Who and what we are must not be determined by what others may define you as. In order to be at peace, you need to know your own self, know that you have tried to the best of your ability to understand and find a place of resolution. If the only way to have this happen, means sacrificing your own values system, then it is time to walk away. We all have our breaking point. It exists for a reason. In many ways it is your authentic self telling you that although the part of you that dreams for the best, this is beyond what is possible without the other person being able to acknowledge your feelings and points of view.
What is that point where you finally, after such a long time, come to a place of reality that no longer needs to be a struggle to define? ...In the midst of all the insanity, suddenly you have what many may call a "light bulb" moment. A "knowing" that you need to never struggle again with this...that at last you release it and send it into the universe of lost dreams and hope. You stop dead in your tracks and understand you are at a place of no return. All the crying stops, all the hope is surrendered too, enough is enough.
It is time to stop waiting for things to change, you come to terms with what is true , and open your eyes to see with a new vision , what is actually possible, and what is not meant to be. I am sure you have heard the term "the straw that broke the camel's back"...well we all have our breaking point. Knowing when we have reached it is important, but not always something we can predict.
This brings to mind something from years ago that I am remembering. My ex sister-in-law, who shocked me with what finally was the end of her marriage. Yes, I knew she was not really happy, but this small thing is what pushed her over the edge. Her and her husband of the time were driving down the road on the path to one of the mountain accesses. A cat happened to run in front of their car...What does her husband do?? Well, he speeds up trying to hit this cat. Later when we talked about this, she told me something in her just snapped ...she was not even sure why...but somehow knew it was over. She went home and packed everything up, except his things and their bed , and left that night to never return. Of course this was just a stupid thing, but somehow in that moment in time, she knew with total clarity, that she would no longer deal with his irrational actions.
Life can be like this...We often walk a fine line between what is and what will be. Hovering in indecision, till we have a moment push us beyond our limits of tolerance. I know I myself struggled for years trying to decide what to do in my own marriage. I have never been rash in deciding what is important to me. Especially marriage, where I took my vows so seriously. When you have children to consider, you have to look at what you feel is best for them too. I knew I had to do all I could to try to make it work before walking away. I studied it from every angle , analyzed the hell out of it. Just is a part of who I am, and I do understand why I am this way. I'll talk about that some other time. When I came to a place of peace with knowing I had tried to my best ability, I was then able to leave.
Whatever is the "deal breaker", we may never know, but we do know when we finally see it with new eyes. You learn to stand on your own and take care of yourself...and a sense of serenity is born from this.