Sunday, January 20, 2019

Love Advice. Who's Qualified?

Credit: inspirations just for you
The love bug.

When cupid's arrow aims at your heart, who's advice do you listen to?

Eyes meet; two bodies and their souls come together. The sparks fly, the clouds part, food tastes better, the fragrance of flowers sweeter, you start walking around in a daze 24/7, everything’s finally making sense and your life has new meaning like never before until…

When things go wrong, or even well, in the arena of love lots of people go looking for advice. They seek out friends, family, psychiatrist’s, astrologers, those grey-haired couples who’ve been married for most of their lives, even their local bartender or barber gets an unwilling ear full of questions and solicitation of how best to proceed. Sometimes, I think the existence of alcohol and drugs were placed on this earth to deal with the ups-and-downs of romance. But, we all need, sometimes, someone to advise us which direction in the fork-in-the-road to take hoping among hopes they show us the way. And when cupid’s arrow strikes your heart, there’s perhaps nothing more powerful, or destructive, than dealing with love.

I’m perhaps the last person on earth who’s qualified to give love advice. I’m fifty now, never married, no children, but not without the ability to love the correct person. I was engaged in my twenties, have had many relationships, even seriously thought of looking for a ring a couple of times. But, trying to find a healthy balance, a right balance, the ability to merge two lifestyles, wants, and desires together has always been challenging even though I’ve been called, ”the smartest guy alive” on more than one occasion by my numerous divorced friends. LOL. I believe in love, but only if the two involved are really meant to be. Some get lucky and find it early in their lives. For others, the highway to love is long and ever-winding.

So, who do you consider best qualified to give those golden words of wisdom when your heart’s either glowing or bleeding? Who can help lead you to that promised land of rosy fulfillment, happiness, grand kids, even great grandkids, and fiftieth-wedding-anniversary-celebrations?

Right now, there are many bloggers, radio and TV personalities, authors, and so-called relationship DR’s willing and ready to serve up their own versions of love advice. We’ve all read and heard them on the airwaves and internet highways, all thinking their words and influence is all that you will ever need. Ever watched, The Millionaire Matchmaker, the old Oprah Winfrey Show, or The Housewives of Wherever? How about, The Bachelor? These shows are hosted and filled with people who’ve never been married, have been married multiple times along with tons of failed relationships and are still alone, or are always in the middle of some personal dramas at home, love-related. Yet, they always seem to have the golden answers while their personal lives aren’t exactly following most’ idea of successful relationships. Perhaps, what they have works for them because everyone’s individual translation of love is different. But, my version of love success has always been about dedication, mutual respect, honesty, and a chemistry which lasts through time. It’s all about being there for each other, or never causing harm even when the bad times come and go--A hard, and sometimes elusive existence to catch, I know. But, it does happen, when two share a committed willingness to make things work, or engage in a peaceful departure when they don’t.

The past few years, I’ve learned to follow and study the ways of the successful, both on a personal and professional level. I didn’t used to do this, but it’s definitely made a difference in my life. My experience as an author for example; I enjoy reading what drives successful writers: their work habits, what gives them inspiration when needed, and who do they turn to when advice and encouragement is wanted. The same goes for love. I look at those couples who’ve had long-lasting love and how they’ve managed to stay that way. What drives their desires to stay together, what makes them stay true, what keeps that certain spark aflame, and what lets them know daily that they’re with the one.

Our modern society has changed the definition of relationships as to what is normal. It all goes along with the so-called liberal movement, experimentation, and alternative lifestyles. The success rate among couples is deteriorating and becoming less and less traditional. For some, it works, but for most, it’s a revolving door of moving on to the next chapter. I, for one, prefer to learn from those who’ve made it work decade after decade from years past--those with great grand kids and still holding hands during daily walks in the park. Most have stated the same answers over and over: commitment and the realization that there love is true. And for me, those who walk the walk on the jagged roadway of love and success are the ones to learn from, to gain advice from, while watching rather than asking.

Thanks for listening…

About the Writer

Randy Mitchell is a blogger on lifestyle, writing and relationship topics and is a published author of inspirational romance. His first novel "Sons In The Clouds" is available in paperback on Amazon. To read more about Randy, visit
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4 comments on Love Advice. Who's Qualified?

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By Barbara MacDonald on April 30, 2013 at 01:55 pm

Very good article Randy, thank you....Is interesting as I got paid to give advice in so many different areas...but it certainly is easier to give advice to some one else rather than yourself... You kind of nail it though...learning from those who have managed to stay committed for years makes sense. Think I will just trust my heart...:-)

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By Randy Mitchell on May 01, 2013 at 10:21 am

Thank you, Barbara. I appreciate your comments. Yes, trusting your heart is always best. Nowadays, it seems as though people are looking everywhere for love answers but keep making the same mistakes. I've learned to follow the ones who are successful, both in love and in other areas of life. Thanks again!

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By Coach Phatty on May 06, 2013 at 08:55 pm

Very, very nicely written Randy. It takes much committment, love and dedication to stay with the one you love...through the "thick and thin" than to just "abandon ship" when things go wrong or a person's partner doesn't "put out" any more!! I am totally with you my friend. My wife and Iare celebrating our 22nd Anniversary this year!

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By Randy Mitchell on May 08, 2013 at 08:57 am

Thank you, Coach Phatty. And congratulations on your anniversary! You two are proof that relationships last when effort is given.

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