REAL STORIES
BY REAL PEOPLE Search
Monday, December 18, 2017

“The Stepford Husband” A Menopausal Woman’s Fantasy

Credit:
A sketch from a mural by AMA.

Imagine if you will, a world where women afflicted with Menopausal Syndrome are pampered, loved, understood, and dare I say (I dare!), worshipped by our male counterparts.

A world with "Stepford Husbands!" Now that’s a world I can certainly live in, happily basking in coddled indulgence, in spite of the constant nuisance of hot flashes and irritability!

Imagine this: your “Stepford husband” has prepared a foot-spa with perfectly warmed water, lavender scented, for your tired, aching and swollen feet. He is smiling adoringly, smelling delicious of his woodsy and spicy scented cologne, dressed in perfectly tapered jeans and pull-over V-tank-top, showing off his matured though chiseled body, painstakingly kept well all these many married years. He has gone the full length to make sure you are as relaxed as you deserve to be.

After a session such as this, how could Menopause possibly annoy or irritate?

Imagine still: the house looking spic and span—dishes and laundry done, the beds made, the floors swept and carpets vacuumed, the front and back yards manicured to utter perfection. You and your home, and your “Stepford husband,” make for being the envy of the neighborhood.

Surely Menopause has no place to set roots of annoyance and irritability here!

And imagine still: After a long and exhausting day of shopping at the mall, trying on clothes and shoes, and discouraged to find that nothing fits to your liking—and the mirror has become your worst enemy—because, since becoming menopausal, you’ve put on a few hefty pounds and now find yourself very much out of shape. But you’ve arrived home to find that your “Stepford husband,” your tuxedo and tie dressed adoring mate, has a candle-lit dinner waiting on the table, and a bottle of bubbly, chilled, perfect to swig and swallow after every rich and delicious bite of home prepared food.

Like a soft wind blowing, he hurries to greet you at the door, tenderly showering you with hugs and kisses, whispering words that assure you that you are the most beautiful woman on Earth. You are perfect just as you are. The world spins and disappears, and you melt in his arms.

Remember, its only menopause that has warped your vision of You!

Now dare to further imagine this: after a grueling day of listening to Menopause, harassing and making you feel worthless and insignificant; in the bedroom, you luxuriate in the arms of your “Stepford husband”, with lights dimmed and Bolero softly playing in the background. His strong, masculine hands begin worshiping your body; he coos words in the most considerate and tender way and pecks and nibbles in your most secret places he knows you have come to expect.

You’ve never known or imagined lovemaking could be so amazing, no, not from anything you’ve ever read from any wild romance novel.

You happily surrender to this moment. You’ve earned it, after all.

So Menopause, hot flashes and irritability, be gone!



About the Writer

HomeRearedChef is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
Want to write articles too? Sign up & become a writer!

12 comments on “The Stepford Husband” A Menopausal Woman’s Fantasy

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By melanie jean juneau on January 22, 2013 at 11:57 am

WOW :)

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By HomeRearedChef on January 22, 2013 at 12:18 pm

@motherofnine9, I know, right?! :)

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 0
By riginal on January 22, 2013 at 07:28 pm

listen HRC with the womanopause, i know it's not EZ E. I'm sorr E i have to disagree. I have tied a note to your husband describing your outrageous thoughts and wanton behaviour to a homing pigeon. He's on his flapping way and boy are you going to cop it! I'm suggesting you take a fully clothed stepback from that Stepforward chap that you're having an affair with! Us men have desires TOO! We feel pain when you women turn the jack handle the wrong way and let our cars down on us whilst we're we're working underneath them ignoring yews! What happened to your wedding vow? "For better or curse?" If i receive a recipe for a stuffed pigeon al la' 'Mind your own bloody business' NOTE: i'll know it's a step too late! To all women. Tell us your wants and we'll service them. But we can't when you're jumping up and down on our cars! I'm dying here! I just heard my missus on the mobile talking to some backward Stepforward guy. See what you've started? There's a pizza guy hunk at the door lighting up some candles...see what you've started? I can only hope my missus comes by later and jacks me up! See what you've done?...cheers.

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: -1
By riginal on January 22, 2013 at 07:30 pm

listen HRC with the womanopause, i know it's not EZ E. I'm sorr E i have to disagree. I have tied a note to your husband describing your outrageous thoughts and wanton behaviour to a homing pigeon. He's on his flapping way and boy are you going to cop it! I'm suggesting you take a fully clothed stepback from that Stepforward chap that you're having an affair with! Us men have desires TOO! We feel pain when you women turn the jack handle the wrong way and let our cars down on us whilst we're we're working underneath them ignoring yews! What happened to your wedding vow? "For better or curse?" If i receive a recipe for a stuffed pigeon al la' 'Mind your own bloody business' NOTE: i'll know it's a step too late! To all women. Tell us your wants and we'll service them. But we can't when you're jumping up and down on our cars! I'm dying here! I just heard my missus on the mobile talking to some backward Stepforward guy. See what you've started? There's a pizza guy hunk at the door lighting up some candles...see what you've started? I can only hope my missus comes by later and jacks me up! See what you've done?...cheers.

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 0
By riginal on January 22, 2013 at 07:30 pm

listen HRC with the womanopause, i know it's not EZ E. I'm sorr E i have to disagree. I have tied a note to your husband describing your outrageous thoughts and wanton behaviour to a homing pigeon. He's on his flapping way and boy are you going to cop it! I'm suggesting you take a fully clothed stepback from that Stepforward chap that you're having an affair with! Us men have desires TOO! We feel pain when you women turn the jack handle the wrong way and let our cars down on us whilst we're we're working underneath them ignoring yews! What happened to your wedding vow? "For better or curse?" If i receive a recipe for a stuffed pigeon al la' 'Mind your own bloody business' NOTE: i'll know it's a step too late! To all women. Tell us your wants and we'll service them. But we can't when you're jumping up and down on our cars! I'm dying here! I just heard my missus on the mobile talking to some backward Stepforward guy. See what you've started? There's a pizza guy hunk at the door lighting up some candles...see what you've started? I can only hope my missus comes by later and jacks me up! See what you've done?...cheers.

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 0
By riginal on January 22, 2013 at 07:30 pm

listen HRC with the womanopause, i know it's not EZ E. I'm sorr E i have to disagree. I have tied a note to your husband describing your outrageous thoughts and wanton behaviour to a homing pigeon. He's on his flapping way and boy are you going to cop it! I'm suggesting you take a fully clothed stepback from that Stepforward chap that you're having an affair with! Us men have desires TOO! We feel pain when you women turn the jack handle the wrong way and let our cars down on us whilst we're we're working underneath them ignoring yews! What happened to your wedding vow? "For better or curse?" If i receive a recipe for a stuffed pigeon al la' 'Mind your own bloody business' NOTE: i'll know it's a step too late! To all women. Tell us your wants and we'll service them. But we can't when you're jumping up and down on our cars! I'm dying here! I just heard my missus on the mobile talking to some backward Stepforward guy. See what you've started? There's a pizza guy hunk at the door lighting up some candles...see what you've started? I can only hope my missus comes by later and jacks me up! See what you've done?...cheers.

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 0
By riginal on January 22, 2013 at 07:30 pm

listen HRC with the womanopause, i know it's not EZ E. I'm sorr E i have to disagree. I have tied a note to your husband describing your outrageous thoughts and wanton behaviour to a homing pigeon. He's on his flapping way and boy are you going to cop it! I'm suggesting you take a fully clothed stepback from that Stepforward chap that you're having an affair with! Us men have desires TOO! We feel pain when you women turn the jack handle the wrong way and let our cars down on us whilst we're we're working underneath them ignoring yews! What happened to your wedding vow? "For better or curse?" If i receive a recipe for a stuffed pigeon al la' 'Mind your own bloody business' NOTE: i'll know it's a step too late! To all women. Tell us your wants and we'll service them. But we can't when you're jumping up and down on our cars! I'm dying here! I just heard my missus on the mobile talking to some backward Stepforward guy. See what you've started? There's a pizza guy hunk at the door lighting up some candles...see what you've started? I can only hope my missus comes by later and jacks me up! See what you've done?...cheers.

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By riginal on January 22, 2013 at 07:30 pm

listen HRC with the womanopause, i know it's not EZ E. I'm sorr E i have to disagree. I have tied a note to your husband describing your outrageous thoughts and wanton behaviour to a homing pigeon. He's on his flapping way and boy are you going to cop it! I'm suggesting you take a fully clothed stepback from that Stepforward chap that you're having an affair with! Us men have desires TOO! We feel pain when you women turn the jack handle the wrong way and let our cars down on us whilst we're we're working underneath them ignoring yews! What happened to your wedding vow? "For better or curse?" If i receive a recipe for a stuffed pigeon al la' 'Mind your own bloody business' NOTE: i'll know it's a step too late! To all women. Tell us your wants and we'll service them. But we can't when you're jumping up and down on our cars! I'm dying here! I just heard my missus on the mobile talking to some backward Stepforward guy. See what you've started? There's a pizza guy hunk at the door lighting up some candles...see what you've started? I can only hope my missus comes by later and jacks me up! See what you've done?...cheers.

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By riginal on January 22, 2013 at 07:33 pm

SORRY about the duplication somebody as it wasn't going through so my IT daughter took over!

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By HomeRearedChef on January 23, 2013 at 10:17 am

LOL! Oh, Riginal, you always get my sides shrieking. Thank you!! And I LOVE that "Stepforward guy", you give me an idea. Now see what YOU've started!!! :)

Many happy cheers to you, too, Amigo.

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By riginal on January 23, 2013 at 11:42 am

HRC you're welcome. I firmly believe that guys suffer from some sort of similar pause.Or was I born cranky? Said to my missus last night in bed "you're lucky you've had such a great relationship with such a loving wonderful man all these years" She got out of bed grabbed her mobile and said "thanks for reminding me...ssshhh! I think I've still got his number here somewhere!" ?????

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By HomeRearedChef on January 23, 2013 at 12:21 pm

Riginal, you know how to make someone smile AND laugh. Thank you! :)

 Report abuse



Add A Comment!

Click here to signup or login.


Rate This Article


Your vote matters to us



x


x