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Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Honesty

by LifeCherries (writer), South Africa, December 31, 2013

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I have been thinking about the importance of honesty just recently. We all fall into the habit of sacrificing ourselves to the people we love rather than being open and honest.

I recently watched one of the new episodes of Glee where they feature Billy Joel (See YouTube video). The cast have just sung Honesty and it has touched a nerve.I have been thinking about the importance of honesty just recently. We all fall into the habit of sacrificing ourselves to the people we love rather than being open and honest and telling people what we want or what we think. As a result we find that life runs away and we end up doing things we don't like or being in situations we don't want to be in. Or perhaps just ending up being someone we don't want to be.

There is a very small handful of people I can be honest with - in fact I think there is 1 I can be totally
honest with and another who comes a close second, And these 2 relationships have had a huge impact on my life. They offer a listening ear without judgement and total acceptance.

The people who love us should be able to accept us for who and what we are - without judgement.

We tend to not tell the truth in order to keep the peace. But the reality is that in doing so, we are hiding much of the discontent that builds up in our lives and relationships. Which invariably ends up manifesting itself as anger or hatred. And the result of this is that the opportunity for understanding and being heard is lost.

Yes, you run the risk of not getting the reaction you wanted or expected. But those who are close to you should be able to respect the truth and your feelings. Without honesty there is no trust. And without trust there is nothing to build a relationship on.
Honesty is not easy to share or hear. We also don't have to agree with others. But we do need to respect everyone's feelings and viewpoints - it allows for a relationship to grow. And unfortunately to end if that what the truth requires.

If someone cannot deal with the truth, then it is time to move on and create space for like-minded people who are not going to judge you and will accept you for who you are. And love you for who and what you are.

It takes a huge amount of courage to be honest. Not to mention the right timing. Honesty can be delivered with compassion and empathy, but those acts of kindness also belong to ourselves. By being honest, you are being compassionate and kind to yourself and that, is the most important thing.

I would be interested to hear your viewpoints on this subject so go on and leave a message......



About the Writer

Rediscovering myself, my life and finding ways of challenging myself to try new things.
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5 comments on Honesty

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By Barbara MacDonald on January 01, 2014 at 02:59 pm

You have made so many good points here. Honesty is paramont IMHO....even if we don't like what it tells us, at least we then know what we are dealing with. I love that you say that honesty can be delivered with compassion and empathy. I can not even tell you how often over the years when working with people this was exactly what I had to do. It does take courage , yes, especially when being honest with one's self.

Well said...:)

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By Barbara MacDonald on January 01, 2014 at 03:01 pm

* paramount

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By riginal on January 01, 2014 at 11:05 pm

had to go to the library to write comment. Just as i finished it closed down. Selfish gremlins at home,must have fallen out of the Grinch tree? It's funny how men are supposed to be the tougher of the species but when you strip the bravado from the male ego ie: "glad i'm free man"...etc, at the end of the day or more importantly the NIGHT when you're alone with your own thoughts disregarding percentage of blame which is infinite depending pon which end of the marital see-saw you're trying to avoid the sharp heart splinters of an impending breakup; do you have a bit of a weep guys? Nup? Guess that's why women don't wear the insensitive facade of "everything's wonderful...marriage is great...no problems here that i can think of but then i don't like to think too much...grab me a beer!" In summation, imagine if you will the light comes on 2am in the morning. You wake up...either partner. Your ex- to- be says simply. "I don't love you any more!" Disregard the reason. How would you feel in that instant? Distraught? Angry? Confused? Helpless? Emotionally flattened? Can't breathe? Relieved perhaps? And it can happen to anyone including me a veteran of 42 years. The old adage...not how you get knocked down or even out by unhelpful comments or a frayed/snapped string of "it's over."Better to live with yourself NOW than to take on the boarder of 'regret' and have it slowly but surely weigh you down until your inner-truth starts choking you with the reality of your unresolved thoughts that cannot be denied because this is the real YOU! Not a great subject for the New Year God bless us all but at the end of the day the menu of a breakup has so many connotations and different side issues it's a bit daunting to say the least.Just try to be a bit civil i guess and embrace as much happiness as you can in the aftermath. And don't judge. If you are a member of the Brady Bunch fraternity,never had to extend your feelings beyond "what would you like for tea?" As opposed to trying to heat up perhaps leftovers of 'cold comfort' then so be it.Yep...i got a feeling we all tear up a bit when no-one's around. But tomorrow's another day. Honesty before the protocol of a Society that sometimes demands too much of us all at times. Have a great year i won't HOPE everything turns out LC...i KNOW it will! Actually what i meant to say is "be as nice as we can to each other but don't walk a tightrope of lies and deceit...it's a long way down! Cheers.

And almost forgot...what would you ladies like for tea? As if it's any of my business! Sleep well. Hiccups don't last forever.

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By LifeCherries on January 02, 2014 at 12:01 pm

Thank you both for replying. I am comforted in knowing I am not alone in this world. It can be such a nasty place sometimes. We all need to stop being victims - there are so many people to reach out to if only we try. So make it a New Years resolution to start being honest with yourself, first and foremost, and the rest will come easily. You will find you can conquer the world.

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By Barbara MacDonald on January 02, 2014 at 01:31 pm

Amen sister...hugs

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