We’ve all heard this line before, “You should marry your best friend, the one who knows you best.” It always sounds good, appeals to many and makes lots of sense while choosing a mate or life partner. However,really liking a person versus being in love with them are too very different scenarios. And in my opinion, you should always marry the latter of the two.
Dating, and hanging out with someone you feel completely comfortable around, laugh often with, even enjoy sharing your most intimate secrets during those long walks in the park is something special to behold; almost rare in today’s fast-paced environment. Friends are great, true friends are very hard to find, especially when it comes to trust, honesty, and mutual respect. But, here’s the thing: if you’re completely in love with that special lady the world you’re living in carries a whole other meaning.
I’ve dated women who I really liked, even cared for, but wasn’t in love with. Some seemed to have all the pieces of the puzzle I searched for: caring, compassion, a sense of humor, ability of being on the same page with basic beliefs, even having a way of finishing my sentences. But, the sizzle just wasn’t there, my eyes didn’t light up or heart skip a beat when they entered the room. I really “liked” seeing them and always looked forward to our times spent together, but did I crave their touch or find myself envisioning our future together? Did I carry a deep desire to want more of them in my life?
I’ve known many people who’ve married for the sake of convenience, children, fear of being alone and horror of remaining single forever. Some make it work on the surface because their significant others match their needs on many levels: financially, politically, religiously, parenting skills and someone to have fun with. The years pass appearing somewhat satisfied on the surface. And when college tuition, older age, and thoughts of retirement start becoming reality, their dreams of re-marrying for real love is nothing more than a distant fantasy, something which they might’ve accomplished during their youth if they could only turn back the hands of time.
In all fairness, and for some, marrying or staying with someone you’re merely compatible with is good enough. Sure, they may romanticize about finally meeting their love-of-their-life or the one who fills their sleepless nights, but actually doing something about it is better left to the pages of romance novels or daytime dramas. And many of these couples are ones who simply gave up on meeting “the one” after being cheated on, disappointed emotionally or had unrealistic expectations.
Anyone who’s ever been mutually in love with another, really in love, can tell you it’s worth waiting for and nothing else even compares to the feelings you have when all you want is to be together. So why would you settle for less? Why walk down an aisle with a “pal” instead of the one who spikes your adrenaline through your veins? And how often have we seen those movies where the “other guy or girl” interrupts a marriage ceremony just in the nick of time for the sake of crazy love?—blowing the days rituals wide apart.
Perhaps the best scenario for anyone looking for love is to be in love with your best friend. Talk about the best of both worlds. Just imagine some of these feelings:
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