Image courtesy of the Scottish Daily Record
The picture above I am bottom row, left hand side on one knee, at a time I was taking on the world in pain, sadly the pain got too bad I had to stop being a football manager. I made a decent paid level and it was my life. For anyone outside the USA it is Soccer. I was a Soccer Coach/Manager and won 19 trophies in my 15 years as a Manager/Coach, this was "My thing" It was my world away from life
When the disability hit I was a Baker on a brilliant wage and had to stop. I was put on Disability (Working) as I kept fixing computers when I could as I was also a trained pc technician
This was around the year 2000 all this happened, things were getting taken from me, and pride was the main one. Then 3 years ago I got the news I knew was coming “Shaun, you must stop football or you may end up in a wheelchair” For a year I felt sorry for myself and didn’t want to know anyone, I tried, sorry contemplated taking my own life, I was as low as a person could be. Then I just decided to live. I had given up, my partner Dawn, my two sons Dean (21) Ryan 19) were three people from many who were there for me. Dawn saved my life, but that is for another blog. I came around to the fact I could not Work and was stuck in home and Dawn and I decided we wanted to try for a baby Girl. We had the Money, we had a huge family and friends support base, so we tried and failed and tried and failed and eventually, like waiting on a bus you have one then another comes along, yeah we had two Daughters with 14 Months between them, we were blessed again
My Partner Dawn who is part Swedish
My two sons Dean (Left) and Ryan
Courtney (Left, age 4) and Chloe (Age 3) Brought light to my Dark
So giving in was an option, the pain was making me climb the wall and leaving me screaming in pain, I went from being a well known Soccer boss, to a lad in mid 30’s who had nothing. Then it all changed. I discovered writing, I discovered my Children brought so much to my life and my Partner Dawn really saved me. There is another story from when we were younger; I was a Father aged 17, but maybe another time. For now the message is never give up, when the pain is driving you the wrong way grit your teeth and fight. I know it is easy to say, and I know firsthand it is harder to do, but like you I want to live, I want to be here when my kids get married and all that life will bring. So I had to re-like and re-know myself, I became someone else almost, after this was taken from me, in this picture I am in agony, I remember the day well, a 2 hour photo shoot
My good self (Left) getting a Scottish Coaching award for work with kids, Picture from the Scottish Sunday Mail
Here I am now and I must thank Melanie Jean Juneau (Motherofnine9) for getting me over to Broo to write.
I also have to thank Tony Berkman for being very supportive also, both Mel and Tony have been great for me blogging here. Mel knows my story better than most and one day I will share it, but I am just in the door and trying slippers on here in Broowaha, so it will take time for me to know you and you to know me, I am positive this will happen. I have my own blog page and I also blog for Master Peace. I took it upon myself to share my soul and my darkest secrets and it changed me. I became love. I know this is a saying we can all say, but I did, through pain and knowing others in pain I became compassion and found a caring nature to myself that I always had but didn’t know was so strong.
So the message has to be, no matter what life throws at us, we must keep moving forward. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow will be what is will be and this very moment I am a happy lad. I am truly blessed. Some ask how can I be blessed while in pain, I say “I am breathing” And I am, so I am no miracle, no warrior, no machine, just a lad from Scotland who is as determined as he was in Football to succeed and become part of football who is now determined to become a part of the writing world in a non competitive way, but giving all I have to help others, accept help and opinions and have fun while I do it. I have a saying, and I say it often
More love, less hate