Friday, July 20, 2018

Menopause, an Orgasm, and a Bowl of Spicy Chili

Just testing a menopausal woman's greatest desires, is all!

What do being menopausal, having an orgasm, and eating a bowl of spicy chili have in common?

Each can bring on shivers to near convulsions; each can cause you to break out in hives and/or full sweat. And each of these can quite unexpectedly stir from within a colorful dialogue composed from thin air, making you believe you are speaking in tongues; a rather perverse manifesting phenomenon, from an otherwise once-calm and quiet reserved individual.

If you were to test a menopausal woman’s greatest desire, offer her the choice between a slice of very fudgy chocolaty cake (and don’t be stingy now), glazed with chocolate ganache, and a glass of earthy and fruity zinfandel—with heavenly notes of berries, cloves, nutmeg and cinnamon—and a steamy session with the love-of-her-life in a private hayride on a moonlit, stargazed night. Guess what she’ll choose? Hands-down, that slice of cake and glass of wine will win-out almost every time.

I’m just sayin’ here is all. No need to get all steamy under the collar. Fact is fact!

This was taken from a wide consensus from severely menopausal personalities; the gauntlet was cast and we all agreed. Don’t come between a menopausal woman and her chocolate and wine!

I think the song from Mel Brooks’ “Blazing Saddles”, sung by none other than the beautiful, late, Madeline Kahn, said it best.

I'm tired
Sick and tired of love
I've had my fill of love
From below and above
Tired, tired of being admired
Tired of love uninspired
Let's face it, everything below the waist is kapput!
I'm tired!

But when that hunk of chocolate cake and glass of zinfandel have been devoured, and if energy and desire is left to spare, I say, Bring it on Lover!

We dream a life to be; we live to dream that life! (vka)

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HomeRearedChef is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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6 comments on Menopause, an Orgasm, and a Bowl of Spicy Chili

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By melanie jean juneau on February 01, 2013 at 11:15 pm

ha funny. I am lucky to have escaped all symotoms so far???

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By riginal on February 02, 2013 at 08:52 am

HRC I wish you would cut it out! You girl should be arrested for inciting menopausal women to have heated riots. Your recipes reek of sexual inourendos. You use words such as 'firm,' 'succulent' 'scrumptious!''heavenly bliss.' Subliminal massaging of 'come up n' see me some time' mae west 'come on'.You've got my missus sucked in. Forced to dress up as a chilli the other night. Knocked on the front door. Missus says, "why do you want to come in?" "Because I'm chilli out here dear!" Door opens...throws me overcoat! slams door in my face.She filled the bathtub with chocolate and dipped me in it the following night. Nibbled my ear, started whining, took a bite out of my chocolate chilli, slapped my face! All we ask for is a fair shake. Can't we meet you women somewhere in the middle? For what gaineth a hot woman in the best time of her life if the person who cares for her the most ends up peppered with chilli? I say, rock on with the Hot Chilli Peppers. You are not alone. We hear yews...CONSTANTLY!...cheers. May the fudge be with you.

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By Barbara MacDonald on February 02, 2013 at 05:03 pm

I think I may have to disagree with you here my sweet lover or a piece of cake and wine? well I seldom drink, and I often get so busy with life that I forget to I would prefer a sweet lover's all good though...:-) maybe I can eat that cake in bed with a glass of wine? LOL...

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By riginal on February 02, 2013 at 07:31 pm

Barb who am I to argue with a woman with such a lovely demeanour. I say live and let lick myself? You can have your cake and eat it too you i've heard?

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By Uttam Gill on February 03, 2013 at 01:04 am

Virginia never knew that illustration with humor can be so intense… certainly this piece of writing has bowled me out…I need to disarm myself to arm with a mood so as to qualify for to comment here on your article…lol…So I am now…. of wine blend with passion is enough to shift one’s mood…stretch the mood…extend the thoughts…give the space to passion…surely it would in turn make you sing this way (With all respect to Madeline Kahn)

I'm stirred want and want so much of love I've have yet to have my fill of love From below and above so less being admired Hunger, that love inspires Let's face it, everything below the waist is operant I'm stirred

Don’t come between a menopausal woman and her chocolate and wine?????? It’s worth venturing …the one who dares will have woman, chocolate and wine too…what else one needs…lol

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By HomeRearedChef on February 07, 2013 at 03:45 pm

Uttam, I sure hope your better half knows just how romatic of a man you are. You, dear friend, have passion, love, poetry and zest for life oozing. Your comment reads like chocolaty poetry. "...the one who dares..." *Shiver* Thank you for the visit!!! :)

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