SHORTEST DETECTIVE STORY. RIGINAL.
Inspector Cramp took the call. Intended suicide. The call came through on a loudhailer as if to reinforce the urgency of his presence. "Inspector Cramp come down off the roof NOW!" The inspector edged forward, it was touch and go. He should be sitting INSIDE his house solving the murder of his wife,but he couldn't he had cramps. "Inspector Cramp come down off the roof NOW! You didn't do it! You had cramps at the time and your alibi "i don't have a wife" was VERIFIED so there's no need to jump." A wave of relief swept over the overworked Inspector. He edged forward, felt a sudden cramp, slipped on the moss covered slate tiles. Pitched forward plummeted headfirst into the waiting arms of Watson thirty feet below. Both men lay groaning on the ground. Watson spoke briefly through his briefs. "I say again I Cramp you are absolved but when you try to get up you can expecta Cramp sir." The inspector lay groaning trying to extricate his foot out of his mouth as the implication of the fact that he couldn't have possibly killed his non-existent wife sunk in. The inspector regained his equilibrium, he had saved himself from his own impending suicide simply by being single. Watson pushed the inspector's false teeth back in. "How did you know that they were my teeth Watson?" "Elementary Inspector your non-existent wife heard the commotion threw them out the widow by gum...by your gums sir in fact!" "Good show Watson." The men in white took the loudhailer off Watson,massaged he and Cramp back into 'Funny fellows' acting studio. Case solved. The audience on the roof rushed forward,clapped,fell about...30 feet!