Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Ken and Barbie. Can they ever be a couple again?

by riginal (writer), moe australia, July 20, 2013

Credit: free.
Canandy sleepover?

Has modern society succrumbled to the cosmos of gizmotic him n' her 'transformer' mentality'? Or do we humans need a 'shocking reversal' makeover?

My computer came on to me - it's 'bout the only thing that does these days - to inform me in cryptic letters that FAT 32 file needs to be checked?

I don't know whether it's having a go at me or not? The world is changing so rapidly with humancomp intercourse. It seems like only yesterdayIi asked the President of Broowaha Mr Tony Berkman "are Ken and Barbie still together?" Actually it WAS yesterday.

Tony can't be running round like Barbie on a surgical uplifting shopping spree answering inane questions. I would like the viewers to enlighten me. The last time I was enlightened was at a cattle ranch in Texas at a barbeque.

I unintentionally sat on an electrified cattle prod. A tornado had at that instant dropped a high voltage line on the power grid feeding the old fashioned cattle prod connected a 'cord' ingly to the power griddle.

The ranch owner Ken Hoofnbeef had purchased this full- size blow- up simile of the real Barbie on E-Babe. A sleazy plastical, extrusioned, sensationalistic, regurgitated, 'copycat' company appropriately called 'Blow Me Up.'

She was flat out serving the guests when she tripped and fell. Being the person that I am I bent over in a reverse leg grip, a mistake in retrospect, and it was over in a flash.

Why was the cattle prod clipped between Barbie's cleavage?. You wouldn't want someone sitting on it accidently now would you? Barbie's boobs were the perfect insulation ie: no power to earth which could have caused an enormous shock had anyone been silly enough to lift a tripped Barbie up wrong way round, sit accidently on her C prod when a stray high electric current hit.

I was silly enough to do just that. Barbie and I lit up the rather sombre 'steak munching' mood in a duel 'dancing with the stars' on that overcast jockshock day.'

Onlookers clapped as Barbie power blew her steak and plastic imbedded instant kidney portions off her foil plate to the wind. The shocked B grabbed me in a mutual spasmodic cross-legged grip, round my torso, and once round my neck with an 'alert' pinky in my ear.

We lit up in a perfect electric harmonious side- stepping French Follies dervish 100 metres down the fresh pattie strewn paddock until we hit yon barbwire fence. 'Catherined The Great' in a double wham bangy evening day step with prod. It was an unwanted batonical passover prance. Three steers leaning on the fence had their V elbows blown into T-bone steak. They recovered.

Warning! If you ever go to a get together and a voluptuous 'Barbie' wearing an old- fashioned cattle prod clipped to her clackers, steer clear!

We buried Barbie that day. We layed Barbie to wrestle under the old plastic oak tree in Barbie steer Land.

Ken, the 'Double B' ranch owner wept. I got the blame for trying to de-prod her. 500 steers turned up. Most shook my hand, except for the steer trio with burnt elbows. The cattle prod couldn't be removed from B's BB's without Ken's permission. So that was a 'pain in the backside' buried assunder from the cattle. They grinned.

This brings me back to the 'real' falsified Ken and Barbie. Did they not get sick of each other and divorce after many 'plastic' surgery operations?

Ken and Barbie were created in 1961 were they not? What a wonderful idea and good luck to the original person who designed the 'straight couple.'

Though with today's 'societificational bentification idealism approach 'anything goes' Mowan and Wan..., speaking of the Chinese modern day couple; Woman and Man, who seem to have blurred into an inseperable couplistic plastificational 'unification' deviation from a once 'clearly' delineated species?

Don't get me wrong here, I'm as meltable as the next 'modern' man. If you want to interchange then far be it for me to intervene against your melding attempts to prod nature and intermingle the chromozonenical ideas and thoughts of a 'new' breed of Andy mix n' matches with Candy.

Indeed! One day a new figure called 'Canandy' may grace our toyyob toylrig modernistic sci-fi shelves. New age kiddies may say to their parents, tongue in cheek, "Maddy and Dummy...can Canandy both have a sleepover tonight n day?"

I was going to produce a Kim and Jong NUCLEAR married couple with all the balls and missing whistles until my missus pointed out, and rightly so, that Kim Jong is ONE.

This begs the question...ONE WHAT?

Any further information on Ken and Barbie is most welcome. I reiterate with implicationary caution, DO NOT attempt to pick up an inflatable B at a barbeque with an electric cattle prod clipped in her cleavage during a 'power spike' unless you're a foot- loose fancy- free fan of 'dancing with the stars? When you think about it a little deeper, some 'plastic enhanced' women can B alluring, but a touch shocking!

About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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2 comments on Ken and Barbie. Can they ever be a couple again?

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By TonyBerkman on July 20, 2013 at 11:59 pm

rginal I translated this for you at

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By riginal on July 21, 2013 at 06:34 am

Tony you are a major player in what a man should be to all men and women. To be honest i started to look up the site one night and fell asleep as it was pretty late and my missus started shouting out,"you're missing out and i won't reheat it!"

I thank you kindly, you're very kind. I wonder constantly if Ken and Barbie are like a lot of people. Peel back the plastic and "togetherness" takes on many connotations. Did they get sick of the pretence and living up to other people's ideas of marital utopia? Is there such a thing? Do women sometimes dream that a handsome stranger with a portable compressor will one day blow boredom out the window and take their breath away? Women you deserve more but a hard working hubby is hard to beat. But if you must...beat him with a number nine feather...

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