Saturday, September 22, 2018

Don't monkey round with George Foreman. RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, March 03, 2014

Don't monkey with religion or be led around by the hose as Emily was.

Griller. RIGINAL.

Three female gorillas lived in a zoo with an ageing male. George preferred to lay back and watch Animal kingdom. Growing up he lived a pretty hairy life. He developed a bad back didn't get out much, his swinging days were relatively fact relatively speaking he had relatively few relatives left to swing with. He wanted to hand the sexual reins over to a younger male but no-one wanted to horse around and wind up saddled with three females 24/7.

Sexually George had done what was expected of him. His children were scattered in zoos across the world, even though they had mobiles and free internet they rarely contacted him,unless they wanted to borrow peanuts. Of course weary dad always shelled out. Typical kids, more interested in cruising the bars and getting high as giraffes on imported African pre-urinated grass and holding spitting competitions with the arrogant Lamas or pulling faeces and sometimes throwing it at the annoying pointing prying bemused customers who tried to feed them banana fritter leftovers, buttons, and parking fine tickets, which gave both the humans and young gorillas the shits alternatively or progressively so to speak-which the youngsters' rarely did. Unless there wasn't much on the peanut Plasma Foxfurtel, and even then they just grunted like a bored conning tower Russian sailor trying to snag American Navy Seals with his furtive periscope. But i drift, so did the snagged Navy Seal. Towards the beach.

You see two of the previously mentioned female gorillas were devout Catholics. The third younger gorilla however, wore very brief bras and panties. She was indeed a bit of a tramp, a floozy non choosy, a bit sick of the non-existent rump thumping from the disinterested George of the jungle who no longer jingled or indeed wasn't interested in a thriller in Vanilla or any other flavour for that matter. The old boy scratched his and his head trying to read the instructions of his new George Foreman griller, plugged the power cord in, chewed through it out of sheer frustration. George left the zoo, in a box. His last words to the floozy were,"frankly m' dear i think i've come across a snag". To which Emily replied,"i should be so lucky by George! George sighed...said "bye my little hairy fairy i'm going to the promised lamb...the uncooked one! Damn griller!".

The funeral over, Emily got together with the non-drinking Catholic pair and over-imbibed at the wake. In sheer frustration Emily smashed her fist on the bar in rage and bent it after she found out the beer and fermented banana juice had run out. She pulled herself through the bent bar and beckoned the Catholic partners to run off for a right old good time. As luck or lack of it would have it, the trio passed a church. The two Catholic gorillas chorused as one, "lets go in and say three hail Marys!" The drunken randy Emily hissed, hitched her bra up and replied "naaah! let's keep on going and find three male hairies!" The moral is don't try to make a monkey out of your friends. And by George respect your elders or you could be in for a shock!

FOOTNOTE: The two Catholics returned to the zoo after a quick blessing. Emily? God knows! Someone said they heard a rumble in the jungle by the sea but that may have been the Navy Seal trying to disengage himself off the beached Russian's periscope. But that's another joke...or is it?

About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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3 comments on Don't monkey round with George Foreman. RIGINAL.

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By Weronika88 on March 10, 2014 at 01:03 am

I just think about it...more is

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By riginal on March 10, 2014 at 08:27 am


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By riginal on March 10, 2014 at 08:45 am

just wondering why you are advertising your company in Polish Weronika? My ex name's Jadwiga, Pokie uzalezniony. Okrzyki.

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