THROUGH IT!

Was commenting on this phenomena of bills gone by the wayside saga of the heady pursuit for nothing gained and much ado about nothing to a guy in my country town. Just finished relating my story when the guy ( i bought a washing machine off him) related of how a woman in the local pub plays the one cent line, just the one line. She lost one million dollars which was all her property and life savings gone down the gurgler. But then on the bright side she probably had a free drink or four and those great little FREE party pies with free sauce of course.

Another chap told me about a retiree guy who received a large cheque for years of toiling. He started to build the walls up on a grand stuck into the slots...the guy said if i didn't believe him he would drive me out to show me the walls,everything overgrown.

Got talking to a volunteer in a charity shop who asked me was i new in town,i explained why and he said "shit! my missus only blew sixty thousand and i cut her card up!" He told me that he warned his missus that should she persist he'd cut her up.

It's funny how you never see the owners of the Casinos playing their machines. It's almost as if THEY know something we don't?

Actually i've invented a pill to stop problem gambling. The pills weigh 300 lb each. You put one on the outside of every door and window of the gambler's house (if they still have one?). If however the gambling persists see your doctor as he might have to prescribe a 'heavier' dose. In extreme conditions the pill can be placed DIRECTLY on the gambler. Look for some this might be a bitter pill to swallow and if in fact you did sitting/swivelling/sliding/spinning on a slots swivel chair after swallowing the 3OO lb anti-play tablet would probably cause the player to become unbalanced...but when you think about it isn't that part of the problem?

Please don't let me dissuade any of you guys from gambling this is not a 'sour grapes' post in fact i wouldn't be surprised if you went out tonight and became besotted with something slotted you may well come home with a 'lump' sum. About five minutes after you swallow my pill and the weight causes you to lurch forward,your stomach smashing the machine door as you go down on the slot. But isn't that a 'null and void' play because in very small letters on the back of the machine it states quite clearly. "Don't blame us for your overindulgement...what about people who overindulge in booze,drugs, who don't give a rat's ass about their kids...YEAH! (in large letters)." YEAH! ...WHAT ABOUT THEM??

Have a great weekend and have a party pie (free) for me...because you're a sensible player who only puts in the slot what all your friends can afford. I mean when you think of it eating a free party pie is a gamble in could burn your tongue on it , lurch forward and head butt the slot machine and start bleeding over it. If you have to be hospitalized make sure you either take the machine into intensive care with you...or at least put a RESERVED sign on the machine til you get back. But therin lies the problem...getting something back! I mean governments always do...

About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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2 comments on Life's A Gamble. RIGINAL.

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By Barbara MacDonald on March 12, 2014 at 02:07 pm

LOL..that pill could work...put a patent on it before someone steals your idea...

I actually get very bored at Casinos, just not my thing... and I hate wasting money in any form...I have worked with too many who could use that money...I would rather give it to them than waste it on some slot machine.I guess I am too it nice to get a "real comment"..what's with all the spammers trolling on here...take care my friend.

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By riginal on March 13, 2014 at 12:57 am

yes Barb but the spammers you must realise are 'real'devious people. When they go to the slots they stick not coins...but SPAM in. Of course the machines spit it back at them in regurgitative disdain as spam does not profit make in Casinos. Shame humans (some) suck it up but i guess in these hard financial times they're all flogging something...all trying to fleece the monetary lamb of its woolly innocence...but just not quite "pulling the wool" over everyone's eyes.Thanks for the comment girl methinks you have a lot of supporters! Nuff said? Or should i add BAAAARRR them?

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