Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Party yes...but don't go overboard. riginal.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, January 25, 2013

We all like to have a great time but don't raise eyebrows.

Conduct yourself with Dignity at all Times. riginal.

If I could just be serious for a few minutes. I was flicking through the channels-I put the remote down. I had one eye on the tele one on the remote. It makes one look like a madman but it is good eye gym. Unless the whim changes...and it did. The missus lunged at the remote. I sprawled across the coffee table and slid. On the way through I cracked my head on the china dog yelped. It drew blood but the remote was mine. "You're childish!" I laughed. Bloody statue, it was on the move again.

I'm a flicker with attention deficit. But this program caught my eye. How can a program catch your eye? What if the program dropped it and it rolled along the floor, the china dog swallows it? You couldn't focus on the program because you could no longer see eye to eye?

"Have you ever been to a party and a sexy woman raises eyebrows?" My wife elbowed me in the stomach (lost her elbow!) and hissed "that woman hither has raised a room full of eyebrows. She looks like the leaning tower of eyefull." I was sucked in. I walked over to the woman and said "excuse me Ms Eyefull Tower you raised a heap of eyebrows."

She jutted a shapely hip and said "I certainly do would you like to come see in the bedroom. The missus was busy punching the punchbowl and it was only her fourth round so when the bell rang for the start of the fifth and she fell headfirst IN the punch...dropping two points, I thought it would be a while before she came round six so I followed the lady into the bedroom and lo and be old there grew a plantation of raised eyebrows. Row upon row ready to be harvested. She switched the light out and whispered "see how they glow in the dark? Would you like to meet the head of production Madam Lash."

Now I'm a one woman man man, and I was stung by this overture and lashed out. So did Madam Lash. What had started as a tour of a legit hi-brow business was starting to turn into a low-brow sordid "whip around." I pride myself on self restraint. I removed the restraint by self, saw the light, stormed out.

My wife Judy was now swimming in the punchbowl, going round for the 10th time. Disqualified for head-butting the bowl. My missus raised a few eyebrows and I didn't want them crossbreeding with Madam Lash's so we left the party like refugees from a Punch and Judy show, still showing a modicum of self-restraint until we got home.

By the time I got the rind out of my wife's hair and she de-lashed me we fell fast asleep in each others sticky arms. What I'm trying to say is this. If you go to a party watch your p's and q's. Especially if you're a bit tipsy and you miss the punch lime which is;

"Conduct yourself with the utmost decorum.Don't let people think you're uncouth and have no manners. Otherwise people won't let you fight over their punchbowl...let alone lash out and swim in it with your hi-heels on.

Seriously, my wife wasn't actually swimming in it, I lie...she was dog paddling when she was disqualified. This happened a long time back. We stay home now and soak in the fishbowl, and fight over the bloody dog and the remote. Madam Lash went into Russian politics...THAT raised a few eyebrows re: Putin the cat among the Kreme lin...cheers.

About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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9 comments on Party yes...but don't go overboard. riginal.

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By Uttam Gill on January 25, 2013 at 07:17 pm

Gentle...Gentle...Gentle...Gentleman knows how to drift gently to keep the precious mass of his existence intact...Reginal this article gives a gentle tap to my head…Believe me I am smiling…You hold a great sense of humor

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By riginal on January 25, 2013 at 10:57 pm

Uttam, that comment coming from such a gentle gentleman as yourself is greatly appreciated. Apart from breathing occasionally and paying a few bills I try to avoid reality as much as I can.It's a bit of a childish trait I suppose but then how many children start wars? It's hard to hate someone when you're smiling...cheers.

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By HomeRearedChef on January 26, 2013 at 03:30 pm

I, too, am smiling, Riginal, (as always you make me smile), because I like how you see life and how you share your stories, always with a sense of humor.

Cheers Amigo! :)

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By riginal on January 26, 2013 at 10:37 pm

HRC I was going to do a piece on how a man can come two terms with menopause. I'm now on my tenth term and as soon as these bite marks heal up a bit and she stops screeching and slapping me I'll try to unlock the solution. Either that or I'll have to go out and buy bolt cutters,or, forget about the original solution and buy a new bottle?..."if a woman screams out in a forest of to leaf her alone?" cheers.

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By HomeRearedChef on January 27, 2013 at 12:57 am

Dear Riginal, I am sorry that you are now having to face the woes and throngs of menopause. Hubby here is too. I am sure he feels your pain and bruises and wholy sympathizes with you. But that is what you do and put up with for the woman you love.

Your missus sounds like a great woman! :)

Double cheers to you, Amigo!

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By Barbara MacDonald on January 27, 2013 at 12:54 pm

As always your spirit shines through your words...and it makes me smile...great write up Riginal.

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By riginal on January 28, 2013 at 04:58 am

many thanks Barb. Was watching a film about a formula one racing driver today. A Senna, one of the greatest ever. Sadly he was involved in a fatal crash.The high profile doctor who wasn't "particularly religious" attended and frantically tried to revive him. He told the media that the driver was deceased...(doctor's words)..."he then let out a sigh and if you believe in God I felt his spirit leave his body."

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By Barbara MacDonald on January 28, 2013 at 12:22 pm

Sigh... sorry for the lose...I totally believe in spirits and God is in control and directing my life...I surrendered to this long ago... I often feel them with me. I was telling Melanie I had posted a picture on Facebook I took yesterday while mediating and you can so clearly see the orbs and spirits surrounding was pretty amazing to visualize what I know is true.

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By Justyna88 on May 08, 2014 at 05:50 am

Ok it is so awesome pozycjonowanie stron

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