IS PARANORMAL NORMAL? riginal.
You have to laugh? Why do people say that? You don't have to laugh at all. You can be a misery guts. You may have a paranormal bank account. You may have a paranormal bank. Apparitions of dollars with no visible strings attached appear out of thin air conjured up by a paranormal bank manager with a ghastly...ghostly voice. An expensive pen hovers out of the BLUE suspended in disbelief at the interest accrued on your paranormal loan. A weary farmer wearing suspenders stands suspended in suspense by circumsional debt. They say misery loves company. If you WERE in misery you wouldn't want lovely company. There's no such thing as a "lovely" company. It's just a miserable place where everybody is so miserable that they sit at their boring bog standard miserable desks in near Miss Apprehension. The gloomy "no one gives a shit about me!" Miss Apprehension nearby, out of sheer shittyness has dobbed you in for flicking across a miserable porn site accidently from whence a Russian wench is trying to put a miserable smile on your dial with her Vodkalarific low calorie boobs with enough boom power to raise your spirits and boom. You see Helga wants to leave Russia and fly her boisterous newly born 'twins' to America where they'll have a chance to be educated in the right and left politics of "hands on" demographic democracy and perhaps entice the gentleman that sponsors them, with a rerun of 'Twin Peaks' and 'Waves of his Dives.' Or more to the point, the old favs 'Gigglin's Islands' and 'Home and a Weigh' with 'Pickers' on the side as backup.
Do you see what I've done? I have indeed got your backup...and Helga's and made her twins 'down at the mouth' also. I know you American people are very similar to Australian people in that you walk upright on all "fores!" I'm talking golf. There arse/is some other similarities. You are not only following a Russian bride on sight...you also have Briden on site? Gosh how lucky can you be? I believe that all politicians should be changed like socks. At least once a week as they start to stink beyond that period and their policy's need re-dying or maybe they already have? Darn is all I can say! But they're a cuddly lot and after they've been through the wringer, a quick blow dry and minimal fluff removal should keep the creases out of them. After Helga's 'fluffy cuddly blow dry' I would suggest the same be applied to the pollies just to keep them on their toes and promote flexible tinea free joint dispensation. I hope I spelt Briden right? I know there's a B involved.
Okay...are yews feeling a little less miserable now as I do know snow loses its glow. How's this for stupidity? Two Australian women are driving along at dusk and their GPS lady 'Good driver' tells them to turn left into a dam. So they did! Actually I love all your programs but the reason I delved into the paranormal is that they take thousands of dollars worth of equipment for example into a Denmark dungeon and scuffle around until a chandelier starts shaking and the rest aren't because the large rent-a-rat in the ceiling can only shake one bloody chandelier at a time. Did they get up in the ceiling to interview the rat?...NO! I bet if Helga was up there yanking they would have been rushin'?
Next, a camera moves ever so slightly...I didn't see it move? I want to see a real live ghost sort of thing that clearly says "piss of you idiots, and go chase a Yeti!" I would like to ask all you women over there that believe in the paranormal. When is the last time you felt or saw movement from your husbands/boyfriends when sport is on? Or when Helga's washing her socks? Has anyone seen a yeti yet on the supposed yeti mountain where yeti's meet to yeti fi the descision to sponsor Helga? Apparently the head Yeti got ahead of himself and Yeti still couldn't get a firm body of support and that's what I think you people over there need and have a right to because you people ARE America.
In conclusion if there's any way I can help out to make your lives just that little bit brighter let me know what size batteries you take...I'll throw in the globe...don't reflect too long on this offer though...AND DON'T FEEL MISERABLE!!!...it will pass...like your nightshift at night! cheers....