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It is the year of the robot 2030. riginal.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, December 29, 2012

The future of mankind as we know it rests firmly in the demure hands of a woman! Go figure!


It is the year 2030. WORKING and ATTEMPTED wordsmithing is punishable by death. I'm 150. I don't feel well. Maybe something I didn't eat. Don't eat much these days anyway. Most of my body organ parts are cellnamel rapid growth site...inside my tetraplasmic impregnated web growth internals. My designated robot 69 stopped. I shouted out in frustration, kicked the flat solar powered son- of- a- bitch in the guts. "God! bloody stupid overzealous robot ruled idiotic world." Faint transcripts from the robot's last dying seconds were sent to Waffle Headquarters at Sloth.The robot Cappers arrived,uncapped number 69...checked the readout, took photostills of the dent I inflicted changed the panel...pinned the charge card to my earlobe receptor-clipped a new supplementary charge belt on 69- hovered off. I was as good as dead. The charge pack re-juvenated 'guard' droned,"you must register now through the ATMZ SIN BIN." 69 gave a lopsided tin grin. Pointed an alloy hum arm at the Sin Bin...I sensed a smirk.

"How do you plead human?" Looked into the eye scan. Pressed my recognition phaser co-ordinate, inserted the 'charge' card into the AUTOMATIC ATMZ SIN BIN. I stooped down. "I am sort of guilty sir." whirr. "You will die...section 346 has no "sort of " encrypt...the voice slowed. "Out of service at the mo... but Robot 69 will bring you to the 'kill zone' with his human trans truck...stay in your dwell bubble until called. Do not run physically, or verbally, at the mouth. You wretched old wretched old" I kicked the mute chute cracked button and walked to my bubble. 69 gave a sigh, the recorded kick had been sent through to the Waffle 'sports arena' in Sloth. "You are gone human...hope you got a kick out of it ?" "Shut up you tin bag of overdesigned magnatrash!" 69 recorded...pulled an oil coil line and glugged down the sweet contents. I shaded my eyes against the glare...motioned the bubble window to 'extreme shade.' "Hell!" the sun was dying 50 shades at a time. A dull red accounted for the "drain" effect on the the robot population left in charge by the invading aliens who vanished some five years ago...leaving behind a 'patched up' solar system. But it was MANKIND that had ruined it up to this point before the untimely emergency 'VISIT'.

As already stated, 5 years earlier the aliens had landed. A middle- east Western stand- off. Every nation was disarmed by the superior visitor. The world welcomed the advanced race. UNTIL! a televised speech by the President. The world watched in awe as the diminutive brain powerful creature with the reptilian eyes signed a peace-treaty form in invisible ink. THEN! the human race screamed as one in horror and revulsion as the President of America embraced the alien then slowly methodically peeled off his bloodied outer entrails of excess human skin to reveal his reptilian heritage."The visitor spoke first. "We have been here since the dawn of civilization...we tried NOT to interfere. We had to take President Obama away...he is safe. He was- our last and YOUR last- hope. We were forced to install one of our own under his guise, you guys ignored him, refused to co-operate. We gave you advanced future technology (parking inspectors-chewing gum) but you told them to stick it! "FINE my ass" said,so they did! The other alien raised his head and roared telepathically through the silent noise of hatred and mistrust. "We will install robotic masters...your freedom will be restricted to obeyance and free will...we will make the planet 'liveable'...we make NO promises. Disobey or WORK for ANY reason,you will die! Postal workers are exempt." The aliens finally left, leaving behind their remote controlled army. So now here I stand in the arena...waiting to die...I only mowed the bloody lawn for God sake!...the missus used to say that she'd kill me if I didn't! The laser cleaver was raised! The robots screeched in unison."Die human!" Jeeze...I only put a small dent in 69! Suddenly, AN IDEA! Somehow I had to get in touch with Australia's Julia Gillard. The world needed a WOMAN'S PM touch! I brushed aside the cleaver and started running toward a female voice. A slender hand reached out...I screamed...the robots were gaining..."Julia! Julia! I need you girl! you must save the world!" The voice screamed back..."i'm not JULIA!...WAKE UP!...have some breakfast!...mow the damn lawn...YOU do the hard bit!...I'LL save the world after breakfast!" I grabbed hold of my understanding wife. She smothered me gently with my memory pillow. She let some oxygen in briefly then hissed..."who the hell is JULIA?"...

About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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6 comments on It is the year of the robot 2030. riginal.

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By riginal on December 29, 2012 at 08:45 pm

to Tony Berkman, I wish to thank you. sincerely for your comments on recent blogs...much appreciated sir.

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By melanie jean juneau on December 31, 2012 at 09:31 am

really well written and funny

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By HomeRearedChef on December 31, 2012 at 02:23 pm

"Funny," I agree. Well done, Riginal. And when are you going to put together a book with words created by Riginal? I think you are on to something here! :)

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By riginal on December 31, 2012 at 07:35 pm

many thanks to both of you...I would be happy just writing one liners and have done and more. Mother o9 said something profound in one of her blogs and i think HRC alluded to it too. " I hate losing but i hate winning more so." Hoping to record again soon after a long awaited nose operation. There's a 'tangible' wall of nepotism that's very hard to punctuate through here tho it's been a while since i've tried. There's so many wonderful writers trying to suck on the same sav (sausage). Good luck to them. I'd like to write some farce up for Congress but some guy called Fiscal Cliff seems to have everyone 'HANGING' round and spellbound. Might have to send Julia in...cheers....have a wonderful year everyBODY...and also to those still trying to find theirs after the New Year??? I believe our lives are already mapped out...I'm hopeless with maps....

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By melanie jean juneau on December 31, 2012 at 07:53 pm

wow remembered that line- my kids roll their eyes when I say that

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By Elimira88 on May 16, 2014 at 08:13 am

I might like that with pozycjonowanie

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