In order to actually let go of something that is holding us back, we have to analyze the feelings associated with it. It is very interesting, although we think it is anger we feel, in reality it is perhaps hurt. That is the thing about emotions, they can blend and being totally honest with ourselves to get to the core of what we are feeling can be confusing. This is a very hard process when we are talking negative emotions, which we do not want to acknowledge to ourselves, let alone someone else.
Powerful emotions like love, regret, anger, grief, fear, hopelessness, helplessness, disgust, sorrow, jealousy may be associated with a particular event. Because of this, it is even tougher to break free from. In reality, you are dealing with two different things...the event itself, and the emotions connected to it.
They become linked together in our minds. One of the first steps to release this is identifying the true emotion correlated with it. Let's say for example, you put your hand into a flame. Your physical instinct will be to pull away from the pain from this. Physical and emotional reactions often are not that different...we feel pain, we pull away. There are many kinds of emotional pain, and they are not easy to deal with. But unlike physical pain, if we pull away it is not always the best reaction.
When we do this we leave a raw spot in our hearts . Putting a scab over it is most likely not going to work. The emotion will come back again and again, until we finally are able to face it, identify it and make peace with it. Denying your negative feelings is like leaving your hand in the flame and walking away so you do not have to watch.
Somehow we interpret negative feelings as bad. In reality, I do not believe that to be true. Our feelings are there for a reason. They very much serve as a guide to our inner heart . Admitting to them is the first step in being able to let go of them and find peace .
It is not easy to say that you still feel anger and hurt about something done to you. Especially if you have been stuffing those emotions and feelings, burying them under layers and layers to protect yourself. Building walls to feel safe.
When we first look at anger we may not recognize that underneath it may really be frustration, hurt, disappointment or some other feeling. Even if you tell no one else, be honest and admit your true feelings to yourself.
Once you do this, you are much closer to letting go of this negativity and moving to a place of peace within.