Saturday, October 20, 2018

What the ???

by gt281 (writer), State of Denial, December 29, 2012

I started reading some of the stories in that book and I was appalled..

Hey, what’s going on here? Where’s Hillary Dillary and that damn village of hers, where’s the PTA, the PDF, the HTML, where’s MADD? Haven’t they been watching? Have they forgotten? Aren’t they supposed to be censoring all things upon this earth to protect the youth of our nation and the unborn?

How can they let this go on?

It was just the other day, yes it was Tuesday, X-mas day as a matter of fact, if it’s any of your bees wax. Anyway, I was over at my Aunt Bertha’s house doing the ‘merry-how-are-you-here’s-you-gift-give-me-mine-goodbye’ ritual for this time of year. Aunt Bertha was fortunately the last spin on my merry-go-round ride of the night before I could head home to put my own Yule log to bed, if you catch my drift. Anyway, Aunt Bertha has a couple of kids, their kind of young, about five or six years old I suppose, and this year before I could escape it was decided (by Aunt Bertha of course) that I should read them some fairy tales before they went to bed. She got an old book from out of her den called ‘Mother Goose’. A harmless enough looking book, it had lots of cute drawings and cartoons in it, so I thought it would be kind of fun and easy to read it to them. Besides the faster they went to bed the faster I could make my escape.

I started reading some of the stories in that book and I was appalled. These were horrifying stories, certainly not something that should be read to innocent children who play Halo on the X-Box. Ghastly, mean stories, of death and witched witches. There was one story in there that had an egg shaped guy jump off a wall and commit suicide. Is that any kind of story to tell young children? Then in the story a bunch of soldiers came by and ate him. What kind of sick mind makes up things like that? Another story had these two kids just walking along in the woods and then an evil witch captured them and put the kids in an oven. What the?

There were stories in there about cooks putting live birds in pies, and a poor welfare mother with lots and lots of kids, so many she didn’t know what to do with them, she just let them run around in old shoes, another story had a guy named Jack setting fire to everything with a candle. It was terrible. Well, I just couldn’t bring myself to read those stories to my Aunt Bertha’s kids. It was horrible. Why doesn’t somebody do something about these stories, shouldn’t they all be gathered up and burnt, or at least put a warning on them saying ‘for adults only’.

As soon as I get enough money scraped together I’m going to buy a stamp and mail a letter to Hillary Dillary and tell her about this, and as soon as she’s President I’m sure she’ll make it a top priority. Because after all it takes a village………………

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gt281 is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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5 comments on What the ???

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By melanie jean juneau on December 29, 2012 at 03:27 pm

Great satire and SO true.. Yet, as a child I was not horrifired because, without graphic pictues and language, I did not grasp the stark reality of the "fairy tales." When iIlooked at them as an adult, I too was shokced by the gruesome themes.

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By gt281 on December 29, 2012 at 04:37 pm

motherofnine9: They will soon be outlawed and re-edited by the bubble-wrapping hall monitors of life…

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By melanie jean juneau on December 29, 2012 at 05:48 pm

Ha- what a sterile world they try to manufacture for kids- it is suffocating

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By gt281 on December 29, 2012 at 06:47 pm

motherofnine9: I own 50,000 shares of Acme Bubble Wrap Inc., which is manufactured by the Wile E. Corp. just outside Beep-Beep Arizona…

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By melanie jean juneau on December 29, 2012 at 06:58 pm

My response? A loud uncontroled HA and a huge smile that refuses to go away

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