Conduct yourself with Dignity at all Times. riginal.
If I could just be serious for a few minutes. I was flicking through the channels-I put the remote down. I had one eye on the tele one on the remote. It makes one look like a madman but it is good eye gym. Unless the whim changes...and it did. The missus lunged at the remote. I sprawled across the coffee table and slid. On the way through I cracked my head on the china dog statue...it yelped. It drew blood but the remote was mine. "You're childish!" I laughed. Bloody statue, it was on the move again.
I'm a flicker with attention deficit. But this program caught my eye. How can a program catch your eye? What if the program dropped it and it rolled along the floor, the china dog swallows it? You couldn't focus on the program because you could no longer see eye to eye?
"Have you ever been to a party and a sexy woman raises eyebrows?" My wife elbowed me in the stomach (lost her elbow!) and hissed "that woman hither has raised a room full of eyebrows. She looks like the leaning tower of eyefull." I was sucked in. I walked over to the woman and said "excuse me Ms Eyefull Tower you raised a heap of eyebrows."
She jutted a shapely hip and said "I certainly do would you like to come see in the bedroom. The missus was busy punching the punchbowl and it was only her fourth round so when the bell rang for the start of the fifth and she fell headfirst IN the punch...dropping two points, I thought it would be a while before she came round six so I followed the lady into the bedroom and lo and be old there grew a plantation of raised eyebrows. Row upon row ready to be harvested. She switched the light out and whispered "see how they glow in the dark? Would you like to meet the head of production Madam Lash."
Now I'm a one woman man man, and I was stung by this overture and lashed out. So did Madam Lash. What had started as a tour of a legit hi-brow business was starting to turn into a low-brow sordid "whip around." I pride myself on self restraint. I removed the restraint by self, saw the light, stormed out.
My wife Judy was now swimming in the punchbowl, going round for the 10th time. Disqualified for head-butting the bowl. My missus raised a few eyebrows and I didn't want them crossbreeding with Madam Lash's so we left the party like refugees from a Punch and Judy show, still showing a modicum of self-restraint until we got home.
By the time I got the rind out of my wife's hair and she de-lashed me we fell fast asleep in each others sticky arms. What I'm trying to say is this. If you go to a party watch your p's and q's. Especially if you're a bit tipsy and you miss the punch lime which is;
"Conduct yourself with the utmost decorum.Don't let people think you're uncouth and have no manners. Otherwise people won't let you fight over their punchbowl...let alone lash out and swim in it with your hi-heels on.
Seriously, my wife wasn't actually swimming in it, I lie...she was dog paddling when she was disqualified. This happened a long time back. We stay home now and soak in the fishbowl, and fight over the bloody dog and the remote. Madam Lash went into Russian politics...THAT raised a few eyebrows re: Putin the cat among the Kreme lin...cheers.